Being pissy again. But with good reason this time.
You may have heard this song on the radio. If you haven't, you're not missing out on anything. My apologies to the people who actually like it. You see, I have some weird kind of complex in regards to emotional drivel and this song just kind of takes the cake. It's so...so... sissy la la creampuff. So I've posted the lyrics, but with the addition of the words I'm usually shouting at the radio when it plays. Enjoy!
My comments are in Italics
Daniel Bedingfield - "If You're Not The One"
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
Cause you took your medication this morning?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
Opposable thumbs?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
It doesn’t, you freak, stop calling me and leaving weird voicemails!
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
If you fall over I hope you’re standing next to a three thousand foot drop.
I never know what the future brings
A restraining order…
But I know you are here with me now
That’s only cause you hit me over the head and dragged me in here.
We’ll make it through
But you’re paying for the therapy bills
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
…At a constant distance of at least fifty feet
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
no, want to run away, want to run away!
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Cause you’re PSYCHOTIC???? HMMMM???
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
NO!
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
Cause you were born spineless? Grow some balls, dude.
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
----> See above comments on state of mental health
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
I’m not the one to talk to about frequent flier miles.
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
Get away from me. Freak.
I don’t know why you’re so far away
Because I’m running away from YOU.
But I know that this much is true
No, it’s a lie...
We’ll make it through
No, we won’t...
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Your hopes shall be dashed upon some very sharp rocks.
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
Murder/suicide?!? Only if you’re Orlando Bloom. In which case I would be the murderer, having killed you for singing this dumb song...Woe is me.
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
As long as I get to brick you up in the basement… I have a cask of Amontillado I’d like to show you, now that I think of it. *evil grin*
I hope I love you all my life
*shudder*
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If you don’t want to run away, I will. I can deal with that.
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Heartbeats aren’t morse code… don’t read into it.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Sure, as long as I’m strangling you!
‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
Huzzah for suffocation!!!
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
*sticks pins into voodoo doll* fall over, fall over, right into an elevator shaft…
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
It’s wrong. Trust me, it’s wrong.
And though I can’t be with you tonight
Thank god for small favors
And know my heart is by your side
Ew! Put that thing back in your chest before it stains the carpet.
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
Yes, you do. You want to run away.
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Cause you’re as blonde as they come.
Is there any way that I
…have finally finished this song? HOORAY!!!
Thank you. This has been a Feather Production. Huzzah.
My comments are in Italics
Daniel Bedingfield - "If You're Not The One"
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
Cause you took your medication this morning?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
Opposable thumbs?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
It doesn’t, you freak, stop calling me and leaving weird voicemails!
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
If you fall over I hope you’re standing next to a three thousand foot drop.
I never know what the future brings
A restraining order…
But I know you are here with me now
That’s only cause you hit me over the head and dragged me in here.
We’ll make it through
But you’re paying for the therapy bills
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
…At a constant distance of at least fifty feet
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
no, want to run away, want to run away!
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Cause you’re PSYCHOTIC???? HMMMM???
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
NO!
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
Cause you were born spineless? Grow some balls, dude.
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
----> See above comments on state of mental health
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
I’m not the one to talk to about frequent flier miles.
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
Get away from me. Freak.
I don’t know why you’re so far away
Because I’m running away from YOU.
But I know that this much is true
No, it’s a lie...
We’ll make it through
No, we won’t...
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Your hopes shall be dashed upon some very sharp rocks.
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
Murder/suicide?!? Only if you’re Orlando Bloom. In which case I would be the murderer, having killed you for singing this dumb song...Woe is me.
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
As long as I get to brick you up in the basement… I have a cask of Amontillado I’d like to show you, now that I think of it. *evil grin*
I hope I love you all my life
*shudder*
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If you don’t want to run away, I will. I can deal with that.
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Heartbeats aren’t morse code… don’t read into it.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Sure, as long as I’m strangling you!
‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
Huzzah for suffocation!!!
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
*sticks pins into voodoo doll* fall over, fall over, right into an elevator shaft…
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
It’s wrong. Trust me, it’s wrong.
And though I can’t be with you tonight
Thank god for small favors
And know my heart is by your side
Ew! Put that thing back in your chest before it stains the carpet.
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
Yes, you do. You want to run away.
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Cause you’re as blonde as they come.
Is there any way that I
…have finally finished this song? HOORAY!!!
Thank you. This has been a Feather Production. Huzzah.