start of a new life
This is really it, i'm going to be moving out of my house and into my own apartment. This really wasnt by choice but i think this is most likely the best thing i can do. I pretty much got thrown out of my house simply cuz i have a boyfriend, so my mentality is that if something like that will get me thrown out of the house, why bother.
I've tried to live my life up until this point as a good kid, i never do drugs, i dont drink, i dont party, hell i hardly even play computer games now. i've been studying hard yet alas, my parents think that i'm some kind of demon child given to them from the kind devil. Now THAT is a load of crap. i dont think they realize how much worse things could be for them but that's over. i guess i'm not as bitter as i sound, its just that i'm frustrated with how things have turned out and i'm scared shitless of the future. like how i'm going to pay for school, where will i live, HOW will i live. what happens if i end up on the street, will anyone care? i know my parents wont. at least christopher has offered me a place to stay and that means more to me than anything.
another thing that makes me angry is the fact that my mom has been the one really pushing for this, and my dad is seemingly just following her words. it just feels like she wants me to suffer, to fail in life, to be miserable. and if you think i'm just making a bigger deal of this then this is for you:
Renee:
Just want to let you know that Dad had received the denial letter from FARSA, that means you still own U Mass $2000 for this term. Dad has mentioned that he might help you pay this off but I am not sure whether you will finish this term. I don't want to pay for nothing. If I do not hear anything from you within this week, I will assume that you are dropping out school.
Mom
its no joke. i've spent the week crying and being miserable about this, but i think this is my real chance to grow up. be my own person, and live my own life. things will be really hard from now on, but what can you do. this is my life now.
dear mom,
dont ever call yourself Christian because that's probably the furthest from what you really are. The Bible teaches forgiveness yet you're throwing me out of the house, sending me emails and bitter calls to cheap shot me and to get me to cry. you're not Christian and you dont follow the Bible, you're not like God or Jesus. I'm not saying i am, but i know that you're CERTAINLY not. Dont ever tell me to go to church, or to find God again. I'll do it my way. Thanks for being a mom before now, thanks for comforting me when i was angry or upset. thanks for trying to understand me before now. i'll still care, but i cant stay at home anymore.
dear dad,
Same goes to you, you're a liar too. Don't call yourself Christian either. i'm sorry life has been so rough for you and i realize that you have done much to get me where i am. i am forever grateful for your hardwork and dedication. its not that i dont care about you, but that i'm growing up and you'll just have to let me. i cant stay at home forever, tell mom i love her and sorry things went the way they did. i'm also sorry that you're just gonna turn around on me, but i realize that you've been putting up with this for a while now and i guess you've just had enough. thanks for helping me pay for college up till now. sorry i'm the worst thing that's ever happened to you. good luck with the rest of your life, i'll stay in touch if possible.
Renee
sigh.. i just feel like crying all over again. this really hurts...
I've tried to live my life up until this point as a good kid, i never do drugs, i dont drink, i dont party, hell i hardly even play computer games now. i've been studying hard yet alas, my parents think that i'm some kind of demon child given to them from the kind devil. Now THAT is a load of crap. i dont think they realize how much worse things could be for them but that's over. i guess i'm not as bitter as i sound, its just that i'm frustrated with how things have turned out and i'm scared shitless of the future. like how i'm going to pay for school, where will i live, HOW will i live. what happens if i end up on the street, will anyone care? i know my parents wont. at least christopher has offered me a place to stay and that means more to me than anything.
another thing that makes me angry is the fact that my mom has been the one really pushing for this, and my dad is seemingly just following her words. it just feels like she wants me to suffer, to fail in life, to be miserable. and if you think i'm just making a bigger deal of this then this is for you:
Renee:
Just want to let you know that Dad had received the denial letter from FARSA, that means you still own U Mass $2000 for this term. Dad has mentioned that he might help you pay this off but I am not sure whether you will finish this term. I don't want to pay for nothing. If I do not hear anything from you within this week, I will assume that you are dropping out school.
Mom
its no joke. i've spent the week crying and being miserable about this, but i think this is my real chance to grow up. be my own person, and live my own life. things will be really hard from now on, but what can you do. this is my life now.
dear mom,
dont ever call yourself Christian because that's probably the furthest from what you really are. The Bible teaches forgiveness yet you're throwing me out of the house, sending me emails and bitter calls to cheap shot me and to get me to cry. you're not Christian and you dont follow the Bible, you're not like God or Jesus. I'm not saying i am, but i know that you're CERTAINLY not. Dont ever tell me to go to church, or to find God again. I'll do it my way. Thanks for being a mom before now, thanks for comforting me when i was angry or upset. thanks for trying to understand me before now. i'll still care, but i cant stay at home anymore.
dear dad,
Same goes to you, you're a liar too. Don't call yourself Christian either. i'm sorry life has been so rough for you and i realize that you have done much to get me where i am. i am forever grateful for your hardwork and dedication. its not that i dont care about you, but that i'm growing up and you'll just have to let me. i cant stay at home forever, tell mom i love her and sorry things went the way they did. i'm also sorry that you're just gonna turn around on me, but i realize that you've been putting up with this for a while now and i guess you've just had enough. thanks for helping me pay for college up till now. sorry i'm the worst thing that's ever happened to you. good luck with the rest of your life, i'll stay in touch if possible.
Renee
sigh.. i just feel like crying all over again. this really hurts...