A report on the sleep-training
So, we had a big debate about sleep-training, when I started it with Elizabeth a few months ago. We decided to sleep-train her because I found that I was spending the vast majority of the day putting her down for naps or bed, and then getting her up when she cried, letting her play a bit and trying again. Putting her down involved cuddling and
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Here's an overview, with links to some non-sketchy research with actual footnotes: .
Here's her rebuttal to some of the comments she got after posting the first one:
And I DO believe that kids need consistency, and a general sort of pattern to the day. Some kids (though apparently not yours) need a house to be "run like a Nazi military base" once they've lost basic trust in their parents to consistently meet their needs. They need to cling to something, and that something is the almighty SCHEDULE. I know parents that panic if they have missed the second yawn, because it means that they have missed the beginning of the Bedtime Ritual, and their child will not sleep at he appointed hour (and thus really struggle) without the hour of snack-bath-books-bed. It seems like Elizabeth hasn't needed to attach herself to this, so lucky you! I don't believe, however, that kids need a lot of structure beyond the general biological necessity of meals and (usually) naps. What they need most is a comfortable, familiar person that they trust utterly. A lot of our childrearing practices in North America are bent on breaking this trust early, and then wondering what went wrong once they're teens.
Doing what's best for your child not always easy, but it should feel right. Letting your child cry in the arms of a parent isn't easy, but it feels better than giving them cake for breakfast. Letting them cry alone feels wrong for a reason.
Erg. Never mind about the baby monkeys. I spent some time looking for something juicy, and it's all either crap or not directly applicable :P I'll let you know if I find it, but I think it was a brainfart since the stuff I found was more directly related to touch then separation.
Happy long weekend!
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