IT'S BACK!
Time for another installment of the Bobbsey Twins Liveblog, which is so long overdue that it has now become the Bobbsey Twins Liveblog 2009-?, essentially. UNACCEPTABLE. I hereby give you all permission to hit me with pool noodles if I fail to update at least once a month, because REALLY.
If you need a refresher, and you probably do, follow the tag to find the other chapters.
Without further ado, Chapter Seven: the Mushroom Cave.
The horrible cliffhanger from the previous chapter is quickly resolved. The wooden flute the antique dealer has is not the one that was stolen.
Miss Conover shook her head disappointedly.
"This isn't mine! The flute I loaned to the museum had the initials J. C. carved on it. The original owner's name was Joost Conover."
"Joost!" Mrs. Bobbsey remarked. "That's an unusual name!"
"Joost is Dutch for George," her aunt said.
There, we've all learned something today, haven't we? I mean, aside from the fact that Flossie's fascination with foreign-sounding names is hereditary. Speaking of hereditary, why is Aunt Alice referring to someone who is probably one of her ancestors (same surname, after all) in such impersonal terms? Maybe she and this "Joost" fellow had a falling out. THE MYSTERY DEEPENS.
The children are so put out by the lack of results that they are silent on the car ride back to River Edge.
After typing that last sentence, I just sat in my chair and stared at my computer screen for a solid two minutes, trying to imagine a world in which children respond to disappointment and frustration by shutting up. It... it would be glorious.
... I just zoned out for another two minutes, imagining. MOVING ON.
They spot Toony coming out of a barbershop as they drive through town. Toony flags down the car and announces that he has intel on that nefarious character, Slippery Jenks.
Toony said he had discovered that Slippery was working in a mushroom cave not far from Kingston.
"Can we go there?" Bert asked eagerly.
I want to laugh at Bert's eagerness to visit the mushroom cave--that does seem like the obvious joke, here--but I'm too busy cracking up over "Slippery" being treated as a proper first name. What the hell, Laura Lee Hope?! I dunno, perhaps it's a family name, like the Jenks clan is descended from a long, proud line of performing sea lions.
On an unrelated note, I'm wondering just how Toony came across this golden nugget of information. Did his barber tell him? Or did he just happen to spot Slippery Jenks while he was in the cave for recreational purposes? Let's read on; perhaps we'll find out!
Toony and the rest of the group part ways, agreeing to meet at the dock later, after Mrs. Bobbsey has returned Mrs. Meyer's car. When they drop off the car, it is agreed that they (Toony and the kids, that is) will borrow it again the next day to visit the caves, and that the no-account Cliff will accompany them. The women-folk are going to stay on the island and continue packing.
On the way back to the island, Nan asks about the mushroom caves' origin:
The river man explained that a great deal of limestone rock had formerly been mined in the hills around Kingston. When the work had stopped, great caves had been left where the rock had been taken out.
"The dampness and the temperature of the caves are just right for growing mushrooms," he went on, "so some of the caves are used for that purpose nowadays."
"Ooh! I love caves!" Flossie exclaimed.
"The river man" is Toony, by the way. And we can expand Flossie's list of likes: it now includes "dolls" and "caves." This combination is not the least bit odd or off-putting.
Dolls.
Caves.
Dolls.
Caves.
DOLLS.
CAVES.
Sweet dreams, everyone.
The gang heads out the following morning, a wicker basket of lunchables in hand.
When they reached the Myers' house the car was parked at the curb and Cliff was waiting impatiently in the front seat.
Of course he was impatient; he is the anti-Bobbsey foil! I see his little mishap at George Washington's house hasn't straightened him out. Cliff, you little shit.
Bert asks just where the caves are, and Toony replies that he isn't sure which mushroom cave Slippery Jenks is working in (there are quite a few!)... so they're just going to do this via good old-fashioned process of elimination, I guess.
After thirty minutes of driving, Toony turns onto a dirt road, slows the car, and starts staring at the hillside.
"I'm looking for a cave," he explained.
Thanks for the explanation, Toony! During that half-hour car ride, everyone else completely forgot the purpose of the trip. They all keep their eyes peeled for a cave, which Toony says will "probably look like a garage door built against the side of a mountain," and soon enough, Freddie spots one. They stop the car and pile out to investigate.
[Toony] took a flashlight from his pocket--(so it was just a flashlight!)--and led the way toward the cave. "There aren't any tire marks leading to the entrance," he noted.
"No footprints, either," Bert observed.
"It's still worth investigating," Toony said, as he pulled open the huge door. It creaked and groaned, revealing a cavern so inky black that the flashlight beam could not pierce its depths. Fortunately, however, the light from the entrance enabled them to distinguish the area directly in front of them.
The children looked around, and Flossie grabbed Nan's hand. "It's spooky!" she said.
What the hell, Flossie?! I thought you liked caves!
Anyway, the cave seems pretty abandoned, so they close it up and leave. They check a few more, but no dice. Finally, Toony pulls over and asks for directions, and a gas station attendant points them towards a cave that isn't too far away. This one, unlike the others, is standing open, so they head inside.
"Ooh! It looks different from the others!" Flossie exclaimed. "Much nicer."
Flossie ALWAYS exclaims. You can tell by the exclamation points. That last comment of hers demonstrates a rare moment of levity for Flossie Bobbsey.
The cave is dimly lit by a string of electric bulbs, and the ground is muddy. They squelch along the twisting passage, occasionally calling out but never getting a response.
"It seems to be empty," Toony said.
"Let's go around that next turn," Burt urged.
When they rounded the bend, they all stopped in astonishment. The cave had widened and now sloped downward into a great circle. The children saw several trucks parked around the walls and four or five small tractors moving busily about. Men were piling flat wooden trays on racks which were scattered in piles on the ground.
"Hello!" Toony called again.
A man driving one of the tractors shut off the motor and came up to the group. "Can I help you?" he asked pleasantly, surprised to see the visitors. "I'm the foreman."
Before Toony could answer, Flossie spoke up. "Where are all the mushrooms?" she asked.
All right, Flossie, you've redeemed yourself. Way to get right to the point! SHROOMS! NOW, FOREMAN, NOW!
The foreman explains that the mushrooms haven't grown, yet, but that they will. His biology lesson goes as follows: "We plant the spores in the straw mixture in the trays and--well, that's the way mushrooms are grown." Thanks, foreman! Other classic explanations include such gems as, "We press the keys to make the sounds and--well, that's the way a piano duet is played," and, "We put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up and--well, that's how bellyaches are relieved."
As most of the group stands riveted by the foreman's 'explanation,' Freddie happens to see one of the workmen giving the group a startled glance and hustling off into a side passage. AHA!
SHENANIGANS!!!
"Maybe that's Slippery!" Freddie thought. He turned to Cliff, who stood next to him. "I'm going to follow that man!" he whispered.
"Okay! I'll come with you!" Cliff said.
The boys sneak after the guy. Freddie manages to keep Possibly Jenks in his sights for a while, but the man soon outstrips him, leaving him alone in the dark. That's right, Cliff ditched him. Are we really surprised?
"I--I can't even see," he told himself. "Which way do I go?"
Bravely Freddie tried to be calm. He strained his eyes in the gloom. Then he saw a point of light in the distance and heard Nan calling, "Freddie! Freddie!"
"Here I am!" he cried happily and began to run back toward his sister. "I almost caught the bad man."
"What a shame you didn't!"
Yes, what a shame. Also a shame: that her response was not a more appropriate, "QUIT CHASING DOWN ADULTS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW," perhaps punctuated by a thwap upside the head.
Thankfully, Toony is willing to take the youngsters to task. He scolds Freddie for scampering off, and scolds a shame-faced Cliff for ditching him.
"But I thought I could catch Slippery!" [Freddie] added, telling of his suspicions.
"That's what we wanted to ask you," Bert said to the foreman. "Does a man named Slippery Jenks work here?"
The foreman looked around. "Yes, but I don't see him. If it was Slip whom Freddie saw going down the tunnel, he probably went out another exit. It's possible to walk through these caves for miles if you know your way."
"Where can we catch him?" Bert demanded.
"I don't know. If I send you to one place, he'll probably come out another."
"We'll come back," Bert declared.
"I don't think Slippery wil return if he's trying to avoid you," the foreman said, and Toony agreed.
Freddie felt bad, but said bravely, "I'll catch him some other way!"
Okay, it's officially established: his first name is Slippery--which is probably Dutch for Samuel or something--and it evidently carries no negative connotations in the community, since people are hiring him to work in their shroom pits. Okay. Fine. Whatever. It's not like this exchange wasn't ridiculous on several other levels, anyway.
They bid farewell to the foreman and leave the caves. They eat their lunchables, and Toony announces that they aren't very far from the "Catskill Game Farm" and asks if the kids want to see some animals. AND HOW.
The game farm seems like a popular place. They buy tickets and head inside, where Flossie spies a souvenir booth selling, among other things, stupid hats. FLOSSIE WANTS. Bert offers to buy everyone hats, which seems like a generous offer until we read that "the hats were of different colors, and each one had a little white pompon on top." Yes, the book says "pompon;" I have no idea if it's a typo or not.
Flossie stood by a fenced-off area to wait for Bert, who was getting his change. As her brother turned away from the booth, a look of alarm came over his face.
"Look out, Flossie!" he yelled.
Oh, no! Whatever could be the matter? Well, you'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out; Hope has hit us with another of her horrible cliffhangers. Dan Brown, eat your heart out.
If you need a refresher, and you probably do, follow the tag to find the other chapters.
Without further ado, Chapter Seven: the Mushroom Cave.
The horrible cliffhanger from the previous chapter is quickly resolved. The wooden flute the antique dealer has is not the one that was stolen.
Miss Conover shook her head disappointedly.
"This isn't mine! The flute I loaned to the museum had the initials J. C. carved on it. The original owner's name was Joost Conover."
"Joost!" Mrs. Bobbsey remarked. "That's an unusual name!"
"Joost is Dutch for George," her aunt said.
There, we've all learned something today, haven't we? I mean, aside from the fact that Flossie's fascination with foreign-sounding names is hereditary. Speaking of hereditary, why is Aunt Alice referring to someone who is probably one of her ancestors (same surname, after all) in such impersonal terms? Maybe she and this "Joost" fellow had a falling out. THE MYSTERY DEEPENS.
The children are so put out by the lack of results that they are silent on the car ride back to River Edge.
After typing that last sentence, I just sat in my chair and stared at my computer screen for a solid two minutes, trying to imagine a world in which children respond to disappointment and frustration by shutting up. It... it would be glorious.
... I just zoned out for another two minutes, imagining. MOVING ON.
They spot Toony coming out of a barbershop as they drive through town. Toony flags down the car and announces that he has intel on that nefarious character, Slippery Jenks.
Toony said he had discovered that Slippery was working in a mushroom cave not far from Kingston.
"Can we go there?" Bert asked eagerly.
I want to laugh at Bert's eagerness to visit the mushroom cave--that does seem like the obvious joke, here--but I'm too busy cracking up over "Slippery" being treated as a proper first name. What the hell, Laura Lee Hope?! I dunno, perhaps it's a family name, like the Jenks clan is descended from a long, proud line of performing sea lions.
On an unrelated note, I'm wondering just how Toony came across this golden nugget of information. Did his barber tell him? Or did he just happen to spot Slippery Jenks while he was in the cave for recreational purposes? Let's read on; perhaps we'll find out!
Toony and the rest of the group part ways, agreeing to meet at the dock later, after Mrs. Bobbsey has returned Mrs. Meyer's car. When they drop off the car, it is agreed that they (Toony and the kids, that is) will borrow it again the next day to visit the caves, and that the no-account Cliff will accompany them. The women-folk are going to stay on the island and continue packing.
On the way back to the island, Nan asks about the mushroom caves' origin:
The river man explained that a great deal of limestone rock had formerly been mined in the hills around Kingston. When the work had stopped, great caves had been left where the rock had been taken out.
"The dampness and the temperature of the caves are just right for growing mushrooms," he went on, "so some of the caves are used for that purpose nowadays."
"Ooh! I love caves!" Flossie exclaimed.
"The river man" is Toony, by the way. And we can expand Flossie's list of likes: it now includes "dolls" and "caves." This combination is not the least bit odd or off-putting.
Dolls.
Caves.
Dolls.
Caves.
DOLLS.
CAVES.
Sweet dreams, everyone.
The gang heads out the following morning, a wicker basket of lunchables in hand.
When they reached the Myers' house the car was parked at the curb and Cliff was waiting impatiently in the front seat.
Of course he was impatient; he is the anti-Bobbsey foil! I see his little mishap at George Washington's house hasn't straightened him out. Cliff, you little shit.
Bert asks just where the caves are, and Toony replies that he isn't sure which mushroom cave Slippery Jenks is working in (there are quite a few!)... so they're just going to do this via good old-fashioned process of elimination, I guess.
After thirty minutes of driving, Toony turns onto a dirt road, slows the car, and starts staring at the hillside.
"I'm looking for a cave," he explained.
Thanks for the explanation, Toony! During that half-hour car ride, everyone else completely forgot the purpose of the trip. They all keep their eyes peeled for a cave, which Toony says will "probably look like a garage door built against the side of a mountain," and soon enough, Freddie spots one. They stop the car and pile out to investigate.
[Toony] took a flashlight from his pocket--(so it was just a flashlight!)--and led the way toward the cave. "There aren't any tire marks leading to the entrance," he noted.
"No footprints, either," Bert observed.
"It's still worth investigating," Toony said, as he pulled open the huge door. It creaked and groaned, revealing a cavern so inky black that the flashlight beam could not pierce its depths. Fortunately, however, the light from the entrance enabled them to distinguish the area directly in front of them.
The children looked around, and Flossie grabbed Nan's hand. "It's spooky!" she said.
What the hell, Flossie?! I thought you liked caves!
Anyway, the cave seems pretty abandoned, so they close it up and leave. They check a few more, but no dice. Finally, Toony pulls over and asks for directions, and a gas station attendant points them towards a cave that isn't too far away. This one, unlike the others, is standing open, so they head inside.
"Ooh! It looks different from the others!" Flossie exclaimed. "Much nicer."
Flossie ALWAYS exclaims. You can tell by the exclamation points. That last comment of hers demonstrates a rare moment of levity for Flossie Bobbsey.
The cave is dimly lit by a string of electric bulbs, and the ground is muddy. They squelch along the twisting passage, occasionally calling out but never getting a response.
"It seems to be empty," Toony said.
"Let's go around that next turn," Burt urged.
When they rounded the bend, they all stopped in astonishment. The cave had widened and now sloped downward into a great circle. The children saw several trucks parked around the walls and four or five small tractors moving busily about. Men were piling flat wooden trays on racks which were scattered in piles on the ground.
"Hello!" Toony called again.
A man driving one of the tractors shut off the motor and came up to the group. "Can I help you?" he asked pleasantly, surprised to see the visitors. "I'm the foreman."
Before Toony could answer, Flossie spoke up. "Where are all the mushrooms?" she asked.
All right, Flossie, you've redeemed yourself. Way to get right to the point! SHROOMS! NOW, FOREMAN, NOW!
The foreman explains that the mushrooms haven't grown, yet, but that they will. His biology lesson goes as follows: "We plant the spores in the straw mixture in the trays and--well, that's the way mushrooms are grown." Thanks, foreman! Other classic explanations include such gems as, "We press the keys to make the sounds and--well, that's the way a piano duet is played," and, "We put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up and--well, that's how bellyaches are relieved."
As most of the group stands riveted by the foreman's 'explanation,' Freddie happens to see one of the workmen giving the group a startled glance and hustling off into a side passage. AHA!
SHENANIGANS!!!
"Maybe that's Slippery!" Freddie thought. He turned to Cliff, who stood next to him. "I'm going to follow that man!" he whispered.
"Okay! I'll come with you!" Cliff said.
The boys sneak after the guy. Freddie manages to keep Possibly Jenks in his sights for a while, but the man soon outstrips him, leaving him alone in the dark. That's right, Cliff ditched him. Are we really surprised?
"I--I can't even see," he told himself. "Which way do I go?"
Bravely Freddie tried to be calm. He strained his eyes in the gloom. Then he saw a point of light in the distance and heard Nan calling, "Freddie! Freddie!"
"Here I am!" he cried happily and began to run back toward his sister. "I almost caught the bad man."
"What a shame you didn't!"
Yes, what a shame. Also a shame: that her response was not a more appropriate, "QUIT CHASING DOWN ADULTS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW," perhaps punctuated by a thwap upside the head.
Thankfully, Toony is willing to take the youngsters to task. He scolds Freddie for scampering off, and scolds a shame-faced Cliff for ditching him.
"But I thought I could catch Slippery!" [Freddie] added, telling of his suspicions.
"That's what we wanted to ask you," Bert said to the foreman. "Does a man named Slippery Jenks work here?"
The foreman looked around. "Yes, but I don't see him. If it was Slip whom Freddie saw going down the tunnel, he probably went out another exit. It's possible to walk through these caves for miles if you know your way."
"Where can we catch him?" Bert demanded.
"I don't know. If I send you to one place, he'll probably come out another."
"We'll come back," Bert declared.
"I don't think Slippery wil return if he's trying to avoid you," the foreman said, and Toony agreed.
Freddie felt bad, but said bravely, "I'll catch him some other way!"
Okay, it's officially established: his first name is Slippery--which is probably Dutch for Samuel or something--and it evidently carries no negative connotations in the community, since people are hiring him to work in their shroom pits. Okay. Fine. Whatever. It's not like this exchange wasn't ridiculous on several other levels, anyway.
They bid farewell to the foreman and leave the caves. They eat their lunchables, and Toony announces that they aren't very far from the "Catskill Game Farm" and asks if the kids want to see some animals. AND HOW.
The game farm seems like a popular place. They buy tickets and head inside, where Flossie spies a souvenir booth selling, among other things, stupid hats. FLOSSIE WANTS. Bert offers to buy everyone hats, which seems like a generous offer until we read that "the hats were of different colors, and each one had a little white pompon on top." Yes, the book says "pompon;" I have no idea if it's a typo or not.
Flossie stood by a fenced-off area to wait for Bert, who was getting his change. As her brother turned away from the booth, a look of alarm came over his face.
"Look out, Flossie!" he yelled.
Oh, no! Whatever could be the matter? Well, you'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out; Hope has hit us with another of her horrible cliffhangers. Dan Brown, eat your heart out.