the world
blagh need more updates.
wait what was i going to say ... i had a point i know it
OH YEAH
My parents are always telling me "you need to play the game," but I don't want to play the game. I don't like it, I don't agree with it, I didn't consent to it, and it's not worth it. What would I get out of it anyways.
lx loves playing the game, but you know what, it's easier for her, and maybe it is actually fun when it's just at that right level. Or maybe the rewards are more appealing to her, I always did have a hard time being motivated by things.
but yeah, fuck the game. i will go on resisting it because I don't know what else to do.
anyways I was reminded of my VICIOUS HATRED for it because of a sort of tangent related to my personality class today. In which we learned about two different mindsets:
1. Abilities are innate and fixed
2. Abilities are learned and malleable
For obvious reasons, the 2nd is more adaptive and leads to better success. But I just kept thinking of how, at least in the US and my school here, the way things are set up in public education and academia really pushes #1 on you. This seems totally counter to the point, since it is EDUCATION and you're supposed to be LEARNING, seemingly supporting #2, but you know what, that is the biggest lie ever and it is really one of the most upsetting, depressing, tragic things I've realized about the world. And that's where we get to the beginning.
Grsnd is writing an article about it since she was in the class and we talked about it after.
it's not real. it isn't real.
I'm just trapped here. how the shit does anyone have an internal locus of control anyways (and someone should bring that in on all the privilege discussions because it's totally relevant.)
angst angst angst
other than this, i was also having a weirdly creative day and i really want to create an art form based entirely on tactile sense. I know it sort of exists, but i still find it struggling to leave vision away. Some comes closer than others, but what I'm imagining would leave vision in the dust. I think it hasn't become as popular as art for the other senses has because people find touch threatening, which it is, because once something is touching you it could hurt you. This is very enticing to me. it could be so powerful.
++yes i changed my theme, also you may have noticed i am now referring to people by their names with no vowels because I'm tired of the nicknames, these will be easier for you to figure out anyways
wait what was i going to say ... i had a point i know it
OH YEAH
My parents are always telling me "you need to play the game," but I don't want to play the game. I don't like it, I don't agree with it, I didn't consent to it, and it's not worth it. What would I get out of it anyways.
lx loves playing the game, but you know what, it's easier for her, and maybe it is actually fun when it's just at that right level. Or maybe the rewards are more appealing to her, I always did have a hard time being motivated by things.
but yeah, fuck the game. i will go on resisting it because I don't know what else to do.
anyways I was reminded of my VICIOUS HATRED for it because of a sort of tangent related to my personality class today. In which we learned about two different mindsets:
1. Abilities are innate and fixed
2. Abilities are learned and malleable
For obvious reasons, the 2nd is more adaptive and leads to better success. But I just kept thinking of how, at least in the US and my school here, the way things are set up in public education and academia really pushes #1 on you. This seems totally counter to the point, since it is EDUCATION and you're supposed to be LEARNING, seemingly supporting #2, but you know what, that is the biggest lie ever and it is really one of the most upsetting, depressing, tragic things I've realized about the world. And that's where we get to the beginning.
Grsnd is writing an article about it since she was in the class and we talked about it after.
it's not real. it isn't real.
I'm just trapped here. how the shit does anyone have an internal locus of control anyways (and someone should bring that in on all the privilege discussions because it's totally relevant.)
angst angst angst
other than this, i was also having a weirdly creative day and i really want to create an art form based entirely on tactile sense. I know it sort of exists, but i still find it struggling to leave vision away. Some comes closer than others, but what I'm imagining would leave vision in the dust. I think it hasn't become as popular as art for the other senses has because people find touch threatening, which it is, because once something is touching you it could hurt you. This is very enticing to me. it could be so powerful.
++yes i changed my theme, also you may have noticed i am now referring to people by their names with no vowels because I'm tired of the nicknames, these will be easier for you to figure out anyways