How do you know me?
As we get to know and love someone, it seems like some of us start with the details and work up to the big picture, and others start with the big picture and work down to the details.
How about you? As you come to love someone do you learn about them one detail at a time, finding lots of little things you like and eventually filling in a picture so complete and so detailed that you realize it's love? Or do you start learning about them in broad strokes and major themes, first seeing the overall picture and gradually filling in the details? Are you in the middle, or do you work some other way entirely?
Where along the way do you realize you love them? Can/does it happen early on, or only once the picture is almost complete?
I'd guess the detail-out approach is more common amongst T/thinking types, and the gestalt-inward approach is more common for I/intuitive types. How does this sound to you?
The analogy to concrete vs. abstract thought is pretty obvious, but I think the analogy I prefer is to Hadit and Nuit.
In relationships I'm intiutive. I'm most aware of the broad details and underlying patterns of how a person thinks and feels. I pay attention to the details, but always try to see how they fit into the bigger picture. Being intuitive, if my big-picture impression of someone seems compatible with me I'll feel very comfortable with and connected to them. I won't sweat the details much, trusting that our compatible outlooks will sort things out. There's definitely a risk of wishful projection here, and that's something I have to watch myself for, but it seems like lots of people suffer from that in relationships, not just I types.
One notable mistake aside, I'm reasonably good at telling who I'm compatible with well before I know all the details, so I tend to decide if I like them pretty quickly. That weirds some people out - "How can you like me, you hardly know me?" I understand that but don't think it's entirely fair, because there are different ways of "knowing someone". The type and amount of knowledge that I need to be comfortable with someone may not be enough for some other people, but experience has shown it's usually enough for me to make a good assessment.
How about you? As you come to love someone do you learn about them one detail at a time, finding lots of little things you like and eventually filling in a picture so complete and so detailed that you realize it's love? Or do you start learning about them in broad strokes and major themes, first seeing the overall picture and gradually filling in the details? Are you in the middle, or do you work some other way entirely?
Where along the way do you realize you love them? Can/does it happen early on, or only once the picture is almost complete?
I'd guess the detail-out approach is more common amongst T/thinking types, and the gestalt-inward approach is more common for I/intuitive types. How does this sound to you?
The analogy to concrete vs. abstract thought is pretty obvious, but I think the analogy I prefer is to Hadit and Nuit.
In relationships I'm intiutive. I'm most aware of the broad details and underlying patterns of how a person thinks and feels. I pay attention to the details, but always try to see how they fit into the bigger picture. Being intuitive, if my big-picture impression of someone seems compatible with me I'll feel very comfortable with and connected to them. I won't sweat the details much, trusting that our compatible outlooks will sort things out. There's definitely a risk of wishful projection here, and that's something I have to watch myself for, but it seems like lots of people suffer from that in relationships, not just I types.
One notable mistake aside, I'm reasonably good at telling who I'm compatible with well before I know all the details, so I tend to decide if I like them pretty quickly. That weirds some people out - "How can you like me, you hardly know me?" I understand that but don't think it's entirely fair, because there are different ways of "knowing someone". The type and amount of knowledge that I need to be comfortable with someone may not be enough for some other people, but experience has shown it's usually enough for me to make a good assessment.