hello
It's funny how the mind plays tricks on the heart or is it the other way around?
I sit here thinking, actually getting this overwhelming feeling that it's okay to call him. That he misses me and wants to hear from me. Oh god how sad is that?
How can i actually believe that? There is aching, wrenching feeling in my heart when i think of him, Sergio, my nose burns and my eyes blury with burning tears.
I want to cry! I should cry!
If he would only know how I've loved him. If he knew I am ready to throw all away for him.
He wont because i wont tell him.
The pain of love, lust, or whatever this is -- is painful.
I must learn to not act on my impulsion to throw myself at him. But what if he calls? Will it be okay then?
NO!!!! NO! NO. Not then. Not ever. I must stop this nonsense!
If i play with fire I will get burn with fire. I need to quiet down. I need to control myself. I need to live my life without him! I will always love him...this type of thing does not dissapear suddenly.
My love for him, my need for him...can never be while i am still under this roof.
I sit here thinking, actually getting this overwhelming feeling that it's okay to call him. That he misses me and wants to hear from me. Oh god how sad is that?
How can i actually believe that? There is aching, wrenching feeling in my heart when i think of him, Sergio, my nose burns and my eyes blury with burning tears.
I want to cry! I should cry!
If he would only know how I've loved him. If he knew I am ready to throw all away for him.
He wont because i wont tell him.
The pain of love, lust, or whatever this is -- is painful.
I must learn to not act on my impulsion to throw myself at him. But what if he calls? Will it be okay then?
NO!!!! NO! NO. Not then. Not ever. I must stop this nonsense!
If i play with fire I will get burn with fire. I need to quiet down. I need to control myself. I need to live my life without him! I will always love him...this type of thing does not dissapear suddenly.
My love for him, my need for him...can never be while i am still under this roof.