welll well wellll.....
Tuesday morning, my day off.
Just ate cereal (hell yeah!), about to take a nap (FUCKYEAH) at 9am.
Yesterday I worked all day, and bianca gave me a ride home so I actually got the chance to catch the remainder of the phils game. I was checking that score left and right as I was working. Chris and I were getting excited and screaming everytime that we smacked the living shit out of that ball.
On my way to work, I had a moderately deep conversation with the woman I love. She's hurting, yet she cannot feel. I understand how she feels, but the plans she was expressing to me, made me feel some type of way. I want to be there for her, I need to be her backbone. She would most likely take it the wrong way. I know she's a very strong woman, and she doesn't need any drugs, or self mutilation to get over something. Her feelings are fading, as are mine.
I think I'm healed from heartbreak now. . . . Thanks to the thirst for alcohol. I drank myself silly 9 days in a row. I really have no room to speak about using substance to get over something.
I still miss her, I think of her wayyy too much, I wish she would realize that she's the most important person in my life, and she holds great value in my brain. I almost envy her for what she can do to someone. So powerful, yet so strong minded. She matters to my grey matter.
In other news, melissa "dumped" me last night. I don't blame her, at all. She said "you're still healing, when you're ready for your relationship life again, let me know.". I didn't want to tell her I was ready for one, just not for her. I'm saving myself for one person, which explains why I haven't done a thing with her, sexually, but it was a fun ride. We did some cute stuff. All is overwith, and we're still friends. Still the same status, still the same plans. Just not cuddling, or sleeping next to each other, or cooking dinner for her every night.
Sooooooo, septa is on strike. Great job, now I have to suffer from my employment, because all of YOU want to go on strike?? This is such a disappointment. I know I'm on my positive path, but a 50$ cab isn't going to do it around her. I need a car, asap. It is my goal, my prize, my trophy. I will win it. I will proceed.
Note to self: enjoy your day:)
Love, kurt :)
Just ate cereal (hell yeah!), about to take a nap (FUCKYEAH) at 9am.
Yesterday I worked all day, and bianca gave me a ride home so I actually got the chance to catch the remainder of the phils game. I was checking that score left and right as I was working. Chris and I were getting excited and screaming everytime that we smacked the living shit out of that ball.
On my way to work, I had a moderately deep conversation with the woman I love. She's hurting, yet she cannot feel. I understand how she feels, but the plans she was expressing to me, made me feel some type of way. I want to be there for her, I need to be her backbone. She would most likely take it the wrong way. I know she's a very strong woman, and she doesn't need any drugs, or self mutilation to get over something. Her feelings are fading, as are mine.
I think I'm healed from heartbreak now. . . . Thanks to the thirst for alcohol. I drank myself silly 9 days in a row. I really have no room to speak about using substance to get over something.
I still miss her, I think of her wayyy too much, I wish she would realize that she's the most important person in my life, and she holds great value in my brain. I almost envy her for what she can do to someone. So powerful, yet so strong minded. She matters to my grey matter.
In other news, melissa "dumped" me last night. I don't blame her, at all. She said "you're still healing, when you're ready for your relationship life again, let me know.". I didn't want to tell her I was ready for one, just not for her. I'm saving myself for one person, which explains why I haven't done a thing with her, sexually, but it was a fun ride. We did some cute stuff. All is overwith, and we're still friends. Still the same status, still the same plans. Just not cuddling, or sleeping next to each other, or cooking dinner for her every night.
Sooooooo, septa is on strike. Great job, now I have to suffer from my employment, because all of YOU want to go on strike?? This is such a disappointment. I know I'm on my positive path, but a 50$ cab isn't going to do it around her. I need a car, asap. It is my goal, my prize, my trophy. I will win it. I will proceed.
Note to self: enjoy your day:)
Love, kurt :)