from a distance . . .
There is no light in this temple that houses my spirit.
Perhaps this is part of the healing process. After the depression, anger, tears and nightmares have passed. I hit calm, but it is a dead calm. I've allowed physical challenges and difficult life events to steal my unique spirit and light - that indefineable something that makes me Jaeda.
As a result I am living life from a distance. Keeping everyone at arms length. Remaining a recluse who lives in safe seclusion. Doing just enough to get buy but not enough to challenge myself or thrive. The drive, passion and obsessive need I used to have to further myself as an artist, individual and basic human being - has left me. I've disintegrated
I go through the motions of an everyday existence but I am not present - eyes windowless. So I'm creating place holders, spiritual, artistic, emotional and physical placeholders until I am able to step back inside myself and my life.
I am following myself around with a camera, nothing artistic, I posted a few pics today that I took a couple of weeks ago on a lazy afternoon. I'm taking advantage of a good career opportunity that came my way. Making a strong effort to be more involved with my friends and I'm increasing participation in causes that used to be so close to my heart. It's a starting point.