i dont understand...

[nnednahs]

i dont understand britney.
at all.
i just dont get why she doesnt want to be my friend anymore.
or how i could have been so in the dark to what i suppose is her real personality...
i dont get a lot of things though so i dont know...
no matter what i tried she just stopped.
i guess im a really easy person to stop caring about.
to stop loving.
at least for her and josh. its a bit more than a bit of a let down.
i lost my 2 best friends and i dont know how to get either of them to even pretend i exist.
maybe i shouldnt try.
i have to make myself not call josh. or write him. or have any kind of contact with him.
he knows i miss him and thats all i can do. i guess i shouldt expect him to ever care, but i want my best friend back.
not my boyfriend, my friend.
i love him and i miss him being a part of my life.
and ive tried every way i can think of to reach out to britney.
the next move is theirs.

maybe i should just give up...

not everyone has given up on me.
if i didnt have the few people who do care, id be even more sad.
i just wish that at least one of them were here in knoxville.
being so alone all the time sucks.
i only know becca and chris.
and becca hasnt called and i dont really know...
and then chris is being a major tard.

i wish willberface wasnt all the way in maryland...hes about the only thing making me smile at all right now...lame.