*sighh*
so I'm gonna keep this short and simple.....tonight, someone whom I'm very close to, did something so unthinkably inconsiderate, yet so feebly miniscule unless understood, that I am at a complete loss for words and am so offended that if said person were here right now, i would have to restrain myself from using violence....now mind you, I've only been prone to violence about four times in my life, and only once did I act upon those violent urges (it involved very quickly and efficiently grabbing someone's head, and slamming it into a school locker repeatedly....I have never had a violent outburst since, and if you're lookin at me funny, then beleive me 100 percent when I tell you it was completely justified). it's just.....it's the last person I would expect to do this to me...and I was so heavily offended not by the act itself, but by who did it, and the reason why.....I am completely and utterly disgusted right now, and cannot stop myself from shaking. Sleep will fix this, and tomorrow, I predict that this situation will descend to hell in a a faggy handbasket, exactly in the way I know it will....with me looking like the bad guy for calmly and rationally explaining my situation to someone who more than fucked up....while they go on about their life, never realizing that if it happened to them, they would have taken it worse than I did : / why is it, that when someone screws me over, I can forgive and forget, but when I actually have a problem getting screwed over for the tenth time and would like it to stop, I'm an asshole? I understand....sometimes there's no dealing with people, but at the same time, must it be the people I foolishly decided would be my closest friends? it's what I'd expect from a random floozie......but not you. not you at all, my friend. and you'll walk away from this with your nose in the air, under the assumption that my simple request for an explanation or rationalization, not an apology, was a complete dick move, and that I'm the biggest douchebag for being the slightest bit upset about it......so I'm gonna say here what you will never see, not because I fear what you'll think if you saw it, but because if I told you, I wouldn't finish, and we'd end up at the same spot we'd be otherwise....I bent over backwards for you, I starved for you, I stopped sleeping for you, I held you while you cried, I listened to you make excuse after excuse, I was patient, I loved you.....yet now I'm not even worth an answer to my questions....I get treated worse than your enemies, treated worse than customers that give you shit at work.....you remember that night I helped you move after working an eight hour shift at work, and didn't eat because I couldn't afford to feed myself? who regulated that entire situation while you sat in a panicked frenzy crying? who taught you to get out more, taught you not to judge, helped you live a little? and this is what I get for it.....nothing but the cold shoulder when all I asked for, is something even a baby eating cat rapist would do.....answer a fucking question >.> you'll never understood how it felt, nor will you care, because you'll simply justify it like you always do with some backwards ass reason that is only half true, but easy to stick to.... if i did this to you, you would never forgive me....if I did this to you, you would've continued calling me until I answered....you would've txted me a hundred times.....I called you once, and allowed your cold shoulder to be the end of it....and all I'm gonna get for it is shit.......so you know what I say to that? bring it on mother fucker,or as the juggernaut would say "I've been waitin for this all my mutha fuckin life!!!" I've gotten used to people hating me when I tell them I'm tired of getting crapped on....to maybe start shitting in the toilet, instead of on my head and asking me to wipe their ass when i'm done...but God forbid I run outta toilet paper.....then I'M the asshole >.> fuck you....fuck you indeed.