GHOSTS OF SEASONS PAST - J2 - PG 13 - 2/2
Title: Ghosts of Seasons Past. Part Two
Author: Zenamydog
Rating: PG 13
Fandom: Supernatural/Real
Characters/Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Warnings: Nope none, apart from its J2. *grins*
Beta: Formally jdSampson Now just my best friend!
Disclaimer: Not Real Folks!
AN: April 2012 was the last time I wrote a story, I am hoping I still have it, so please be kind.
Summary: Set just after the filming of the iconic 300th episode and before the official announcement of a 15th season.
Jeff wants to hang around for a few days and so all 3 J’s hire a cabin in the woods. They get into a bar fight, Jared gets lost in the woods and Jared and Jensen need to work out how their past feeling are effecting them now. If they don’t, there may not be a season 15.
Jensen yawned and rolled onto his side. His eyes widened after he opened them. They must have fallen asleep, because he was still on Jared’s bed. Jared? He grabbed his jeans and pulled them on. He didn’t actually remember taking them off in the first place, but... He moved quickly out into the living space where Jeff was sitting on the couch looking at his phone.
“Sleep well?” Jeff asked and briefly looked up.
“Where’s Jared?” Jensen had to force himself from sounding panicked.
“Outside.” Jeff gestured towards the door. “Nice day, which at this time of year means not freezing, but sun’s out. He’s been up for a couple of hours. Wanted to get some fresh air.”
Jensen sighed with relief. “He look alright?”
“Yeah, he looked fine,” Jeff said a little dismissively. “Well as fine as he can be, concussion and very little sleep. About the same as you,” he added for good measure.
“Yeah, thanks,” Jensen said with no heat and moved towards the kitchen. “Coffeeeee,” he groaned.
“Think his back could probably use some antibiotics though,” Jeff called out from the other room.
Jensen switched on the coffee machine. He was glad the kitchen was stocked. God, he hated instant. He had been so wrapped up worried about Jared’s head injury, he’d forgotten about the splinters. “How’d you know about that?” Jensen called back, watching the coffee start to drip into the mug. There was no answer and Jensen finished brewing the black liquid he was so desperately craving.
“Jeff?” he said as he walked back into the living area.
Jeff was frowning and scrolling through his phone. “This is not good.”
“What?” Jensen was confused. He sat down on the opposite couch and sipped at the coffee. “What’s not good?”
Jeff hit the centre of his phone and then turned the screen towards Jensen.
Jensen heard Jared’s voice, but the camera wasn’t on him. “Well maybe you could get your own beer once and a while,” and then Jensen watched the roundhouse punch. There was the sound of wood breaking and Jensen’s eyes widened when he saw himself launch forward to deck the guy who’d punched Jared.
“Oh, no.” Jensen watched in disbelief. “You’re fucking kidding me,” he said as it zoomed in on Jared, lying on top of the smashed table. He felt his stomach drop. It was only a moment of film, but Jensen could tell straight away that Jared had lied. He had lost consciousness, albeit for only a few seconds.
“Yeah, I had a feeling... thought I saw them recording, but I was hoping...” Jeff gave him a look of apology.
“You knew this was caught on camera?” Jensen asked angrily.
“Hey,” Jeff responded with an authority in his voice. “I wasn’t sure, but look on the bright side. It could have ended up on the news. Be grateful it’s just Facebook.”
Jensen took another sip of his coffee before saying something he’d regret. What era was Jeff from anyway? It wasn’t Jeff’s fault they ran into 2 douche bags and someone filmed it, but social media was worse... much worse. News was on and then gone. This was going to be shared and shared and then shared again. He could only imagine the kind of questions they were going to get at the next convention.
“I’ve already called, Hilarie,” Jeff informed. “You should probably call Danneel and let her know not to worry.”
“Shit...” Jensen looked at the door. “Has Jared got his phone?” Not so much of a coincidence, but a second later a phone started ringing from the bedroom. Jensen knew instantly it wasn’t his. “Guess not,” he said as he stood and went to grab it. He didn’t make it in time, because he couldn’t find it. It was in Jared’s jean pocket, which kind of made Jensen wonder what Jared was wearing right now. And yes... of course it was a missed call from Genevieve. In the time it took him to contemplate taking the phone out to Jared, it rang again. He swiped the arrow up instantly and put the phone to his ear.
“Hey, Gen, it’s Jensen.”
“Oh my God, where’s Jared? Is he okay? My friend sent me the video. You got into a fight? I knew he shouldn’t have gone with you guys. Jesus! What happened? Where is he?”
“Calm down, Gen... Seriously, Jared’s fine. He’s just outside getting some air.” Jensen walked out of the bedroom and towards the door. “He left his phone in his jeans; it’s why he didn’t pick up.”
“How can he be fine, Jensen, he got knocked out?” Genevieve’s tone was both worried and accusing.
“Look, he got a bit of a concussion, but---,”
“A concussion... and he’s still there? Why didn’t you take him to a hospital? You should have called me!”
“I’m sorry, Gen...” Jensen felt really bad. She was right. Especially now he knew Jared had blacked out. “He wouldn’t let---,”
“Just put him on,” Genevieve said by way of an order. “I want to speak to my husband.”
Jensen sucked in a breath and walked through the door. He took a few steps down the pathway and looked around. Oh crap... “He must have gone for a walk, Gen, he’s not here.”
“Well, where is he?”
Jensen rolled his eyes. He wanted to scream into the phone, I don’t fucking know... he went for a walk, but he held his tongue. “As soon as he comes back I’ll get him to call you, okay?”
Jensen heard Genevieve sigh loudly. “Look... Jensen, I’m sorry... I don’t mean to be... I’m just worried.”
Jensen understood. He realized he really did need to ring Danneel as soon as he got off the call. “That’s okay, Gen. Pinkie promise, the moment I see him, I’ll dial your number and put the phone to his ear.”
“Pinkie promise?” It was a real question, but not about Jared calling her.
“Sorry, JJ says it all the time.” Jensen could feel the tension ease.
“Okay, well... the moment he gets back, okay?”
“Will do,” Jensen said. “Bye.”
Jensen looked at the phone for a minute and for a moment contemplated going inside to grab his own phone, but instead he manually dialed Danneel.
“Hey, Jared?” Danneel said when she answered. She sounded surprised and a little hesitant.
“Hey, Baby, it’s me.”
“Oh, Jen... You had me worried there for a moment. What’s happened to your phone?”
From the tone and the question, Jensen knew straight away that she had no idea what had occurred the night before. “My phone’s fine, but I’m using Jared’s phone because I couldn’t wait to talk to you and mines in the cabin.”
“Okayyyyy.... That’s... sweet, I guess.” Jensen could hear her confusion. “You miss me that much, huh?”
“No... I mean, yes, but...” Jensen shook his head. It threw him that Danneel didn’t already know and he would need to explain. “So, here’s the thing... It’s all over social media, I’m surprised you haven’t seen it or Genevieve hasn’t called.”
“What’s all over social media?” There was now worry in her tone.
“So... we kind of got into a bar fight last night and...” He gestured ‘stop/stay calm’ by patting the air. ... before you think the worst, everyone’s fine, okay. These two fucking idiots recognised us and picked the fight. Jared got knocked out, only he said he didn’t, but that’s okay, he’s okay, we’re all fine, but there’s a video and Genevieve panicked, but Jared went for a walk and I took his phone out to him, but he’s not here and that’s why I have his phone, but I needed to call you, because I didn’t want you to worry like Gen did, which... you know, I don’t blame her. She was mad, and I did stop him from going for a walk, but that was last night and he was---,”
“Jen, stop. Take a breath.” There was a beat of silence. “So basically you got into a fist fight and someone filmed and uploaded it and Gen saw it before Jared told her about it and now she’s upset?”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, so... I’m really glad you called... I can only imagine what seeing this on social media would have... I understand why she’s mad, Jensen.”
“We had no idea someone recorded it. Jeff did, but he didn’t say anything, but he wasn’t sure, so...”
“Not the point, Jensen. Jared should have called her and... well... you could have called me earlier, too.”
“I’m sorry, Danny... really, I... we just didn’t think.”
“Its fine ...” Danneel’s tone softened. “Everyone is okay, right?”
“Yeah.” Jensen looked at his hand. “I’ve got a bruised knuckle and Jared’s got a concussion, but it’s only mild.”
Danneel took in a long breath. “I better call Gen; she’s probably over thinking it all.”
“No probably about it,” Jensen quipped.
“Okay... I love you. I’ll give you a call in a few hours. Are you going to come back early?”
Jensen furrowed his brow, he hadn’t thought about it. “Not sure yet. I’ll let you know. I love you, too... Bye.”
“Bye.”
Jensen disconnected the call and immediately looked around again for Jared. It was... yes it was just a ‘mild’ concussion.
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Jared sat by the lake and watched as the frozen water started to melt under the mild sunlight. The scenery was breathtaking. Tree’s covered in icicles that made the green of the leaves glisten and shiny. The air was crisp as he breathed it in and it helped the throb in the side of his head. He was vaguely aware he shouldn’t still have a headache, but the thought was fleeting. He must have walked quite a long way, because the path he had been on was not in sight. He checked his watch and realized he’d been gone for at least an hour. He should get back, mother-hen Jensen would start to worry, he thought, but it was so nice to sit and hear nothing but the rustle of the branches and an occasional tweet from a bird. Still... he should call and check in. He reached for his back pocket and then patted the other one. Crap... he’d changed jeans and he’d not grabbed his phone.
With that Jared stood up and then abruptly sat down back down again as a wave of nausea hit. He felt like he wanted to be sick, but thank god he wasn’t. He waited a few minutes and took in deep soothing breaths. “Just get up slowly”, he said to himself. “You just got up too fast.” As he got to his feet the second time and looked around, he furrowed his brow. Where was that pathway?
Jared started to walk up the small incline away from the lake and tried to get his bearings. When he got to the top, there was still no familiar pathway, so going left or right was an equal tossup. “Shit,” he said out loud. Why the hell did he forget his phone? Okay... he went left and just started walking as he looked for something familiar. He could only pray he wasn’t walking away from the cabin.
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Jensen sat down and turned on the TV. He was surprised at how good the reception was, so far out. He had a drink in his hand, but not a coffee this time. He chugged the first beer down and instantly thought about getting up to get another, but Jeff was in the kitchen on the phone. He could only hear Jeff’s side of the conversation, but it sounded like he was talking to his agent and he didn’t sound too pleased.
“I signed that contract months ago, Rob. If they want to pull out, fine, but don’t expect me to end up empty handed.”
There was a brief silence and Jensen could see from the corner of his eye, Jeff was pacing. He didn’t want to eavesdrop, but they were in pretty close quarters.
“What do you mean, in a week? Like I said, if they want to void the contract... no, I didn’t say that.” Jeff huffed. “No to that, too, Rob. Hilarie and the kids are coming. I can’t get there in time for that.” There was silence and Jeff sighed. “Look, Rob, I don’t care about any fucking contract clauses, that’s what I pay you for, besides... I want to do this other thing!”
Jensen frowned. He wouldn’t want to be Rob right now. He stared at the television, but he wasn’t really watching it. His mind kept slipping back to the night before. As much as he fought it, the sense memory of holding Jared in a vertical position, weighed on his mind. Jared had been gone over two hours now and Jensen was starting to get a bad feeling. No... He did a little self-talk and told himself not to worry. Jared was a big boy and they’d both slept for a few hours. Jared woke up, so that meant he was fine, right?
“Ahhh, shit,” Jeff said as he flopped down on the couch adjacent to him. He had a beer in his hand, screwed the top off and drank it in one motion.
“What’s up?” Jensen asked. “Something with the gig down under?”
Jeff nodded. “They want me there early. Which doesn’t sound like a biggy, but it totally conflicts with the final Winchester reunion.”
“Oh,” Jensen reacted more than spoke. If the show was going to end, then he really wanted ‘John’ to be a part of it, as much for the fans sake as his own. “Well that sucks.”
“I’d feel better if you told me what’s going on with it. Have you and Jared decided?”
Jensen pursed his lips. “Not exactly.”
“Because you want to leave and Jared doesn’t?” Jeff said matter-of-factly.
Jensen looked at Jeff critically. “Yeah, how did you know that?”
Jeff’s lips tilted upwards in a sideway grin. “I warned you the walls were paper thin.”
Jensen nodded. He was a little uncomfortable at that. “I don’t get it, actually.” He shrugged. “There was a period back there...” He thought for a moment. “Must have been season 7 or 8, where all Jared could talk about was getting out. I really had to reel him back in. Get him to understand the craft again. Admittedly, he was in a bad head-space, but it took a lot. He was up for Hercules or Conan the Barbarian or something.” Jensen tried to remember and then dismissed it. “Anyhow, he wanted to do other shit. Now it’s reversed. I want to get on with it.”
“You want to get on with it?” Jeff asked, but his face told Jensen it wasn’t truly a question.
“Yeah,” Jensen answered and returned Jeff’s stare.
“And Jared doesn’t want to leave, because...?” Jeff took another drink from his beer. “You think he’s got nothing to go to? He’s worried about getting work? What?”
Jensen felt a small blush rise in his cheeks, but he wasn’t entirely sure why. “I’m sure that’s part of it.”
“Me, too,” Jeff acknowledged as he got up from his couch. “Part of it, at least.” He gave Jensen a questioning look as he tipped the bottle to his mouth and drank the last drops. “Want another?” he asked as he scooted past Jensen and grabbed his empty bottle.
“Yeah, why not,” Jensen replied. There was the sound of clinking when Jeff tossed the empty beer bottles into the bin and then he was handing him the next beer and sitting down again a moment later.
“Speaking of which...” Jeff again unscrewed and drank. “Jared’s been gone for a while now.”
“Yeah... Trust him to forget his phone.” Jensen furrowed his brow. “Do you think we should go look for him?”
“Give him another hour or so. If he’s not back, we’ll take a drive up the road, take a look. I hope he’s back soon, though. Wouldn’t mind doing a little fishing.”
Jensen grinned. “It’s probably been at least 10 years since I picked up a rod. Jared and I went camping and we hired this tiny little row boat out on Burnaby Lake. It was so funny,” he laughed. “Jared caught something.” He laughed again and shook his head. “To this day we don’t know what it was, ‘cause he stood up to reel it in and the whole thing tipped. We both ended up in the drink. Lucky it wasn’t that deep, but I remember Jared’s face as we watched the rod skim across the top of the water, being pulled by god knows what.”
“Too, funny,” Jeff laughed too. “He is such a goof ball that guy. Boating 101, you don’t stand up in a row boat.”
“And it gets better.” Jensen drank more of his beer with the same smile on his face. He could feel the alcohol starting to take hold. “We couldn’t friggen get the boat to turn back over, no matter what we tried and I remember...” Jensen finished his beer. “Jared rescued one of the oars and climbed on top of this upside down boat and told me to hop on because he would row us back to shore. Thing was... I did get on.”
Jeff laughed loudly. “Were you drunk?”
“No... Boating 101... don’t go on the water drunk.” He gestured with his hand. “A little high, maybe, but... we ended up pushing the boat in. Owner wasn’t too happy, I tell ya.”
The next hour went by quickly with the help of another 3 or 4 beers, hilarious stories and outright distraction. Jensen was relaxed, something he hadn’t been for quite a while.
There was a shrilling sound and Jeff grabbed his phone from the inside pocket of his jacket. He shook his head and his face held a combination of disappointment and anger.
“Rob?” Jensen asked.
Jeff nodded and then read the text out loud. “Hey, Jeff... Just want to let you know we are still working on the job conflict. Know you want to do this SPN thing, but they are still talking about invoking the clause in your contract. Will keep you up-to-date.” He put his phone back into his pocket and sighed. “You know it would really help, Jensen if you and Jared could get yourselves on the same page.”
Jensen knew it wasn’t meant as an affront, but it made him pause. “You’re not the only one, Jeff. I mean... I’d do another season if it means that much to him. I just don’t understand why.”
Jeff shook his head and looked at him. There was a condescending look in his eyes. “You do know he wants to stay, for exactly the same reason you want to go, don’t you?”
Jensen frowned. “And what’s that?”
Jeff took in a breath and sat back in the couch, guzzling the last of his beer. “Well... I’ll tell you, but first you have to answer a question.” His face turned serious. “And you have to be honest.”
“Okay,” Jensen said a little hesitantly.
“You and Jared were lovers for what... 2 or 3 years... Why did it stop?”
Jensen raised his eyebrows. Of everything Jeff might have asked, he was totally not expecting a question like that. “What the fuck has that got to do with anything?”
“Just answer the question,” Jeff said in a frustrated tone.
Jensen didn’t understand. He didn’t really want to understand as the word lover looped in his head. Jeff had known about them back then, hell he’d even covered for them more than once, but why was he bringing it up now? Sure he was always a stirrer, but this was serious... and very personal. Still... the question did make him think and he had to actually think hard. “I... I don’t really know. It just did. Gen started playing Ruby and it was clear Jared liked her. I had started seeing Danny and...” He shrugged. “We kind of just stopped.” He gestured. “The physical stuff just didn’t happen anymore.”
“Did you ever talk about it?”
It took a second for Jensen to realize they hadn’t. “No,” he said simply.
“So you think all those feelings just stopped, too?”
Jensen felt very uncomfortable and his frustration level was starting to rise. In fact, he was starting to feel quite angry. “What the fuck, Jeff?” Jensen leaned forward. “So you think that this is some sort of stupid bullshit unrequited love thing?”
Jeff’s eyes softened as he shifted forward to meet Jensen’s stare. His was voice low and serious, “No, Jensen... I think this is some sort of stupid bullshit unresolved love thing.”
That word stopped Jensen in his tracks and all his anger drained as he swallowed hard. It took a good 30 seconds for him to get his thoughts to stop spinning and he knew he had paled.
“Like I said... Him staying, you leaving... It’s for the same reason. It was a lot of seasons ago, I know, but those ghosts don’t always move on without a little push.”
Jensen looked up at the clock and it was the distraction he needed to be able to think again. “You know what. Jared should have been back by now.” He stood and headed to the bedroom to get his coat. “I’m going to look for him.” He came out and went to the kitchen to grab a couple of bottles of water and put them into his large coat pockets. When he walked back to the lounge area Jeff was putting on his own coat.
“You’re right,” Jeff said, picking up his car keys. “It’s been a bit too long, even for nature loving Jared.”
“You’re not driving, Jeff. You’re drunk.” He paused. “Hell, we both are. You stay here and call me if he comes back. I’ll go on foot.” With that Jensen walked out of the door, not giving Jeff a chance to respond. He walked down the path, almost grateful Jared wasn’t there and he had a reason to get out of the room. Jeff had really hit a nerve and Jensen’s conscious brain, really didn’t want to deal with it.
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Jensen had walked 2 different trails, both leading to the lake, but there was no sign of Jared. His mind kept going to dark places, of Jared hurt of unconscious, so he couldn’t believe his eyes when returning from the third trail he saw Jared in the distance. He looked dishevelled and as Jensen got closer, he thought Jared looked pale and confused. He was still some distance and Jared started to walk away, so it was clear he hadn’t seen him.
“Jared!” Jensen screamed out and started to move forward.
Jared turned. “Jen?”
It was life imitating art, because the moment Jared saw him he dropped to his knees and Jensen started to run full speed, ‘no!’ was echoing in his head. Season 2, episode 22, All Hell Breaks Loose.
Jensen slid to his knees in front of Jared, just as he had in that scene. “Hey, hey... Jay?” He put his hand to Jared’s cheek. He seriously needed to remind himself that Jared hadn’t just been stabbed in the back and he wasn’t about to die in his arms. The similarity was eerie.
“Hey, Jen,” Jared said weakly. “I got lost.”
A small smile tilted Jensen’s lips upwards. “No shit, Sherlock,” he teased and instinctively drew Jared into a hug. “It’s okay. I got you.”
They stayed like that for a few moments and then Jensen pulled away, taking a good look at Jared’s pupils. He stood and helped Jared to his feet, guiding him to one of the large trees. He sat Jared down to lean against it and pulled out a bottle of water, opened the top and handed it to him.
Jared gulped the water down and it was gone in a few seconds. “Thanks,” he said and put the bottle beside him.
Jensen pulled the other bottle out and offered it to Jared, but he waved it away. “No no... I just need to rest for a few minutes.” He looked around and then back to Jensen who had sat down in front of him. “I turned left instead of right, got totally confused and finally decided to double back. How far are we from the cabin?”
“About 10, maybe 15 minutes walk.”
Jared grunted a humourless laugh. “I was starting to get a little worried. There were a few moments there where I thought I was actually going to...” Jared stopped and just shook his head. “Doesn’t matter, it’s stupid.”
“Die?” Jensen finished the sentence for him. “It’s not stupid, Jared. People do get lost and die in terrain like this.” He reached out and tapped Jared on the head in a playful way. “Especially if they’ve had a concussion.”
There was a look between them, one of thank you and you scared me that made the air thick with something Jensen couldn’t quite name. The only thing he could think of to say came out before he had the sense to stop it. “I’ll tell you what is stupid. Jeff thinks the reason we can’t decide on season 15 is because we still have feeling for each other.”
Jared blinked and it looked to be in slow motion.
“That is stupid, right?” Jensen really wanted Jared to confirm it.
Jared shifted to place his hand behind Jensen’s neck. He pulled Jensen too him and Jensen didn’t resist. Their lips touched and the passion was instant. Their mouths opened and their tongues did an all too familiar dance. It was deep and bruising and the arousal came only seconds later. Jensen didn’t resist, he didn’t want to. If he was honest with himself, he’d thought about this more than once. Jeff was right, at least in part. It was crazy and contradictory, but the thought of not seeing Jared every day did make him want to put distance between them. It wasn’t until they had laid down and Jared was on top of him that he paused to think about what was happening. He could feel the heat in his cheeks and the hardness in his groin. It felt so good, so natural, but...
Jensen broke the kiss. He was panting hard and so was Jared. “Jay...” he said, almost apologetically. “I’m crazy in love with my wife.”
Jared didn’t move, he just stared down at Jensen, their gaze was full of love, but it was also full of acceptance. “Me, too,” he said and then rolled off to sit with his back to Jensen. “I’m sorry. I...” He let out a huge sigh. “Gen and the kids are my world, too.”
Jensen didn’t know what to say, what to do, so he shifted the few inches it took to lay his head on the back of Jared’s shoulder. They stayed there in silence for what seemed like an eternity and yet it seemed way too short. The calm and peace was broken by the vibration of Jensen’s phone in his pocket.
“Hey, Jeff. I found him. He got lost,” Jensen said as soon as he answered.
“Well thank fuck for that,” Jeff said curtly, but there was relief in his tone. “You’d better get back here. Gen’s been calling and she’s threatening to catch the next flight to Vancouver. CW is in frenzy, too.”
“Shit.” Jensen glanced at his phone. 6 missed calls, 4 from Genevieve. How the hell hadn’t he felt that? Oh wait... that’s right. He was in the throes of passion with her husband. “Sorry... it was on silent. I’ll get him to call her right now. Bye.” Jensen quickly bought Gen’s number up on the screen and thrust the phone towards Jared. “Talk to her.”
Jared frowned almost comically and took the phone. “Now?”
“Yes, now, or she’s going to fly out here.”
“What? Why?” Jared asked, but Jensen leaned over and swiped the phone.
“I pinkie promised,” Jensen said with an apologetic look on his face and Genevieve answered almost immediately.
“Jensen?”
“No, hi... it’s me, Honey.”
“You two, really got to stop swapping phones,” Gen responded, but didn’t wait for Jared to say anything. “Are you okay? Why the hell has it taken you so long to call me back? I was so worried! Jesus, Jared... Didn’t you know I’d be going crazy? I was about to fly up there.” There was a pause of silence. “Anyhow,” Genevieve’s tone was still sharp. “How’s your head?”
“Ahhh...” Jared gave him a confused look, but the phone was loud enough, so Jensen could hear Gen and knew why.
“Your concussion,” he mouthed, barely audible, pointing to his own head.
“Umm... I’m not sure what Jensen told you, but he was exaggerating.” Jared was clearly blabbing. He looked at him with a larger question in his eyes. Why on earth had Jensen told his wife he had a concussion? “Seriously, Honey. It was just a little knock.”
“A little knock?” Gen’s voice rose again and this time it held real anger. “You can see you were knocked out. The video’s gone viral on Facebook and its freaking trending on Twitter. Your mom has been calling, your sister... The studio is freaking out, trying to run damage control. I can’t believe you didn’t call them, either.”
Oh shit... Jensen’s eyes widened and he face palmed. He hadn’t said anything about the video. He quickly gestured, punching the air and then of someone filming.
“You’re kidding,” Jared mouthed, a look of disbelief on his face.
Jensen scrunched up his face. “No.”
“Viral, huh...” Jared tried to make light of it.
“Yes, viral. What did you expect? It’s not every day you see Sam Winchester get knocked unconscious for real.”
“Hey,” Jared continued to play it down. “Look on the bright side. Can’t remember ever trending.”
Jensen raised an eyebrow and grinned. Probably not the way to go, but the guy had balls.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Jared,” Gen was now screaming. “Do you have any idea...”
Okay... Definitely not the way to go. Jensen got up and walked out of hearing range. It was never fun when your wife dressed you down. Mind you, Jensen couldn’t really blame her, except he felt bad because it was kind of his fault and Gen wasn’t going to let Jared off lightly. He watched Jared’s conversation from a distance, and had to admit he found it a little bit funny. The poor guy was clearly getting an ear full. Jared finally hung up a few minutes later, got up and started to walk toward him. He still looked pale, but Jensen wasn’t sure if that was due to the concussion, dehydration or his wife.
“Not happy, huh?” Jensen asked rhetorically.
“Nope, she’s livid.” He looked at Jensen questioningly. “Why didn’t you tell me about the video?”
“It slipped my mind, sorry.”
“It slipped your mind?” Jared frowned. “Don’t you think---,”
“Jay,” Jensen interrupted and looked passed Jared to where they had been sitting under the tree. “I was a little distracted.”
Jared followed his line of sight and calmed down straight away. “Distracted, right... sorry.” He smiled weakly.
“You think you’re up for the walk back to the cabin?”
“No problem.”
They both quickly fell into step beside each other and the silence was easy. There was no pressure to make idle chatter as they wandered down the road towards the cabin. It was what Jensen loved about being Jared’s friend. He had said it before, many times. Jared was the person he spent more time with than any other person on earth and that included his family. It came with perks. The comfort of being around each other was absolute. Jensen nodded to himself as that thought hit. He knew he needed to break that silence.
“I think we should do another season,” he said out of the blue and Jared stopped dead in his tracks.
Jared’s eyebrows rose. “You do?”
“Yeah, Jay, I do. A final season... Maybe 20 eps, like this year. Wrap it all up in a nice little bow. Then everyone can get use to the idea and be prepared that it’s going to end.”
Jared nodded and then laughed.
“What?” Jensen couldn’t help but grin.
“Fan’s a going to have a field day trying to save us, you know that, right?”
It was Jensen’s turn to laugh. “Maybe we’ll get 30 seconds in Time Square, like Shadow Hunters.” There was a beat of silence and the smile slid slowly from Jensen’s lips. “You know,” he said and swallowed hard. “They are going to fight for us to stay and that means...”
Jared reacted to the changed on Jensen’s face and the sudden crack in his voice. “Jen?”
“I think, maybe...” He let out a huffed breath. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell the fans about it being our last year, just yet.”
“Okay...” Jared looked confused and a little concerned. “Why not?”
“Well, unless the CW tells them all we’ve been cancelled, we’re going to have to be honest and say we chose to end it.”
Jared shrugged, still not understanding. “So? We just tell them we want to do other projects.”
And here he was again, going to a place he had spent years keeping compartmentalized. “When I said... get use to it. Be prepared... I was talking more about us, Jay. You and me...” Jensen looked for comprehension in Jared’s eyes. “I’m not ready to have hysterical girls sobbing and asking emotional questions every convention, like, how much are we going to miss each other.”
“Okay.” Jared smiled sadly. “... but can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” Jensen said as he started to walk and Jared again fell into step beside him.
“What... what changed your mind about 15?”
Jensen thought about it for a few steps before he answered, “I guess... well I have an analytical mind, always have. Leaving this season would be a... you know... a business decision, but 1 more year won’t make that much difference and... After all this time, it shouldn’t be rushed. It’ll give the CW, the writers etc. the opportunity to plan it right.” He glanced at Jared. “Including us,” he added softly.
“I like that idea,” Jared said with a small grin. “But...” Jared’s face changed and there was doubt, mixed with a splash of guilt in his eyes. “I don’t want to hold you back, Jen. If you’re just doing it for me, then I---,”
Jensen stopped walking again and grabbed Jared’s elbow to get him to stop, too. He needed to look at him when he said this. He needed Jared to not wonder or second guess what he was about to say. “Yes I am,” he said.
“What?” Jared looked crushed, even though he had asked the question.
“Yes I’m doing this for you, but I’m also doing it for me, Jared. You asked what changed my mind. The truth...” Jensen felt heat rise in his cheeks, but he had to finally get the pink elephant out of the room. “It was that kiss. It flooded me with stuff I know I haven’t dealt with. Jeff said you wanted to stay and I wanted to go for exactly the same reason and he was right.”
Jared looked taken aback. “Jeff?” he asked and then continued. “Same reason? What does that mean?”
Jensen took in a deep breath, because finally he had an answer to that question. “You want to stay because you want... need validation that what we had back then was real. I want to go because I haven’t been able to admit that it was.”
Tears formed in Jared’s eyes. “So... It was real? It wasn’t just sex?”
Jensen shook his head, a piece of him in pain that Jared could ever think that. “No, Jay...” Jensen ran his hand from Jared’s elbow to his shoulder and rested it there. “I love you in a whole different way now, Man, but back then... I was... I was totally in-love with you.”
Jared’s tears spilled over and he let out an audible sigh of relief. “Come here,” he said as he drew Jensen into a bear hug. “Thank you,” he whispered into Jensen’s ear.
Jensen pulled back to look Jared in the eyes. “For what?”
Jared’s sad smile returned, but there was a gleam of something new in his eyes. “For closure.”
It was Jensen’s turn to pull Jared into a hug this time. His voice was thick with regret, “I’m sorry... I’m sorry it took this long.”
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Jeff looked at the boys faces when they finally walked through the cabin door. He could see their confusion at their belongings; half packed, sitting on the kitchen table. “We have to get back,” he said simply.
Jared’s brow creased into a frown. “Why? We’ve only been here... like... a day.”
“And what a day it’s been,” Jeff mumbled with a shake of his head. “Hasn’t Jensen filled you in on what’s been going on?”
Jared and Jensen shared a look and Jeff could tell that he had.
“Yeah,” Jared replied. “But why do we have to leave today?”
Jeff sighed. He was truly disappointed, but he knew better than to go too far with his bluster. “I’m flying to Australia on Wednesday. I have to get home, tell Hilarie.” He looked directly at Jared. “And you have to call the studio. They’re really having a hissy.”
“Australia?” Jared asked. “I thought you weren’t going for a few weeks?”
“Ah... I didn’t mention the contract thing,” Jensen interjected.
Jared sat down on the kitchen chair. “What contract thing?” he asked, more confused than ever.
Jeff continued to fold the last of his clothes and put them into his case. “I have a timing clause and they need me there a week early,” he explained. “So if...” He stopped and looked at them both. It really did hurt him to have to say it. “... if there’s no season 15, then I’m afraid you’ll have to get the finale’ done without Daddy Winchester.”
The boys looked at each other again and Jeff could tell that something had shifted between them. The air around them was different somehow and Jared grinned.
“No issue,” Jared said. “We’ve decided to do another season. Finish it up with some warning.”
Jeff was genuinely pleased and gave Jensen a knowing glance. “Really? Well that’s great news. Guess John Winchester gets one more lifeline.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Jared said and got up from the chair. He moved to the small fridge and grabbed 3 beers. They all pulled the key-ring top at the same time and clinked the cans before taking a gulp of the cold brown liquid.
“What now?” Jeff grumbled as he pulled his cell from his back pocket. He looked at the display and then at Jared before answering. “Hello?... Yeah, he’s here.” He handed the phone to Jared and placed the last of his clothes in the case, closed it and zipped it up in one motion.
He walked out of the kitchen. He didn’t need to hear the apologetic conversation Jared was about to have with Holly from the studio. She was from PR and had been calling all day. Jensen followed him out a moment later and Jeff could tell he had something on his mind, but right now he just wanted to get on the road. He needed to tell Hilarie they were leaving early and he knew she wouldn’t be happy. Best he did it as quickly as possible. “I’m sure I plugged my charger in here,” Jeff said, more to himself than to Jensen as he looked at the different power points. “Ahh... there you are.” He pulled the white cord out and wrapped it into a neat ball.
“I wanted to thank you,” Jensen said hesitantly. The look on his face told Jeff why, but he wanted to be sure.
“Oh, yeah?” Jeff scratched his beard. “For what?”
“You were right. There hadn’t been closure for Jared and me. We...” Jensen scrunched his face as he changed the word. “I haven’t really dealt with what happened between us.”
“And you have now?” Jeff asked.
“Yeah... I mean sort of. We spoke about it. Come to the conclusion that it was more than sex, so...” Jensen shrugged a tinge of red in his cheeks.
“A blind man could have told you that,” Jeff said, but he wasn’t being flippant, but he couldn’t help himself so then he was. “Why do you think all the fan-girls fic about it?”
“Was it that obvious?” Jensen asked and his eyes told Jeff he really wanted to know.
Jeff took in a breath. He was in a rush, he wanted to catch the first plane home, but could also see he needed to take the time to explain this. “Yeah, Jensen... For those of us that knew... the way you looked at each other... the incidental touches, the both of you missing for hours on end.” Jeff grinned, but he was trying to be serious. “You weren’t off having a quickie... You were off having a relationship.”
“A gay one,” Jensen responded, but it was more of a question.
“A relationship,” Jeff reiterated and held Jensen’s gaze. “It makes no difference what type.”
Jensen nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” His voice held a tinge of regret.
“You know, Jensen.” Jeff continued to look him straight in the eye. “I’d be grateful if I were you. It’s that chemistry that got you both to season 15. Sure, it might have shifted, but it’s still there. I can’t count how many co-stars have had affairs on set, but not many last beyond the movie or series.”
“We’re still in the series.”
“And you’re still close,” he said strongly. “Most end up hating each other. You two don’t. I’d take that as a win.”
Jensen’s face changed and he smiled. He glanced towards the kitchen and then back at Jeff. “Thank you,” he said again and this time it was full of sincerity. “You’re right... We are close and it’s a lifetime close. Even when the show’s finished.” He chuckled. “Grey haired old men doing conventions and looking out for each other’s grandkids.”
Jeff laughed and there was a smile on Jared’s face when he entered the living area.
He handed the phone to Jensen. “Holly wants to talk to you, too. Don’t worry, she’s not mad. She was just worried. Apparently you can’t buy this type of publicity, especially when the 300th airs.”
Jensen took the phone and spontaneously grabbed Jared by the neck. He planted a massive kiss on Jared’s cheek, complete with huge, “Mwaahhh,” sound effect, before starting to walk away.
The look of confusion on Jared’s face was comical. “Huh? What was that for?”
Jensen continued towards the kitchen, phone to his ear, but threw back over his shoulder, “For looking after my grandkids.”
Jeff shrugged when Jared turned to him for answers. “Don’t ask me, I just work here.”
Jared shook his head and that all too goofy look returned to his face. His smile went all the way to his eyes and Jeff was happy to see it. These boys, who were now men, were going to be okay. He wasn’t 100 percent sure the ghosts of seasons past had truly been salted and burned, but their love was strong and whatever type of love it was, it was going to last a lifetime.
THE END.
A/N: Really hoping you enjoyed this, so feedback would be great... please and thank you!! Z
Author: Zenamydog
Rating: PG 13
Fandom: Supernatural/Real
Characters/Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Warnings: Nope none, apart from its J2. *grins*
Beta: Formally jdSampson Now just my best friend!
Disclaimer: Not Real Folks!
AN: April 2012 was the last time I wrote a story, I am hoping I still have it, so please be kind.
Summary: Set just after the filming of the iconic 300th episode and before the official announcement of a 15th season.
Jeff wants to hang around for a few days and so all 3 J’s hire a cabin in the woods. They get into a bar fight, Jared gets lost in the woods and Jared and Jensen need to work out how their past feeling are effecting them now. If they don’t, there may not be a season 15.
Jensen yawned and rolled onto his side. His eyes widened after he opened them. They must have fallen asleep, because he was still on Jared’s bed. Jared? He grabbed his jeans and pulled them on. He didn’t actually remember taking them off in the first place, but... He moved quickly out into the living space where Jeff was sitting on the couch looking at his phone.
“Sleep well?” Jeff asked and briefly looked up.
“Where’s Jared?” Jensen had to force himself from sounding panicked.
“Outside.” Jeff gestured towards the door. “Nice day, which at this time of year means not freezing, but sun’s out. He’s been up for a couple of hours. Wanted to get some fresh air.”
Jensen sighed with relief. “He look alright?”
“Yeah, he looked fine,” Jeff said a little dismissively. “Well as fine as he can be, concussion and very little sleep. About the same as you,” he added for good measure.
“Yeah, thanks,” Jensen said with no heat and moved towards the kitchen. “Coffeeeee,” he groaned.
“Think his back could probably use some antibiotics though,” Jeff called out from the other room.
Jensen switched on the coffee machine. He was glad the kitchen was stocked. God, he hated instant. He had been so wrapped up worried about Jared’s head injury, he’d forgotten about the splinters. “How’d you know about that?” Jensen called back, watching the coffee start to drip into the mug. There was no answer and Jensen finished brewing the black liquid he was so desperately craving.
“Jeff?” he said as he walked back into the living area.
Jeff was frowning and scrolling through his phone. “This is not good.”
“What?” Jensen was confused. He sat down on the opposite couch and sipped at the coffee. “What’s not good?”
Jeff hit the centre of his phone and then turned the screen towards Jensen.
Jensen heard Jared’s voice, but the camera wasn’t on him. “Well maybe you could get your own beer once and a while,” and then Jensen watched the roundhouse punch. There was the sound of wood breaking and Jensen’s eyes widened when he saw himself launch forward to deck the guy who’d punched Jared.
“Oh, no.” Jensen watched in disbelief. “You’re fucking kidding me,” he said as it zoomed in on Jared, lying on top of the smashed table. He felt his stomach drop. It was only a moment of film, but Jensen could tell straight away that Jared had lied. He had lost consciousness, albeit for only a few seconds.
“Yeah, I had a feeling... thought I saw them recording, but I was hoping...” Jeff gave him a look of apology.
“You knew this was caught on camera?” Jensen asked angrily.
“Hey,” Jeff responded with an authority in his voice. “I wasn’t sure, but look on the bright side. It could have ended up on the news. Be grateful it’s just Facebook.”
Jensen took another sip of his coffee before saying something he’d regret. What era was Jeff from anyway? It wasn’t Jeff’s fault they ran into 2 douche bags and someone filmed it, but social media was worse... much worse. News was on and then gone. This was going to be shared and shared and then shared again. He could only imagine the kind of questions they were going to get at the next convention.
“I’ve already called, Hilarie,” Jeff informed. “You should probably call Danneel and let her know not to worry.”
“Shit...” Jensen looked at the door. “Has Jared got his phone?” Not so much of a coincidence, but a second later a phone started ringing from the bedroom. Jensen knew instantly it wasn’t his. “Guess not,” he said as he stood and went to grab it. He didn’t make it in time, because he couldn’t find it. It was in Jared’s jean pocket, which kind of made Jensen wonder what Jared was wearing right now. And yes... of course it was a missed call from Genevieve. In the time it took him to contemplate taking the phone out to Jared, it rang again. He swiped the arrow up instantly and put the phone to his ear.
“Hey, Gen, it’s Jensen.”
“Oh my God, where’s Jared? Is he okay? My friend sent me the video. You got into a fight? I knew he shouldn’t have gone with you guys. Jesus! What happened? Where is he?”
“Calm down, Gen... Seriously, Jared’s fine. He’s just outside getting some air.” Jensen walked out of the bedroom and towards the door. “He left his phone in his jeans; it’s why he didn’t pick up.”
“How can he be fine, Jensen, he got knocked out?” Genevieve’s tone was both worried and accusing.
“Look, he got a bit of a concussion, but---,”
“A concussion... and he’s still there? Why didn’t you take him to a hospital? You should have called me!”
“I’m sorry, Gen...” Jensen felt really bad. She was right. Especially now he knew Jared had blacked out. “He wouldn’t let---,”
“Just put him on,” Genevieve said by way of an order. “I want to speak to my husband.”
Jensen sucked in a breath and walked through the door. He took a few steps down the pathway and looked around. Oh crap... “He must have gone for a walk, Gen, he’s not here.”
“Well, where is he?”
Jensen rolled his eyes. He wanted to scream into the phone, I don’t fucking know... he went for a walk, but he held his tongue. “As soon as he comes back I’ll get him to call you, okay?”
Jensen heard Genevieve sigh loudly. “Look... Jensen, I’m sorry... I don’t mean to be... I’m just worried.”
Jensen understood. He realized he really did need to ring Danneel as soon as he got off the call. “That’s okay, Gen. Pinkie promise, the moment I see him, I’ll dial your number and put the phone to his ear.”
“Pinkie promise?” It was a real question, but not about Jared calling her.
“Sorry, JJ says it all the time.” Jensen could feel the tension ease.
“Okay, well... the moment he gets back, okay?”
“Will do,” Jensen said. “Bye.”
Jensen looked at the phone for a minute and for a moment contemplated going inside to grab his own phone, but instead he manually dialed Danneel.
“Hey, Jared?” Danneel said when she answered. She sounded surprised and a little hesitant.
“Hey, Baby, it’s me.”
“Oh, Jen... You had me worried there for a moment. What’s happened to your phone?”
From the tone and the question, Jensen knew straight away that she had no idea what had occurred the night before. “My phone’s fine, but I’m using Jared’s phone because I couldn’t wait to talk to you and mines in the cabin.”
“Okayyyyy.... That’s... sweet, I guess.” Jensen could hear her confusion. “You miss me that much, huh?”
“No... I mean, yes, but...” Jensen shook his head. It threw him that Danneel didn’t already know and he would need to explain. “So, here’s the thing... It’s all over social media, I’m surprised you haven’t seen it or Genevieve hasn’t called.”
“What’s all over social media?” There was now worry in her tone.
“So... we kind of got into a bar fight last night and...” He gestured ‘stop/stay calm’ by patting the air. ... before you think the worst, everyone’s fine, okay. These two fucking idiots recognised us and picked the fight. Jared got knocked out, only he said he didn’t, but that’s okay, he’s okay, we’re all fine, but there’s a video and Genevieve panicked, but Jared went for a walk and I took his phone out to him, but he’s not here and that’s why I have his phone, but I needed to call you, because I didn’t want you to worry like Gen did, which... you know, I don’t blame her. She was mad, and I did stop him from going for a walk, but that was last night and he was---,”
“Jen, stop. Take a breath.” There was a beat of silence. “So basically you got into a fist fight and someone filmed and uploaded it and Gen saw it before Jared told her about it and now she’s upset?”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, so... I’m really glad you called... I can only imagine what seeing this on social media would have... I understand why she’s mad, Jensen.”
“We had no idea someone recorded it. Jeff did, but he didn’t say anything, but he wasn’t sure, so...”
“Not the point, Jensen. Jared should have called her and... well... you could have called me earlier, too.”
“I’m sorry, Danny... really, I... we just didn’t think.”
“Its fine ...” Danneel’s tone softened. “Everyone is okay, right?”
“Yeah.” Jensen looked at his hand. “I’ve got a bruised knuckle and Jared’s got a concussion, but it’s only mild.”
Danneel took in a long breath. “I better call Gen; she’s probably over thinking it all.”
“No probably about it,” Jensen quipped.
“Okay... I love you. I’ll give you a call in a few hours. Are you going to come back early?”
Jensen furrowed his brow, he hadn’t thought about it. “Not sure yet. I’ll let you know. I love you, too... Bye.”
“Bye.”
Jensen disconnected the call and immediately looked around again for Jared. It was... yes it was just a ‘mild’ concussion.
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Jared sat by the lake and watched as the frozen water started to melt under the mild sunlight. The scenery was breathtaking. Tree’s covered in icicles that made the green of the leaves glisten and shiny. The air was crisp as he breathed it in and it helped the throb in the side of his head. He was vaguely aware he shouldn’t still have a headache, but the thought was fleeting. He must have walked quite a long way, because the path he had been on was not in sight. He checked his watch and realized he’d been gone for at least an hour. He should get back, mother-hen Jensen would start to worry, he thought, but it was so nice to sit and hear nothing but the rustle of the branches and an occasional tweet from a bird. Still... he should call and check in. He reached for his back pocket and then patted the other one. Crap... he’d changed jeans and he’d not grabbed his phone.
With that Jared stood up and then abruptly sat down back down again as a wave of nausea hit. He felt like he wanted to be sick, but thank god he wasn’t. He waited a few minutes and took in deep soothing breaths. “Just get up slowly”, he said to himself. “You just got up too fast.” As he got to his feet the second time and looked around, he furrowed his brow. Where was that pathway?
Jared started to walk up the small incline away from the lake and tried to get his bearings. When he got to the top, there was still no familiar pathway, so going left or right was an equal tossup. “Shit,” he said out loud. Why the hell did he forget his phone? Okay... he went left and just started walking as he looked for something familiar. He could only pray he wasn’t walking away from the cabin.
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Jensen sat down and turned on the TV. He was surprised at how good the reception was, so far out. He had a drink in his hand, but not a coffee this time. He chugged the first beer down and instantly thought about getting up to get another, but Jeff was in the kitchen on the phone. He could only hear Jeff’s side of the conversation, but it sounded like he was talking to his agent and he didn’t sound too pleased.
“I signed that contract months ago, Rob. If they want to pull out, fine, but don’t expect me to end up empty handed.”
There was a brief silence and Jensen could see from the corner of his eye, Jeff was pacing. He didn’t want to eavesdrop, but they were in pretty close quarters.
“What do you mean, in a week? Like I said, if they want to void the contract... no, I didn’t say that.” Jeff huffed. “No to that, too, Rob. Hilarie and the kids are coming. I can’t get there in time for that.” There was silence and Jeff sighed. “Look, Rob, I don’t care about any fucking contract clauses, that’s what I pay you for, besides... I want to do this other thing!”
Jensen frowned. He wouldn’t want to be Rob right now. He stared at the television, but he wasn’t really watching it. His mind kept slipping back to the night before. As much as he fought it, the sense memory of holding Jared in a vertical position, weighed on his mind. Jared had been gone over two hours now and Jensen was starting to get a bad feeling. No... He did a little self-talk and told himself not to worry. Jared was a big boy and they’d both slept for a few hours. Jared woke up, so that meant he was fine, right?
“Ahhh, shit,” Jeff said as he flopped down on the couch adjacent to him. He had a beer in his hand, screwed the top off and drank it in one motion.
“What’s up?” Jensen asked. “Something with the gig down under?”
Jeff nodded. “They want me there early. Which doesn’t sound like a biggy, but it totally conflicts with the final Winchester reunion.”
“Oh,” Jensen reacted more than spoke. If the show was going to end, then he really wanted ‘John’ to be a part of it, as much for the fans sake as his own. “Well that sucks.”
“I’d feel better if you told me what’s going on with it. Have you and Jared decided?”
Jensen pursed his lips. “Not exactly.”
“Because you want to leave and Jared doesn’t?” Jeff said matter-of-factly.
Jensen looked at Jeff critically. “Yeah, how did you know that?”
Jeff’s lips tilted upwards in a sideway grin. “I warned you the walls were paper thin.”
Jensen nodded. He was a little uncomfortable at that. “I don’t get it, actually.” He shrugged. “There was a period back there...” He thought for a moment. “Must have been season 7 or 8, where all Jared could talk about was getting out. I really had to reel him back in. Get him to understand the craft again. Admittedly, he was in a bad head-space, but it took a lot. He was up for Hercules or Conan the Barbarian or something.” Jensen tried to remember and then dismissed it. “Anyhow, he wanted to do other shit. Now it’s reversed. I want to get on with it.”
“You want to get on with it?” Jeff asked, but his face told Jensen it wasn’t truly a question.
“Yeah,” Jensen answered and returned Jeff’s stare.
“And Jared doesn’t want to leave, because...?” Jeff took another drink from his beer. “You think he’s got nothing to go to? He’s worried about getting work? What?”
Jensen felt a small blush rise in his cheeks, but he wasn’t entirely sure why. “I’m sure that’s part of it.”
“Me, too,” Jeff acknowledged as he got up from his couch. “Part of it, at least.” He gave Jensen a questioning look as he tipped the bottle to his mouth and drank the last drops. “Want another?” he asked as he scooted past Jensen and grabbed his empty bottle.
“Yeah, why not,” Jensen replied. There was the sound of clinking when Jeff tossed the empty beer bottles into the bin and then he was handing him the next beer and sitting down again a moment later.
“Speaking of which...” Jeff again unscrewed and drank. “Jared’s been gone for a while now.”
“Yeah... Trust him to forget his phone.” Jensen furrowed his brow. “Do you think we should go look for him?”
“Give him another hour or so. If he’s not back, we’ll take a drive up the road, take a look. I hope he’s back soon, though. Wouldn’t mind doing a little fishing.”
Jensen grinned. “It’s probably been at least 10 years since I picked up a rod. Jared and I went camping and we hired this tiny little row boat out on Burnaby Lake. It was so funny,” he laughed. “Jared caught something.” He laughed again and shook his head. “To this day we don’t know what it was, ‘cause he stood up to reel it in and the whole thing tipped. We both ended up in the drink. Lucky it wasn’t that deep, but I remember Jared’s face as we watched the rod skim across the top of the water, being pulled by god knows what.”
“Too, funny,” Jeff laughed too. “He is such a goof ball that guy. Boating 101, you don’t stand up in a row boat.”
“And it gets better.” Jensen drank more of his beer with the same smile on his face. He could feel the alcohol starting to take hold. “We couldn’t friggen get the boat to turn back over, no matter what we tried and I remember...” Jensen finished his beer. “Jared rescued one of the oars and climbed on top of this upside down boat and told me to hop on because he would row us back to shore. Thing was... I did get on.”
Jeff laughed loudly. “Were you drunk?”
“No... Boating 101... don’t go on the water drunk.” He gestured with his hand. “A little high, maybe, but... we ended up pushing the boat in. Owner wasn’t too happy, I tell ya.”
The next hour went by quickly with the help of another 3 or 4 beers, hilarious stories and outright distraction. Jensen was relaxed, something he hadn’t been for quite a while.
There was a shrilling sound and Jeff grabbed his phone from the inside pocket of his jacket. He shook his head and his face held a combination of disappointment and anger.
“Rob?” Jensen asked.
Jeff nodded and then read the text out loud. “Hey, Jeff... Just want to let you know we are still working on the job conflict. Know you want to do this SPN thing, but they are still talking about invoking the clause in your contract. Will keep you up-to-date.” He put his phone back into his pocket and sighed. “You know it would really help, Jensen if you and Jared could get yourselves on the same page.”
Jensen knew it wasn’t meant as an affront, but it made him pause. “You’re not the only one, Jeff. I mean... I’d do another season if it means that much to him. I just don’t understand why.”
Jeff shook his head and looked at him. There was a condescending look in his eyes. “You do know he wants to stay, for exactly the same reason you want to go, don’t you?”
Jensen frowned. “And what’s that?”
Jeff took in a breath and sat back in the couch, guzzling the last of his beer. “Well... I’ll tell you, but first you have to answer a question.” His face turned serious. “And you have to be honest.”
“Okay,” Jensen said a little hesitantly.
“You and Jared were lovers for what... 2 or 3 years... Why did it stop?”
Jensen raised his eyebrows. Of everything Jeff might have asked, he was totally not expecting a question like that. “What the fuck has that got to do with anything?”
“Just answer the question,” Jeff said in a frustrated tone.
Jensen didn’t understand. He didn’t really want to understand as the word lover looped in his head. Jeff had known about them back then, hell he’d even covered for them more than once, but why was he bringing it up now? Sure he was always a stirrer, but this was serious... and very personal. Still... the question did make him think and he had to actually think hard. “I... I don’t really know. It just did. Gen started playing Ruby and it was clear Jared liked her. I had started seeing Danny and...” He shrugged. “We kind of just stopped.” He gestured. “The physical stuff just didn’t happen anymore.”
“Did you ever talk about it?”
It took a second for Jensen to realize they hadn’t. “No,” he said simply.
“So you think all those feelings just stopped, too?”
Jensen felt very uncomfortable and his frustration level was starting to rise. In fact, he was starting to feel quite angry. “What the fuck, Jeff?” Jensen leaned forward. “So you think that this is some sort of stupid bullshit unrequited love thing?”
Jeff’s eyes softened as he shifted forward to meet Jensen’s stare. His was voice low and serious, “No, Jensen... I think this is some sort of stupid bullshit unresolved love thing.”
That word stopped Jensen in his tracks and all his anger drained as he swallowed hard. It took a good 30 seconds for him to get his thoughts to stop spinning and he knew he had paled.
“Like I said... Him staying, you leaving... It’s for the same reason. It was a lot of seasons ago, I know, but those ghosts don’t always move on without a little push.”
Jensen looked up at the clock and it was the distraction he needed to be able to think again. “You know what. Jared should have been back by now.” He stood and headed to the bedroom to get his coat. “I’m going to look for him.” He came out and went to the kitchen to grab a couple of bottles of water and put them into his large coat pockets. When he walked back to the lounge area Jeff was putting on his own coat.
“You’re right,” Jeff said, picking up his car keys. “It’s been a bit too long, even for nature loving Jared.”
“You’re not driving, Jeff. You’re drunk.” He paused. “Hell, we both are. You stay here and call me if he comes back. I’ll go on foot.” With that Jensen walked out of the door, not giving Jeff a chance to respond. He walked down the path, almost grateful Jared wasn’t there and he had a reason to get out of the room. Jeff had really hit a nerve and Jensen’s conscious brain, really didn’t want to deal with it.
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Jensen had walked 2 different trails, both leading to the lake, but there was no sign of Jared. His mind kept going to dark places, of Jared hurt of unconscious, so he couldn’t believe his eyes when returning from the third trail he saw Jared in the distance. He looked dishevelled and as Jensen got closer, he thought Jared looked pale and confused. He was still some distance and Jared started to walk away, so it was clear he hadn’t seen him.
“Jared!” Jensen screamed out and started to move forward.
Jared turned. “Jen?”
It was life imitating art, because the moment Jared saw him he dropped to his knees and Jensen started to run full speed, ‘no!’ was echoing in his head. Season 2, episode 22, All Hell Breaks Loose.
Jensen slid to his knees in front of Jared, just as he had in that scene. “Hey, hey... Jay?” He put his hand to Jared’s cheek. He seriously needed to remind himself that Jared hadn’t just been stabbed in the back and he wasn’t about to die in his arms. The similarity was eerie.
“Hey, Jen,” Jared said weakly. “I got lost.”
A small smile tilted Jensen’s lips upwards. “No shit, Sherlock,” he teased and instinctively drew Jared into a hug. “It’s okay. I got you.”
They stayed like that for a few moments and then Jensen pulled away, taking a good look at Jared’s pupils. He stood and helped Jared to his feet, guiding him to one of the large trees. He sat Jared down to lean against it and pulled out a bottle of water, opened the top and handed it to him.
Jared gulped the water down and it was gone in a few seconds. “Thanks,” he said and put the bottle beside him.
Jensen pulled the other bottle out and offered it to Jared, but he waved it away. “No no... I just need to rest for a few minutes.” He looked around and then back to Jensen who had sat down in front of him. “I turned left instead of right, got totally confused and finally decided to double back. How far are we from the cabin?”
“About 10, maybe 15 minutes walk.”
Jared grunted a humourless laugh. “I was starting to get a little worried. There were a few moments there where I thought I was actually going to...” Jared stopped and just shook his head. “Doesn’t matter, it’s stupid.”
“Die?” Jensen finished the sentence for him. “It’s not stupid, Jared. People do get lost and die in terrain like this.” He reached out and tapped Jared on the head in a playful way. “Especially if they’ve had a concussion.”
There was a look between them, one of thank you and you scared me that made the air thick with something Jensen couldn’t quite name. The only thing he could think of to say came out before he had the sense to stop it. “I’ll tell you what is stupid. Jeff thinks the reason we can’t decide on season 15 is because we still have feeling for each other.”
Jared blinked and it looked to be in slow motion.
“That is stupid, right?” Jensen really wanted Jared to confirm it.
Jared shifted to place his hand behind Jensen’s neck. He pulled Jensen too him and Jensen didn’t resist. Their lips touched and the passion was instant. Their mouths opened and their tongues did an all too familiar dance. It was deep and bruising and the arousal came only seconds later. Jensen didn’t resist, he didn’t want to. If he was honest with himself, he’d thought about this more than once. Jeff was right, at least in part. It was crazy and contradictory, but the thought of not seeing Jared every day did make him want to put distance between them. It wasn’t until they had laid down and Jared was on top of him that he paused to think about what was happening. He could feel the heat in his cheeks and the hardness in his groin. It felt so good, so natural, but...
Jensen broke the kiss. He was panting hard and so was Jared. “Jay...” he said, almost apologetically. “I’m crazy in love with my wife.”
Jared didn’t move, he just stared down at Jensen, their gaze was full of love, but it was also full of acceptance. “Me, too,” he said and then rolled off to sit with his back to Jensen. “I’m sorry. I...” He let out a huge sigh. “Gen and the kids are my world, too.”
Jensen didn’t know what to say, what to do, so he shifted the few inches it took to lay his head on the back of Jared’s shoulder. They stayed there in silence for what seemed like an eternity and yet it seemed way too short. The calm and peace was broken by the vibration of Jensen’s phone in his pocket.
“Hey, Jeff. I found him. He got lost,” Jensen said as soon as he answered.
“Well thank fuck for that,” Jeff said curtly, but there was relief in his tone. “You’d better get back here. Gen’s been calling and she’s threatening to catch the next flight to Vancouver. CW is in frenzy, too.”
“Shit.” Jensen glanced at his phone. 6 missed calls, 4 from Genevieve. How the hell hadn’t he felt that? Oh wait... that’s right. He was in the throes of passion with her husband. “Sorry... it was on silent. I’ll get him to call her right now. Bye.” Jensen quickly bought Gen’s number up on the screen and thrust the phone towards Jared. “Talk to her.”
Jared frowned almost comically and took the phone. “Now?”
“Yes, now, or she’s going to fly out here.”
“What? Why?” Jared asked, but Jensen leaned over and swiped the phone.
“I pinkie promised,” Jensen said with an apologetic look on his face and Genevieve answered almost immediately.
“Jensen?”
“No, hi... it’s me, Honey.”
“You two, really got to stop swapping phones,” Gen responded, but didn’t wait for Jared to say anything. “Are you okay? Why the hell has it taken you so long to call me back? I was so worried! Jesus, Jared... Didn’t you know I’d be going crazy? I was about to fly up there.” There was a pause of silence. “Anyhow,” Genevieve’s tone was still sharp. “How’s your head?”
“Ahhh...” Jared gave him a confused look, but the phone was loud enough, so Jensen could hear Gen and knew why.
“Your concussion,” he mouthed, barely audible, pointing to his own head.
“Umm... I’m not sure what Jensen told you, but he was exaggerating.” Jared was clearly blabbing. He looked at him with a larger question in his eyes. Why on earth had Jensen told his wife he had a concussion? “Seriously, Honey. It was just a little knock.”
“A little knock?” Gen’s voice rose again and this time it held real anger. “You can see you were knocked out. The video’s gone viral on Facebook and its freaking trending on Twitter. Your mom has been calling, your sister... The studio is freaking out, trying to run damage control. I can’t believe you didn’t call them, either.”
Oh shit... Jensen’s eyes widened and he face palmed. He hadn’t said anything about the video. He quickly gestured, punching the air and then of someone filming.
“You’re kidding,” Jared mouthed, a look of disbelief on his face.
Jensen scrunched up his face. “No.”
“Viral, huh...” Jared tried to make light of it.
“Yes, viral. What did you expect? It’s not every day you see Sam Winchester get knocked unconscious for real.”
“Hey,” Jared continued to play it down. “Look on the bright side. Can’t remember ever trending.”
Jensen raised an eyebrow and grinned. Probably not the way to go, but the guy had balls.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Jared,” Gen was now screaming. “Do you have any idea...”
Okay... Definitely not the way to go. Jensen got up and walked out of hearing range. It was never fun when your wife dressed you down. Mind you, Jensen couldn’t really blame her, except he felt bad because it was kind of his fault and Gen wasn’t going to let Jared off lightly. He watched Jared’s conversation from a distance, and had to admit he found it a little bit funny. The poor guy was clearly getting an ear full. Jared finally hung up a few minutes later, got up and started to walk toward him. He still looked pale, but Jensen wasn’t sure if that was due to the concussion, dehydration or his wife.
“Not happy, huh?” Jensen asked rhetorically.
“Nope, she’s livid.” He looked at Jensen questioningly. “Why didn’t you tell me about the video?”
“It slipped my mind, sorry.”
“It slipped your mind?” Jared frowned. “Don’t you think---,”
“Jay,” Jensen interrupted and looked passed Jared to where they had been sitting under the tree. “I was a little distracted.”
Jared followed his line of sight and calmed down straight away. “Distracted, right... sorry.” He smiled weakly.
“You think you’re up for the walk back to the cabin?”
“No problem.”
They both quickly fell into step beside each other and the silence was easy. There was no pressure to make idle chatter as they wandered down the road towards the cabin. It was what Jensen loved about being Jared’s friend. He had said it before, many times. Jared was the person he spent more time with than any other person on earth and that included his family. It came with perks. The comfort of being around each other was absolute. Jensen nodded to himself as that thought hit. He knew he needed to break that silence.
“I think we should do another season,” he said out of the blue and Jared stopped dead in his tracks.
Jared’s eyebrows rose. “You do?”
“Yeah, Jay, I do. A final season... Maybe 20 eps, like this year. Wrap it all up in a nice little bow. Then everyone can get use to the idea and be prepared that it’s going to end.”
Jared nodded and then laughed.
“What?” Jensen couldn’t help but grin.
“Fan’s a going to have a field day trying to save us, you know that, right?”
It was Jensen’s turn to laugh. “Maybe we’ll get 30 seconds in Time Square, like Shadow Hunters.” There was a beat of silence and the smile slid slowly from Jensen’s lips. “You know,” he said and swallowed hard. “They are going to fight for us to stay and that means...”
Jared reacted to the changed on Jensen’s face and the sudden crack in his voice. “Jen?”
“I think, maybe...” He let out a huffed breath. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell the fans about it being our last year, just yet.”
“Okay...” Jared looked confused and a little concerned. “Why not?”
“Well, unless the CW tells them all we’ve been cancelled, we’re going to have to be honest and say we chose to end it.”
Jared shrugged, still not understanding. “So? We just tell them we want to do other projects.”
And here he was again, going to a place he had spent years keeping compartmentalized. “When I said... get use to it. Be prepared... I was talking more about us, Jay. You and me...” Jensen looked for comprehension in Jared’s eyes. “I’m not ready to have hysterical girls sobbing and asking emotional questions every convention, like, how much are we going to miss each other.”
“Okay.” Jared smiled sadly. “... but can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” Jensen said as he started to walk and Jared again fell into step beside him.
“What... what changed your mind about 15?”
Jensen thought about it for a few steps before he answered, “I guess... well I have an analytical mind, always have. Leaving this season would be a... you know... a business decision, but 1 more year won’t make that much difference and... After all this time, it shouldn’t be rushed. It’ll give the CW, the writers etc. the opportunity to plan it right.” He glanced at Jared. “Including us,” he added softly.
“I like that idea,” Jared said with a small grin. “But...” Jared’s face changed and there was doubt, mixed with a splash of guilt in his eyes. “I don’t want to hold you back, Jen. If you’re just doing it for me, then I---,”
Jensen stopped walking again and grabbed Jared’s elbow to get him to stop, too. He needed to look at him when he said this. He needed Jared to not wonder or second guess what he was about to say. “Yes I am,” he said.
“What?” Jared looked crushed, even though he had asked the question.
“Yes I’m doing this for you, but I’m also doing it for me, Jared. You asked what changed my mind. The truth...” Jensen felt heat rise in his cheeks, but he had to finally get the pink elephant out of the room. “It was that kiss. It flooded me with stuff I know I haven’t dealt with. Jeff said you wanted to stay and I wanted to go for exactly the same reason and he was right.”
Jared looked taken aback. “Jeff?” he asked and then continued. “Same reason? What does that mean?”
Jensen took in a deep breath, because finally he had an answer to that question. “You want to stay because you want... need validation that what we had back then was real. I want to go because I haven’t been able to admit that it was.”
Tears formed in Jared’s eyes. “So... It was real? It wasn’t just sex?”
Jensen shook his head, a piece of him in pain that Jared could ever think that. “No, Jay...” Jensen ran his hand from Jared’s elbow to his shoulder and rested it there. “I love you in a whole different way now, Man, but back then... I was... I was totally in-love with you.”
Jared’s tears spilled over and he let out an audible sigh of relief. “Come here,” he said as he drew Jensen into a bear hug. “Thank you,” he whispered into Jensen’s ear.
Jensen pulled back to look Jared in the eyes. “For what?”
Jared’s sad smile returned, but there was a gleam of something new in his eyes. “For closure.”
It was Jensen’s turn to pull Jared into a hug this time. His voice was thick with regret, “I’m sorry... I’m sorry it took this long.”
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Jeff looked at the boys faces when they finally walked through the cabin door. He could see their confusion at their belongings; half packed, sitting on the kitchen table. “We have to get back,” he said simply.
Jared’s brow creased into a frown. “Why? We’ve only been here... like... a day.”
“And what a day it’s been,” Jeff mumbled with a shake of his head. “Hasn’t Jensen filled you in on what’s been going on?”
Jared and Jensen shared a look and Jeff could tell that he had.
“Yeah,” Jared replied. “But why do we have to leave today?”
Jeff sighed. He was truly disappointed, but he knew better than to go too far with his bluster. “I’m flying to Australia on Wednesday. I have to get home, tell Hilarie.” He looked directly at Jared. “And you have to call the studio. They’re really having a hissy.”
“Australia?” Jared asked. “I thought you weren’t going for a few weeks?”
“Ah... I didn’t mention the contract thing,” Jensen interjected.
Jared sat down on the kitchen chair. “What contract thing?” he asked, more confused than ever.
Jeff continued to fold the last of his clothes and put them into his case. “I have a timing clause and they need me there a week early,” he explained. “So if...” He stopped and looked at them both. It really did hurt him to have to say it. “... if there’s no season 15, then I’m afraid you’ll have to get the finale’ done without Daddy Winchester.”
The boys looked at each other again and Jeff could tell that something had shifted between them. The air around them was different somehow and Jared grinned.
“No issue,” Jared said. “We’ve decided to do another season. Finish it up with some warning.”
Jeff was genuinely pleased and gave Jensen a knowing glance. “Really? Well that’s great news. Guess John Winchester gets one more lifeline.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Jared said and got up from the chair. He moved to the small fridge and grabbed 3 beers. They all pulled the key-ring top at the same time and clinked the cans before taking a gulp of the cold brown liquid.
“What now?” Jeff grumbled as he pulled his cell from his back pocket. He looked at the display and then at Jared before answering. “Hello?... Yeah, he’s here.” He handed the phone to Jared and placed the last of his clothes in the case, closed it and zipped it up in one motion.
He walked out of the kitchen. He didn’t need to hear the apologetic conversation Jared was about to have with Holly from the studio. She was from PR and had been calling all day. Jensen followed him out a moment later and Jeff could tell he had something on his mind, but right now he just wanted to get on the road. He needed to tell Hilarie they were leaving early and he knew she wouldn’t be happy. Best he did it as quickly as possible. “I’m sure I plugged my charger in here,” Jeff said, more to himself than to Jensen as he looked at the different power points. “Ahh... there you are.” He pulled the white cord out and wrapped it into a neat ball.
“I wanted to thank you,” Jensen said hesitantly. The look on his face told Jeff why, but he wanted to be sure.
“Oh, yeah?” Jeff scratched his beard. “For what?”
“You were right. There hadn’t been closure for Jared and me. We...” Jensen scrunched his face as he changed the word. “I haven’t really dealt with what happened between us.”
“And you have now?” Jeff asked.
“Yeah... I mean sort of. We spoke about it. Come to the conclusion that it was more than sex, so...” Jensen shrugged a tinge of red in his cheeks.
“A blind man could have told you that,” Jeff said, but he wasn’t being flippant, but he couldn’t help himself so then he was. “Why do you think all the fan-girls fic about it?”
“Was it that obvious?” Jensen asked and his eyes told Jeff he really wanted to know.
Jeff took in a breath. He was in a rush, he wanted to catch the first plane home, but could also see he needed to take the time to explain this. “Yeah, Jensen... For those of us that knew... the way you looked at each other... the incidental touches, the both of you missing for hours on end.” Jeff grinned, but he was trying to be serious. “You weren’t off having a quickie... You were off having a relationship.”
“A gay one,” Jensen responded, but it was more of a question.
“A relationship,” Jeff reiterated and held Jensen’s gaze. “It makes no difference what type.”
Jensen nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” His voice held a tinge of regret.
“You know, Jensen.” Jeff continued to look him straight in the eye. “I’d be grateful if I were you. It’s that chemistry that got you both to season 15. Sure, it might have shifted, but it’s still there. I can’t count how many co-stars have had affairs on set, but not many last beyond the movie or series.”
“We’re still in the series.”
“And you’re still close,” he said strongly. “Most end up hating each other. You two don’t. I’d take that as a win.”
Jensen’s face changed and he smiled. He glanced towards the kitchen and then back at Jeff. “Thank you,” he said again and this time it was full of sincerity. “You’re right... We are close and it’s a lifetime close. Even when the show’s finished.” He chuckled. “Grey haired old men doing conventions and looking out for each other’s grandkids.”
Jeff laughed and there was a smile on Jared’s face when he entered the living area.
He handed the phone to Jensen. “Holly wants to talk to you, too. Don’t worry, she’s not mad. She was just worried. Apparently you can’t buy this type of publicity, especially when the 300th airs.”
Jensen took the phone and spontaneously grabbed Jared by the neck. He planted a massive kiss on Jared’s cheek, complete with huge, “Mwaahhh,” sound effect, before starting to walk away.
The look of confusion on Jared’s face was comical. “Huh? What was that for?”
Jensen continued towards the kitchen, phone to his ear, but threw back over his shoulder, “For looking after my grandkids.”
Jeff shrugged when Jared turned to him for answers. “Don’t ask me, I just work here.”
Jared shook his head and that all too goofy look returned to his face. His smile went all the way to his eyes and Jeff was happy to see it. These boys, who were now men, were going to be okay. He wasn’t 100 percent sure the ghosts of seasons past had truly been salted and burned, but their love was strong and whatever type of love it was, it was going to last a lifetime.
THE END.
A/N: Really hoping you enjoyed this, so feedback would be great... please and thank you!! Z