Hmm...

[nmb4xmas]

I kinda mauled myself up a bit again. Turns out the blades in a disposable razor are wicked sharp so of course I went to town with that. I feel kinda bad about doing it. Getting back into old ways and all. My arm was hard to do because there's so much scar tissue on it now. But my thigh's looking pretty brutal. I don't even know why I did it. It's like I was addicted. Every time I saw a razor I'd wanna grab it, go in the bathroom with my towel [I have a special one specifically for that]and peroxide and lock the door. This time I actually did it though. I guess I can't control myself anymore. Ashley's gonna be mad at me when she see's. I'm hanging out with her Tuesday to go to a Fairground Avenue show and then staying over. She's gonna give me a talking to like she used to do all the time at school. ''Skyler. Why did you do that. I don't like seeing all these things on you.'' And stuff like that. But all I really worried about was that no teacher saw them and that no student reported it to the counselor. I don't want to be on medication and I don't want to be in a padded room. But I guess it might help. Chelsea's told me thousands of times that I should go to her therapist. I don't know though. Telling someone about it is different than doing it. And besides she'll probably pull that bullshit about ''is it because you want attention'' and crap. I hate when people say that. Oh well... I suppose I'm gonna end it here.

I love you guys

-skyler