(Untitled)
Brad do this. Brad do that. Brad I need ya to do a job. Brad just lay still and let me kick your fucking balls blue! I swear, the bossman is even more demanding then a girl. Hell, he acts lika girl all the time. Letting me do the dirty job. Can't let his pretty hooves get all dirty now, can we? Oh no, hell forbid. Satan, whata wimp. Instead he
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"Dude!" I stared at her for some time and then yanked my arm free. To which? Ow?! Totally! She's like totally ruining my completionthingy! I like worked hard on this pale look y'know? And she's like a total idiot and that be calling herself a Vampire Slayer.
Turning toward her I started to laugh. Hard. "You think I'm a vampire?" I shrieked, pointing at her. "Like hello?! Do I *look* like a vampire?! Totally Ewwwwww by the way!" Wrinkling my pretty little nose I shook my head and made a face.
Ew. Ew! Ew! She thinks I'm a vampire! So NOT! Toasty is a vampire, I'm like not a vampire! "I aint no vampire, you bitch! I *am Unique. Unlike you Doh! There are like hundreds of you now." And they all make a seriously fine meal! Sumthing about Slayer blood alright.
I was like totally ranting and raving about, just getting into the like the swing of things? Y'know? Totally getting my groove on? When there's like this swooshing sound next to my ear. I swear, the asshole nearly missed ME with his playdarts!
Growling, I turned to glare at Brad as he peeked out from the bushes. He totally cheated! Him and his tranqgun for elephants. Hello? She aint no elephant. That's like a total insult. "Asshat!" I yelled at him, giving him the middle finger. "I was totally getting there!"
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Okay.
Let us be serious here for a moment. I mean, come on. She's blond n all, but *how* stupid can you be? What is it that the bossman, that selfish bastard, sees in her? I don't gets it. I totally don't gets it. As in not at all.
Stupid. She has *no* brain. Nothin' but air up there, and that be an insult to the air!
If I had eyebrows I'd have raised them when the dimwit started to laugh at the Slayer. In her words... Deathwish much? Satan, don't I wish. But no, there aint no way she can be killed in the normal way. Trust me! I've tried! When, y'know, when the bossman wasn't the bossman.
Not that I'm bitter or anythin'. Not me.
Selfish bastard.
Sighin', I took my tranqgun, all loaded and ready unlike some brain, and aimed it at the slayer. It was tempin', lemme tell you. Very temptin' to just let her go for a bit. Let the Slayer just slap Bails around and gimme some entertainment. But Bailey? Gets LOUD! And I wasn't dyin' for an audience unlike a certain dimwit.
So I shot her. Dart, right in her arm. Dart, right in her throat. She's a Slayer, I aint takin' no chances. Slowly I got up, not moving from my spot behind the bushes yet, hand on the handle of my sword. Me? Paranoid? Like what gave you that idea? "Will you shut the fuck up?" I hissed at Bailey.
"We don't need no audience. Now pick up your toy and lets get the hell out of here!"
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