Now with 90% less cryptic
So the big news from my trip to Boston 10 days ago is that anotherjen and I are officially dating! I'm not going to try to map out the various degrees of almost-dating we've gone through, but I will say we've taken our time. :) We started talking almost exactly a year ago, and finally met in October. Jen had always been very clear about what she was looking for in a partner, and I'd known from the start that I only met about half of her criteria, so I never got my hopes up too high. On the other hand I just loved spending time with her and felt we had a real connection, so I decided to simply enjoy our relationship for what it was, and not worry about what it wasn't.
Our first meeting really put this to the test: at the end of the weekend she told me that she didn't feel a strong attraction to me and wasn't interested in dating. I was pretty disappointed by this, naturally, but somehow I never really believed it; it just didn't ring true. (This occasioned at least one "unflushable" joke from Coupling.) Even now we don't know if I simply misread her or if there was something there that she didn't recognize, but in any case I resolved to enjoy whatever our relationship was. I was honestly getting too much out of it to ever think of ending it just because it wasn't going any further. As Jen pointed out I avoided being pouty or clingy, which would have ended things pretty fast. Whatever we were or weren't doing, I continued to enjoy it and it continued to grow.
I went to Arisia a couple days early so I could spend time with Jen before the con, and just had an absolutely wonderful time. At the con we ran into oneagain who apparently noticed how I was looking at Jen, and later asked if I was her boyfriend. Jen held to her "we're not dating" position... but apparently she wasn't very convincing. ;)
Jen and I continued to spend lots of time online and on the phone. As had been true for a while I was spending more time with her than with anyone besides geekchick. At some point it became "I guess we're dating, but not boyfriend/girlfriend." As much as I do love having words to put to things, I hardly cared because it sure felt like boyfriend/girlfriend to me, which is to say I was very happy with things.
And then I went up the weekend before last, to go to Jen's party and to spend some quality time together. I've said a lot about the party, but not much about how Jen and I spent our time that weekend. All I'm really going to say now is that we're definitely dating and I couldn't be happier. :)
One very interesting thing she said to me was that she's never dated someone unless she felt a strong immediate attraction to them, so this is new ground for her in a way. I'm the other way, I've almost never dated someone unless I spent a long time getting to know them. (The couple exceptions didn't go well either, which hardly makes me want to repeat the experience.)
I haven't mentioned her as much as I might have, because I was very conscious of the not-dating thing. I didn't want it to seem like I was trying to make our relationship out to be closer than it was. Expect this to change, in a big way. :) Neither of us is sure where exactly this is going, but I am sure we're both going to enjoy it for a long time.
Jen is uncommonly kind, intelligent, accomplished, passionate, honest, open, straightforward, beautiful and very sexy. What can I offer to match that? Yeah, pretty much nothing. I'm damn lucky! (Get bent, Ryan Adams!)
Our first meeting really put this to the test: at the end of the weekend she told me that she didn't feel a strong attraction to me and wasn't interested in dating. I was pretty disappointed by this, naturally, but somehow I never really believed it; it just didn't ring true. (This occasioned at least one "unflushable" joke from Coupling.) Even now we don't know if I simply misread her or if there was something there that she didn't recognize, but in any case I resolved to enjoy whatever our relationship was. I was honestly getting too much out of it to ever think of ending it just because it wasn't going any further. As Jen pointed out I avoided being pouty or clingy, which would have ended things pretty fast. Whatever we were or weren't doing, I continued to enjoy it and it continued to grow.
I went to Arisia a couple days early so I could spend time with Jen before the con, and just had an absolutely wonderful time. At the con we ran into oneagain who apparently noticed how I was looking at Jen, and later asked if I was her boyfriend. Jen held to her "we're not dating" position... but apparently she wasn't very convincing. ;)
Jen and I continued to spend lots of time online and on the phone. As had been true for a while I was spending more time with her than with anyone besides geekchick. At some point it became "I guess we're dating, but not boyfriend/girlfriend." As much as I do love having words to put to things, I hardly cared because it sure felt like boyfriend/girlfriend to me, which is to say I was very happy with things.
And then I went up the weekend before last, to go to Jen's party and to spend some quality time together. I've said a lot about the party, but not much about how Jen and I spent our time that weekend. All I'm really going to say now is that we're definitely dating and I couldn't be happier. :)
One very interesting thing she said to me was that she's never dated someone unless she felt a strong immediate attraction to them, so this is new ground for her in a way. I'm the other way, I've almost never dated someone unless I spent a long time getting to know them. (The couple exceptions didn't go well either, which hardly makes me want to repeat the experience.)
I haven't mentioned her as much as I might have, because I was very conscious of the not-dating thing. I didn't want it to seem like I was trying to make our relationship out to be closer than it was. Expect this to change, in a big way. :) Neither of us is sure where exactly this is going, but I am sure we're both going to enjoy it for a long time.
Jen is uncommonly kind, intelligent, accomplished, passionate, honest, open, straightforward, beautiful and very sexy. What can I offer to match that? Yeah, pretty much nothing. I'm damn lucky! (Get bent, Ryan Adams!)