Yeah you sort of get it, "the game" of society I guess, like how you have to do things a certain way to get places and such, pretend to be this and that to get your life reward (money, social status, a house, I suppose.) no one actually knows what they're doing, nothing actually means anything. I'm just not interested at all but since everyone else decides they have to do it, I'm forced into it despite my unwillingness. It pretends it's merit-based but it's not based on any of the merits it says it is, not really, because there are so many people who based on that should have won, and those who won who shouldn't have really, at least not when truly compared to other people.
Like if I was doing it here i would be shmoozing up with all my profs and fellow students and using all those stupid career services and taking all the easy classes that will get me As, not really learning anything etc. I guess my horror is that I thought university was about learning to be a scientist, and learning everything I could about psychology, and how to think, and I thought that that's what everyone's university degree represented: how good they were at learning. but it doesn't represent that at all. it represents how well you played it. And to me that seems like such a waste of my time and money. That's not what I want at all and that's not why I came here. But the way it's set up really prevents me from doing what I want
Like if I was doing it here i would be shmoozing up with all my profs and fellow students and using all those stupid career services and taking all the easy classes that will get me As, not really learning anything etc. I guess my horror is that I thought university was about learning to be a scientist, and learning everything I could about psychology, and how to think, and I thought that that's what everyone's university degree represented: how good they were at learning. but it doesn't represent that at all. it represents how well you played it. And to me that seems like such a waste of my time and money. That's not what I want at all and that's not why I came here. But the way it's set up really prevents me from doing what I want
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