A picspam is worth 20,000 words.
(Though I'll take 15,000. Beggars =/= choosers.)
The idea behind this post is: if I picspam it, do you think someone will write it? *is very very hopeful*
OK. The story starts with this image:
Then, just add a minor costuming detail... a.k.a. this:
So. Just to be VERY CLEAR and there are no surprises later: this is a STXI Catholic AU. And it's K/S (of course).
Still with me? GOOD.
Our story goes like this:
One day, THIS FINE PIECE OF TEMPTATION walks into priest!Spock's church:
...and, you know, is distracting as hel-... uh, I mean, as HAYLE.
But priest!Spock is nothing if not composed and professional, so after the first, uh, moment of distraction:
...he gets himself together and decides to treat the UNDENIABLY HOT GUY as any other person who walks into his church.
Blah blah expositioncakes. Spock finds out the TEMPTATION MADE FLESH goes by the name of James T. Kirk (naturally, T is for temptation; or possibly tease, Spock can't always decide).
Kirk is a little younger than Spock, arrogant, flirty with everything that moves and most things that don't, and has had quite a colorful life (there are rumors about him being a hustler in his late teens - not the sort of thing a priest should ponder, really).
But he also turns out to be smart and sort of surprisingly kind at random moments, more friendly and less whore-ish than Spock apparently imagines him to be, and - yeah. THIS IS VERY CONFUSING. (Spock endures stoically.)
But THEN, Kirk starts showing up everywhere Spock goes; or so it seems. He finds him in the library and - after being a little confused because Spock is INTENTIONALLY COLD TO HIM:
... Kirk still somehow starts an intense whispered conversation about the book under Spock's arm, and manages to spend most of the afternoon discussing it with him:
(Spock thinks this is insufferable. Sort of.)
Then, Kirk maybe joins the choir and keeps showing up in Spock's office before and after practices...
(where he stands TOO CLOSE)
... and, while Spock is well aware that Kirk charms EVERYBODY he meets, in his very own shameless way...
... he still sometimes suspects that there's something more going on between them, and that is REALLY SCARY and makes Spock feel paranoid and weak and also kinda twelve.
So, whenever Kirk leaves, Spock spends a lot of time sulking in his office with the lights off because God could totally see his hard-on doubt and confusion, which is just plain embarrassing.
(He also prays a lot.)
This goes on for a while, and in time Spock begins to feel... well, mostly in control; he classifies the status as manageable. He and Kirk are friends. They have interesting conversations about faith and fear and the meaning of life and everything (the number 42 included), and Kirk is just being himself; any temptation Spock sees in him is a projection of his own physical weaknesses. Really, it's all about self-control and focus. Spock can totally cope. TOTALLY.
Until one day Spock goes to a church in another neighborhood - where he and other priests occasionally help out and, among other things, take shifts at the confessional - and out of nowhere, KIRK COMES IN FOR A CONFESSION.
AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO IS LISTENING.
Because you see, if Kirk knew who was on the other side of that intricately carved partition, he NEVER would have talked (in such GLORIOUSLY DESCRIPTIVE FILTHY DETAIL) about the many, many, many forbidden things he wants to do with a certain UNNAMED priest. (Spock desperately imagines that Kirk is NOT talking about him. It's called denial; he doesn't like it, but THIS IS AN EMERGENCY OK???)
Fortunately, by the end of the SEEMINGLY ENDLESS confession, Spock's throat is so dry that his voice doesn't sound like his own - so he manages to say his part without revealing his identity. Also, he feels genuinely bad because Kirk is TRULY conflicted over his desire for him. (OMG DESIRE. FOR. HIM.)
(Which, Kirk admits, is kinda new for him. Spock is not surprised.)
Of course, as soon as Spock's shift is over, he heads back home because the way HE feels must be dealt with PROMPTLY. And prayer is just not gonna cut it. Nope - this time, he desperately needs something more, ah, corporeal. Like, say, a bit of self-flagellation:
[NOTE: Picspam management apologizes to viewers for any and all time they might have lost while staring at that curve at the small of ZQ's back. Lost time not refundable. Void where prohibited. Standard ZQ picspamming terms and conditions apply.]
Anyway. Where were we? OH, YES.
Enter ANGST and UST through the freakin' cathedral ROOF and all that other good stuff - y'all know what I'm talking about.
(It's all very bad and very hot, and I'm kinda glad I'm an atheist because I suspect this is the sort of thing that makes people fear hell. Right?)
Kirk continues to attend Spock's church, except he's quieter and more withdrawn (and also more gorgeous than ever ohmigawwwd):
Spock is seriously tortured (and I'd feel so bad for him if this weren't so freakin' hot). Others are beginning to notice, but he's at a point where he doesn't really care. The... problem.. is not going away; he can't find the answers on his own, and he won't talk to anyone else. Other people would influence him one way or another; he needs to figure this out himself.
Until one day, Kirk shows up and tells him that, for PERSONAL REASONS HE CANNOT DISCLOSE, he won't be coming to this church anymore. In fact, he's leaving town.
Spock knows he's supposed to be relieved, but instead, the next day he finds himself walking around in the rain and feeling a little crazed with longing for something he shouldn't want.
... and yet...
... somewhere along the line, he makes some decisions. The kind he doesn't want to examine because that would lead to serious pain, and he needs to postpone that for the time being.
So he packs a bag and goes after Kirk.
JUST LIKE THAT.
It's a little bit like a nervous breakdown, he supposes.
ANYWAY. He gets a hotel room...
... and after making a few calls to mutual friends, finds out where Kirk is working.
OF COURSE, Kirk is a bartender in some dance club. Spock is not a fan of clubs, but he figures it won't be too awkward to go to one since he's not wearing the vestments - this is a civilian, uh, mission.
Kirk is ASTONISHED to see him there, almost angry. Spock says he really needs to talk to him, even though he has no idea what he'd SAY.
Except suddenly, Spock can TELL that Kirk just KNOWS, because something seems to click in his eyes, and... well, if Spock were a sentimental kinda guy, he'd say that the world shifts a bit on its axis from the way Kirk blinks and then LOOKS at him. And Spock is suddenly REALLY nervous.
Kirk tells him his shift ends at 2am and that he'll come to meet Spock at his hotel room. Uh, okey-dokey.
Spock gets out of the club feeling too numb from shock to be properly freaked out.
He waits in his room for what feels like eternity. It's too long, and not long enough, before he hears the knock on the door.
...yeah, he's been thinking about what to say and he's actually quite ready toasljkljalsALSJDKALJSDL
To Spock's tremendous relief, Kirk doesn't say a word, and doesn't let him say a word either. He just walks in, closes and locks the door, and then... reaches out.
And Spock knows, he just KNOWS this can't be wrong, and if it's wrong in this universe then maybe the two of them need to get out there and find another one, because he is NEVER giving this up.
NEVER.
EVER.
*INSERT EPIC SEX SCENE HERE*
(Hey, I'm picspamming with the intent to make people WRITE this stuff. Because I can't do it myself. TRUST ME, IF I COULD? I SO WOULD.)
Epilogue: uh, make up your own. Something something SPACESHIP ENTERPRISE FIVE-YEAR MISSION HO!YAY HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN SPACE!!!
(See? I suck at this stuff.)
*lights cigarette*
Damn. I hope this was half as good for you as it was for me, folks.
Disclaimer!TIEM: This picspam has been brewing in my head for the last month or so, ever since I watched Confession. I don't know of ANY completed priest!Spock fics, I'd give my firstborn for a good manip or some artwork, and if you know of any fannish endeavors along these deliciously blasphemous lines - PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
I'm also HELLA EXCITED about this story - Transfiguration, first chapter posted earlier today - but since I don't read WiPs (my life is a damn tragedy, yo) and have very little idea what these authors are doing, I'm consoling myself with the Catholic AU that lives in my head (and hopefully, now, in yours too). If I'm super lucky, a few of you might get... inspired? And maybe write a scene or two in this 'verse? PRETTY PLEASE???
All images snagged from, uh, all over the place. Mostly the CFine and ZQ fansites, but also various picspam posts on ontd_startrek (they have been a tremendous influence and inspiration, for sure).
That's all I got. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS GOOD NIGHT.
Aaaaaand porn in 3, 2, 1... GO!!!!!!
The idea behind this post is: if I picspam it, do you think someone will write it? *is very very hopeful*
OK. The story starts with this image:
Then, just add a minor costuming detail... a.k.a. this:
So. Just to be VERY CLEAR and there are no surprises later: this is a STXI Catholic AU. And it's K/S (of course).
Still with me? GOOD.
Our story goes like this:
One day, THIS FINE PIECE OF TEMPTATION walks into priest!Spock's church:
...and, you know, is distracting as hel-... uh, I mean, as HAYLE.
But priest!Spock is nothing if not composed and professional, so after the first, uh, moment of distraction:
...he gets himself together and decides to treat the UNDENIABLY HOT GUY as any other person who walks into his church.
Blah blah expositioncakes. Spock finds out the TEMPTATION MADE FLESH goes by the name of James T. Kirk (naturally, T is for temptation; or possibly tease, Spock can't always decide).
Kirk is a little younger than Spock, arrogant, flirty with everything that moves and most things that don't, and has had quite a colorful life (there are rumors about him being a hustler in his late teens - not the sort of thing a priest should ponder, really).
But he also turns out to be smart and sort of surprisingly kind at random moments, more friendly and less whore-ish than Spock apparently imagines him to be, and - yeah. THIS IS VERY CONFUSING. (Spock endures stoically.)
But THEN, Kirk starts showing up everywhere Spock goes; or so it seems. He finds him in the library and - after being a little confused because Spock is INTENTIONALLY COLD TO HIM:
... Kirk still somehow starts an intense whispered conversation about the book under Spock's arm, and manages to spend most of the afternoon discussing it with him:
(Spock thinks this is insufferable. Sort of.)
Then, Kirk maybe joins the choir and keeps showing up in Spock's office before and after practices...
(where he stands TOO CLOSE)
... and, while Spock is well aware that Kirk charms EVERYBODY he meets, in his very own shameless way...
... he still sometimes suspects that there's something more going on between them, and that is REALLY SCARY and makes Spock feel paranoid and weak and also kinda twelve.
So, whenever Kirk leaves, Spock spends a lot of time sulking in his office with the lights off because God could totally see his hard-on doubt and confusion, which is just plain embarrassing.
(He also prays a lot.)
This goes on for a while, and in time Spock begins to feel... well, mostly in control; he classifies the status as manageable. He and Kirk are friends. They have interesting conversations about faith and fear and the meaning of life and everything (the number 42 included), and Kirk is just being himself; any temptation Spock sees in him is a projection of his own physical weaknesses. Really, it's all about self-control and focus. Spock can totally cope. TOTALLY.
Until one day Spock goes to a church in another neighborhood - where he and other priests occasionally help out and, among other things, take shifts at the confessional - and out of nowhere, KIRK COMES IN FOR A CONFESSION.
AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO IS LISTENING.
Because you see, if Kirk knew who was on the other side of that intricately carved partition, he NEVER would have talked (in such GLORIOUSLY DESCRIPTIVE FILTHY DETAIL) about the many, many, many forbidden things he wants to do with a certain UNNAMED priest. (Spock desperately imagines that Kirk is NOT talking about him. It's called denial; he doesn't like it, but THIS IS AN EMERGENCY OK???)
Fortunately, by the end of the SEEMINGLY ENDLESS confession, Spock's throat is so dry that his voice doesn't sound like his own - so he manages to say his part without revealing his identity. Also, he feels genuinely bad because Kirk is TRULY conflicted over his desire for him. (OMG DESIRE. FOR. HIM.)
(Which, Kirk admits, is kinda new for him. Spock is not surprised.)
Of course, as soon as Spock's shift is over, he heads back home because the way HE feels must be dealt with PROMPTLY. And prayer is just not gonna cut it. Nope - this time, he desperately needs something more, ah, corporeal. Like, say, a bit of self-flagellation:
[NOTE: Picspam management apologizes to viewers for any and all time they might have lost while staring at that curve at the small of ZQ's back. Lost time not refundable. Void where prohibited. Standard ZQ picspamming terms and conditions apply.]
Anyway. Where were we? OH, YES.
Enter ANGST and UST through the freakin' cathedral ROOF and all that other good stuff - y'all know what I'm talking about.
(It's all very bad and very hot, and I'm kinda glad I'm an atheist because I suspect this is the sort of thing that makes people fear hell. Right?)
Kirk continues to attend Spock's church, except he's quieter and more withdrawn (and also more gorgeous than ever ohmigawwwd):
Spock is seriously tortured (and I'd feel so bad for him if this weren't so freakin' hot). Others are beginning to notice, but he's at a point where he doesn't really care. The... problem.. is not going away; he can't find the answers on his own, and he won't talk to anyone else. Other people would influence him one way or another; he needs to figure this out himself.
Until one day, Kirk shows up and tells him that, for PERSONAL REASONS HE CANNOT DISCLOSE, he won't be coming to this church anymore. In fact, he's leaving town.
Spock knows he's supposed to be relieved, but instead, the next day he finds himself walking around in the rain and feeling a little crazed with longing for something he shouldn't want.
... and yet...
... somewhere along the line, he makes some decisions. The kind he doesn't want to examine because that would lead to serious pain, and he needs to postpone that for the time being.
So he packs a bag and goes after Kirk.
JUST LIKE THAT.
It's a little bit like a nervous breakdown, he supposes.
ANYWAY. He gets a hotel room...
... and after making a few calls to mutual friends, finds out where Kirk is working.
OF COURSE, Kirk is a bartender in some dance club. Spock is not a fan of clubs, but he figures it won't be too awkward to go to one since he's not wearing the vestments - this is a civilian, uh, mission.
Kirk is ASTONISHED to see him there, almost angry. Spock says he really needs to talk to him, even though he has no idea what he'd SAY.
Except suddenly, Spock can TELL that Kirk just KNOWS, because something seems to click in his eyes, and... well, if Spock were a sentimental kinda guy, he'd say that the world shifts a bit on its axis from the way Kirk blinks and then LOOKS at him. And Spock is suddenly REALLY nervous.
Kirk tells him his shift ends at 2am and that he'll come to meet Spock at his hotel room. Uh, okey-dokey.
Spock gets out of the club feeling too numb from shock to be properly freaked out.
He waits in his room for what feels like eternity. It's too long, and not long enough, before he hears the knock on the door.
...yeah, he's been thinking about what to say and he's actually quite ready toasljkljalsALSJDKALJSDL
To Spock's tremendous relief, Kirk doesn't say a word, and doesn't let him say a word either. He just walks in, closes and locks the door, and then... reaches out.
And Spock knows, he just KNOWS this can't be wrong, and if it's wrong in this universe then maybe the two of them need to get out there and find another one, because he is NEVER giving this up.
NEVER.
EVER.
*INSERT EPIC SEX SCENE HERE*
(Hey, I'm picspamming with the intent to make people WRITE this stuff. Because I can't do it myself. TRUST ME, IF I COULD? I SO WOULD.)
Epilogue: uh, make up your own. Something something SPACESHIP ENTERPRISE FIVE-YEAR MISSION HO!YAY HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN SPACE!!!
(See? I suck at this stuff.)
*lights cigarette*
Damn. I hope this was half as good for you as it was for me, folks.
Disclaimer!TIEM: This picspam has been brewing in my head for the last month or so, ever since I watched Confession. I don't know of ANY completed priest!Spock fics, I'd give my firstborn for a good manip or some artwork, and if you know of any fannish endeavors along these deliciously blasphemous lines - PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
I'm also HELLA EXCITED about this story - Transfiguration, first chapter posted earlier today - but since I don't read WiPs (my life is a damn tragedy, yo) and have very little idea what these authors are doing, I'm consoling myself with the Catholic AU that lives in my head (and hopefully, now, in yours too). If I'm super lucky, a few of you might get... inspired? And maybe write a scene or two in this 'verse? PRETTY PLEASE???
All images snagged from, uh, all over the place. Mostly the CFine and ZQ fansites, but also various picspam posts on ontd_startrek (they have been a tremendous influence and inspiration, for sure).
That's all I got. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS GOOD NIGHT.
Aaaaaand porn in 3, 2, 1... GO!!!!!!