Niagra Mohawk, (Collective) Servant of Sauron
The Great Northeast Power Blackout, brought to you (again) by the People On Whom You Rely to Power Your War!!!
Yes. Absolutely brilliant... the whole freaking Northeast was out, from NY to Toronto and out to Detroit.
Except, of course, for FUCKING CATO AND SOLVAY!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Yesterday
Got out of work at 11:15. Blah. Went home, went to sleep, and then Kelsey’s telling me the power’s out. That seemed of little or no importance to me until I realized that a) the fan was off and it was getting warm rather quickly; and b) there was no music to listen to as my CD player wasn’t working. So I pulled my tired ass out of bed and went with Mater and Tess to Kinney’s. As if that would be easy. Hah.
Four hours later I’m just leaving Big M’s. The vast majority of that time I was leading shoppers around in the dark with a flashlight, writing down prices of what they wanted on a piece of paper because the scanners weren’t working. Then we moved all of the meat into the cooler- it didn’t do much good; the place stinks. Or it did this morning when we kind of looked in there. Phew.
All in all, I think we all could learn something from this situation. Here are some of the things I learned:
~ People still want decorated cakes. Even if there are none in the case, and you write crooked on the message cookies because you can’t see in the dark.
~ Cookies will sell when the lights are out and the icing is shitty.
~ Nothing will come between customers and macaroni salad and SIX SLICES OF HAM GODDAMMIT. (Yes, that is verbatim.)
~ For some reason, people assume that when you’re holding a flashlight for them and writing down prices that 1) you are their own personal servant and are there to hold their groceries for them (not true) and 2) that you should give them a break on the prices (also not true.) Said person will also be going all over the store and not make up their mind. The only thing that will alleviate the tension of this situation is said person’s friend, doing the booty bounce to her own music and following her around going, “You think you all that. You ain’t all that. Lookit you, trippin in the dark, fallin on yo ass. You SO not all that. You think you the shit and you ain’t… lookit you, fallin on YO ASS!” and showing the way with a cell-phone flash light.
~ It is, in fact, “OKAY, I just heard the MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY say it’s NOT TERRORISTS, it’s ONLY NIMO!!!!”
(A hysterical woman, consoling a loved one on a cell phone in the dairy aisle, that this is not September 11th number two, and not to duct tape the windows shut quite yet.)
~ You can hide and eat donuts really well when there are no lights on. People walk right by you and leave you alone.
Actually it was a good thing I stayed to help out, because I got to see Alicia again. Haven’t seen her in an age. She was buying lots of bananas. Huzzah for bananas.
“I’m thinking…international incident…. I’ll take two.” Alicia, pondering on the impact of terrorism and potato chips.
And that’s it for right now, as the dreaded ‘One Day Sale’ is tomorrow and I need sleep. Stay tuned next time as Heather regales you with her tale of her Day at the Pool, and the new friend she made- a published writer and amateur furniture restorer who writes poems about space shuttles and Chavez!
Yes. Absolutely brilliant... the whole freaking Northeast was out, from NY to Toronto and out to Detroit.
Except, of course, for FUCKING CATO AND SOLVAY!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Yesterday
Got out of work at 11:15. Blah. Went home, went to sleep, and then Kelsey’s telling me the power’s out. That seemed of little or no importance to me until I realized that a) the fan was off and it was getting warm rather quickly; and b) there was no music to listen to as my CD player wasn’t working. So I pulled my tired ass out of bed and went with Mater and Tess to Kinney’s. As if that would be easy. Hah.
Four hours later I’m just leaving Big M’s. The vast majority of that time I was leading shoppers around in the dark with a flashlight, writing down prices of what they wanted on a piece of paper because the scanners weren’t working. Then we moved all of the meat into the cooler- it didn’t do much good; the place stinks. Or it did this morning when we kind of looked in there. Phew.
All in all, I think we all could learn something from this situation. Here are some of the things I learned:
~ People still want decorated cakes. Even if there are none in the case, and you write crooked on the message cookies because you can’t see in the dark.
~ Cookies will sell when the lights are out and the icing is shitty.
~ Nothing will come between customers and macaroni salad and SIX SLICES OF HAM GODDAMMIT. (Yes, that is verbatim.)
~ For some reason, people assume that when you’re holding a flashlight for them and writing down prices that 1) you are their own personal servant and are there to hold their groceries for them (not true) and 2) that you should give them a break on the prices (also not true.) Said person will also be going all over the store and not make up their mind. The only thing that will alleviate the tension of this situation is said person’s friend, doing the booty bounce to her own music and following her around going, “You think you all that. You ain’t all that. Lookit you, trippin in the dark, fallin on yo ass. You SO not all that. You think you the shit and you ain’t… lookit you, fallin on YO ASS!” and showing the way with a cell-phone flash light.
~ It is, in fact, “OKAY, I just heard the MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY say it’s NOT TERRORISTS, it’s ONLY NIMO!!!!”
(A hysterical woman, consoling a loved one on a cell phone in the dairy aisle, that this is not September 11th number two, and not to duct tape the windows shut quite yet.)
~ You can hide and eat donuts really well when there are no lights on. People walk right by you and leave you alone.
Actually it was a good thing I stayed to help out, because I got to see Alicia again. Haven’t seen her in an age. She was buying lots of bananas. Huzzah for bananas.
“I’m thinking…international incident…. I’ll take two.” Alicia, pondering on the impact of terrorism and potato chips.
And that’s it for right now, as the dreaded ‘One Day Sale’ is tomorrow and I need sleep. Stay tuned next time as Heather regales you with her tale of her Day at the Pool, and the new friend she made- a published writer and amateur furniture restorer who writes poems about space shuttles and Chavez!