I'm almost too ashamed of how long it's been to continue. ALMOST.
Hey, remember that Bobbsey Twins Liveblog I was doing back in, uh... 2009-2010? Well, HAVE SOME MORE. If you need to catch up or refresh your memories (as you certainly do), here is a handy-dandy chapter list for you.
Chapter One: In which our heroes are introduced.
Chapter Two: In which our male heroes attempt to literally tackle a bad guy.
Chapter Three: In which our heroes visit a historic property with no adult supervision.
Chapter Four: In which our female heroes attempt to emulate the male heroes in chapter two and fail miserably.
Chapter Five: In which our heroes chase their main suspect around a mountain.
Chapter Six: In which our heroes go antiquing.
Chapter Seven: In which our heroes visit a mushroom cave.
Chapter Eight: In which our heroes visit a petting zoo and dredge the Hudson River.
And now, without further ado, I present Chapter Nine: Spooky Lights.
The last chapter's heart-stopping cliffhanger involved the disappearance of Freddie, one of the younger twins. Flossie has checked the house, but to no avail! Fortunately, them being on an island rather limits the number of places he could possibly be, and the remaining Bobbsey children begin a systematic search.
When they neared the rocky side of the island, Nan grabbed Bert's arm. "You don't suppose he fell off the bank into the water!"
"We'll look, but you know Freddie can swim," Bert said reassuringly.
"Maybe he's trying to find that queer box you hooked this morning," Flossie suggested.
I dunno, guys. Admittedly, I've never seen the Hudson River, but I don't imagine it as the sort of thing kindergartners could safely swim in without supervision. Also, I am willing to bet money that if Flossie was the one who'd potentially fallen into the river, everyone would be significantly more concerned that she'd drowned. Which, given the way the ladies' attempts at adventuring have gone, is a fair assumption. Nan couldn't even make it to the waterline without concussing herself.
Also, let's take another moment to appreciate how fascinated these kids are by a piece of nasty river flotsam. Ah, the innocence of youth. And stupidity. Ah, the stupidity of youth.
There's no sign of Freddie outside the house, which suggests that Flossie's original search of the house was a bit subpar. I bet if Bert had searched the house the first time, he would have found him. But surprisingly, it's Nan who figures out where Freddie's hiding: the cupola at the top of the house. When she climbs up there, she finds him fast asleep on the floor.
"Oh, Nan!" he said in surprise. "How did you find me? I was playing Rip Van Winkle, and I went to sleep!"
I'd like to think he put a slight emphasis on 'you.' Also, is this Freddie's way of saying that someone drugged him? THE PLOT THICKENS.
After they head back downstairs and Freddie explains himself, Flossie expresses gratitude that they didn't have to spend twenty years hunting for him. My god, can you imagine? "The Bobbsey Twins and la Casita de Tomás," by Laura Lee NOPE.
Aaaaaanyway. Toony informs the children that he's heading off to River Edge for groceries and asks if they'd like to come along, too. Golly, they sure would! Bert suggests they "do some detective work" while in town, which translates to "pester Slippery Jenks."
Toony actually leaves the children to go bother Mr. Jenks on their own while he shops, which... well, it was a simpler time, I guess. And I suppose they do outnumber him. Unfortunately, Slippery isn't at home. Who knew a man named Slippery would be so hard to pin down? Fortunately, his chatty neighbor is in, and she's more than happy to drop some exposition on the children with little to no provocation. As with last time, while the information she gives them is helpful, the text seems to be judging her rather harshly for not keeping her pie hole shut. Observe:
As they turned away, the gossipy woman next door came out onto her porch. "Mr. Jenks is hardly ever at home in the daytime," she volunteered. "He's got a new boat."
The woman sniffed, then went on, "Don't know where he got the money to buy it. Couldn't make that much workin' with mushrooms!" That's what you think, lady.
"Thank you," said Nan. "We'll come back some other time."
But the woman was not to be stopped. "Mighty queer goin's on over there," she continued. "I've seen Mr. Jenks sneak into his house at night, always carryin' somethin'." With that she went inside and shut the door.
The woman was not to be stopped. The woman was not to be stopped! She is a firehose of useful information, damn her eyes!
Incidentally, I do have to raise my eyebrows at the description of him sneaking into his own home. He lives alone, right? So uh... sneaking would be kind of unnecessary, right? I suspect if this woman lived next door to me, she would describe my comings and goings in much the same manner simply because I don't stomp my feet and I have the audacity to carry a purse.
Nan posits the theory that Slippery Jenks sold off Aunt Alice's things to buy that fancy new boat of his, but Bert reminds her that they don't know for certain that Jenks is the culprit. For those of you admiring Bert's level-headedness, may I remind you that he and his six-year-old brother attempted to physically take down a mysterious man who was on the island one night? Because that happened, and I know I mention it a lot, but you're just going to have to deal, because I will never, ever be over it.
At Freddie's suggestion, the children try peeping in Mr. Jenks's windows to see whatever he's sneaking into the house. They don't see anything (except for a bunch of button-filled jars, presumably), and Bert and Nan decide to head back to the street.
But providence is kind! There's a man walking towards them who could very well be one Slippery Jenks! Bert approaches him, but Possibly Jenks isn't having it and shoves him aside. Kind of a dick move, shoving a kid, but if this is the same guy Bert and Freddie rugby tackled, perhaps we should be admiring his restraint. Possibly Jenks is less than pleased to find Freddie and Flossie still peeping in his windows.
"What are you doing here?" he yelled. "Get off my property!"
LEAPIN' LIZARDS!
In the face of Slippery Jenks's righteous fury, the twins skedaddle. Nan suggests they get Toony, thinking Jenks is more likely to talk to the man he apparently hates. But when they all return to his house post-groceries, Jenks refuses to let them in. Toony busts out the big guns, immediately telling Jenks that they found his button. He demands to know what Jenks was doing on Conover Island.
"I was looking for my fishing pole!" Slippery said defiantly.
"A likely story!" Toony replied with scorn.
Slippery sticks to his story, adding, "There was no reason for those kids to jump me!" Those of you playing the USPDG, take a shot! Also, it WAS Slippery on the island! Unfortunately, that's all they get out of him. Toony doesn't even bother to ask about Aunt Alice's box, theorizing that Jenks would have just lied about it, anyway. Nan points out how strange it is that he didn't ask for his button back, and you know what? I have a theory.
Part of this theory just stems from the fact that I couldn't help reading this scene and feeling rather sorry for poor Mr. Jenks. If we presume he's innocent and look at it from his perspective, these moppets are harassing the shit out of him, and there's nothing he can do because they're moppets. I'm going to call it: I think Toony's the one behind it all. Jenks doesn't want his button back because he never lost one; Toony planted it. And he knows Jenks will deny knowledge of the box because he knows Jenks never touched it in the first place. We can all go home.
Except no, we can't! More mysteries are afoot! That very same evening, Nan notices some strange lights on the river. And as we all know, strange lights are the Bobbseys' cue to put on their robes and slippers and run out into the night. This time, it's early enough in the evening that Mrs. Bobbsey and Aunt Alice are still awake, but all Mrs. Bobbsey does is tell them to be careful. Gold star, Mrs. Bobbsey! Mother of the year!
The children head to the rocky side of the island and see a pair of lights bobbing out on the water. They're just far enough from shore that wading out to them isn't an option. I seem to recall Freddie being a good swimmer, but Bert has another plan: he fetches an huge pole from the dock that has a hook on the end. By lying down on the edge of the embankment, he can just about reach the nearer of the two lights.
"It's attached to something!" Bert said triumphantly.
Gee, whiz! Bert hauls in the light and its mystery attachment, which turns out to be a "midget oil drum." I believe they're called little oil drums, Laura Lee Hope. But that's not the point: the point is that it strongly resembles the drum Bert accidentally hooked the previous chapter! Gasp!
Meanwhile, the other mystery light is picked up by a mystery boatman. Bert tries shining his flashlight out there to see who it is, to no avail (though whoever it is doubtless knew there was something on shore trying to suss them out, so uh, well done).
The twins take their prize inside, and with some help from Toony and a few tools, they manage to open it.
The group huddled close, staring in surprise.
So ends Chapter Nine. Expect the next installment in 2015!
Chapter One: In which our heroes are introduced.
Chapter Two: In which our male heroes attempt to literally tackle a bad guy.
Chapter Three: In which our heroes visit a historic property with no adult supervision.
Chapter Four: In which our female heroes attempt to emulate the male heroes in chapter two and fail miserably.
Chapter Five: In which our heroes chase their main suspect around a mountain.
Chapter Six: In which our heroes go antiquing.
Chapter Seven: In which our heroes visit a mushroom cave.
Chapter Eight: In which our heroes visit a petting zoo and dredge the Hudson River.
And now, without further ado, I present Chapter Nine: Spooky Lights.
The last chapter's heart-stopping cliffhanger involved the disappearance of Freddie, one of the younger twins. Flossie has checked the house, but to no avail! Fortunately, them being on an island rather limits the number of places he could possibly be, and the remaining Bobbsey children begin a systematic search.
When they neared the rocky side of the island, Nan grabbed Bert's arm. "You don't suppose he fell off the bank into the water!"
"We'll look, but you know Freddie can swim," Bert said reassuringly.
"Maybe he's trying to find that queer box you hooked this morning," Flossie suggested.
I dunno, guys. Admittedly, I've never seen the Hudson River, but I don't imagine it as the sort of thing kindergartners could safely swim in without supervision. Also, I am willing to bet money that if Flossie was the one who'd potentially fallen into the river, everyone would be significantly more concerned that she'd drowned. Which, given the way the ladies' attempts at adventuring have gone, is a fair assumption. Nan couldn't even make it to the waterline without concussing herself.
Also, let's take another moment to appreciate how fascinated these kids are by a piece of nasty river flotsam. Ah, the innocence of youth. And stupidity. Ah, the stupidity of youth.
There's no sign of Freddie outside the house, which suggests that Flossie's original search of the house was a bit subpar. I bet if Bert had searched the house the first time, he would have found him. But surprisingly, it's Nan who figures out where Freddie's hiding: the cupola at the top of the house. When she climbs up there, she finds him fast asleep on the floor.
"Oh, Nan!" he said in surprise. "How did you find me? I was playing Rip Van Winkle, and I went to sleep!"
I'd like to think he put a slight emphasis on 'you.' Also, is this Freddie's way of saying that someone drugged him? THE PLOT THICKENS.
After they head back downstairs and Freddie explains himself, Flossie expresses gratitude that they didn't have to spend twenty years hunting for him. My god, can you imagine? "The Bobbsey Twins and la Casita de Tomás," by Laura Lee NOPE.
Aaaaaanyway. Toony informs the children that he's heading off to River Edge for groceries and asks if they'd like to come along, too. Golly, they sure would! Bert suggests they "do some detective work" while in town, which translates to "pester Slippery Jenks."
Toony actually leaves the children to go bother Mr. Jenks on their own while he shops, which... well, it was a simpler time, I guess. And I suppose they do outnumber him. Unfortunately, Slippery isn't at home. Who knew a man named Slippery would be so hard to pin down? Fortunately, his chatty neighbor is in, and she's more than happy to drop some exposition on the children with little to no provocation. As with last time, while the information she gives them is helpful, the text seems to be judging her rather harshly for not keeping her pie hole shut. Observe:
As they turned away, the gossipy woman next door came out onto her porch. "Mr. Jenks is hardly ever at home in the daytime," she volunteered. "He's got a new boat."
The woman sniffed, then went on, "Don't know where he got the money to buy it. Couldn't make that much workin' with mushrooms!" That's what you think, lady.
"Thank you," said Nan. "We'll come back some other time."
But the woman was not to be stopped. "Mighty queer goin's on over there," she continued. "I've seen Mr. Jenks sneak into his house at night, always carryin' somethin'." With that she went inside and shut the door.
The woman was not to be stopped. The woman was not to be stopped! She is a firehose of useful information, damn her eyes!
Incidentally, I do have to raise my eyebrows at the description of him sneaking into his own home. He lives alone, right? So uh... sneaking would be kind of unnecessary, right? I suspect if this woman lived next door to me, she would describe my comings and goings in much the same manner simply because I don't stomp my feet and I have the audacity to carry a purse.
Nan posits the theory that Slippery Jenks sold off Aunt Alice's things to buy that fancy new boat of his, but Bert reminds her that they don't know for certain that Jenks is the culprit. For those of you admiring Bert's level-headedness, may I remind you that he and his six-year-old brother attempted to physically take down a mysterious man who was on the island one night? Because that happened, and I know I mention it a lot, but you're just going to have to deal, because I will never, ever be over it.
At Freddie's suggestion, the children try peeping in Mr. Jenks's windows to see whatever he's sneaking into the house. They don't see anything (except for a bunch of button-filled jars, presumably), and Bert and Nan decide to head back to the street.
But providence is kind! There's a man walking towards them who could very well be one Slippery Jenks! Bert approaches him, but Possibly Jenks isn't having it and shoves him aside. Kind of a dick move, shoving a kid, but if this is the same guy Bert and Freddie rugby tackled, perhaps we should be admiring his restraint. Possibly Jenks is less than pleased to find Freddie and Flossie still peeping in his windows.
"What are you doing here?" he yelled. "Get off my property!"
LEAPIN' LIZARDS!
In the face of Slippery Jenks's righteous fury, the twins skedaddle. Nan suggests they get Toony, thinking Jenks is more likely to talk to the man he apparently hates. But when they all return to his house post-groceries, Jenks refuses to let them in. Toony busts out the big guns, immediately telling Jenks that they found his button. He demands to know what Jenks was doing on Conover Island.
"I was looking for my fishing pole!" Slippery said defiantly.
"A likely story!" Toony replied with scorn.
Slippery sticks to his story, adding, "There was no reason for those kids to jump me!" Those of you playing the USPDG, take a shot! Also, it WAS Slippery on the island! Unfortunately, that's all they get out of him. Toony doesn't even bother to ask about Aunt Alice's box, theorizing that Jenks would have just lied about it, anyway. Nan points out how strange it is that he didn't ask for his button back, and you know what? I have a theory.
Part of this theory just stems from the fact that I couldn't help reading this scene and feeling rather sorry for poor Mr. Jenks. If we presume he's innocent and look at it from his perspective, these moppets are harassing the shit out of him, and there's nothing he can do because they're moppets. I'm going to call it: I think Toony's the one behind it all. Jenks doesn't want his button back because he never lost one; Toony planted it. And he knows Jenks will deny knowledge of the box because he knows Jenks never touched it in the first place. We can all go home.
Except no, we can't! More mysteries are afoot! That very same evening, Nan notices some strange lights on the river. And as we all know, strange lights are the Bobbseys' cue to put on their robes and slippers and run out into the night. This time, it's early enough in the evening that Mrs. Bobbsey and Aunt Alice are still awake, but all Mrs. Bobbsey does is tell them to be careful. Gold star, Mrs. Bobbsey! Mother of the year!
The children head to the rocky side of the island and see a pair of lights bobbing out on the water. They're just far enough from shore that wading out to them isn't an option. I seem to recall Freddie being a good swimmer, but Bert has another plan: he fetches an huge pole from the dock that has a hook on the end. By lying down on the edge of the embankment, he can just about reach the nearer of the two lights.
"It's attached to something!" Bert said triumphantly.
Gee, whiz! Bert hauls in the light and its mystery attachment, which turns out to be a "midget oil drum." I believe they're called little oil drums, Laura Lee Hope. But that's not the point: the point is that it strongly resembles the drum Bert accidentally hooked the previous chapter! Gasp!
Meanwhile, the other mystery light is picked up by a mystery boatman. Bert tries shining his flashlight out there to see who it is, to no avail (though whoever it is doubtless knew there was something on shore trying to suss them out, so uh, well done).
The twins take their prize inside, and with some help from Toony and a few tools, they manage to open it.
The group huddled close, staring in surprise.
So ends Chapter Nine. Expect the next installment in 2015!