The Eternal Search for Wakefulness (for the good of mankind)
Wakefulness. I didn't think it was a word. But I knew it was a state of being.
Tonight, as I write my last paper of the quarter, it occurs to me that I need help. And not the kind of help that beautiful women or fast cars, or even money provide. No.
I need coffee. And I need it to be laced with additives that will keep me awake for months.
But lo! When I go to the store, my normal aid (the much-vaunted Starbucks Espresso-in-a-can) was far too expensive! So I did the next best thing. I noticed, conveniently stockpiled on the shelf below, was the Monster line of fine coffeeesque (not a word) products...
But what to buy? None of them clearly defined what their flavor was! Left with no solid recourse, I bought one of each (cheap, too!) and decided that I would try one of each. Possibly all before tonight is over, if I play my cards right.
So, we have...
"BIG BLACK" - Sounds like it should be like black coffee, no? Well, it's not. It's like a rather syrupy coffee drink, but with more junk in it. Um... yeah. Nothing really distinguishing, though we'll be able to tell more after I compare it to the others...
"MEAN BEAN" - I like this name better... but it tastes like "Big Black", though less syrupy. So a little better?
UPDATE 11:43 AM, JUNE 7:
"Nut -Up" - It seems we've entered into the realm of more than slightly different flavor (though still rather similar to the other two). Nut-Up actually has a bit of a hazel-nut-like flavor... and otherwise tastes like the other two.... which means I have low hopes for our last test subject.
UPDATE 11:18 PM, June 7:
"Lo-Ball" - like the rest but lighter and with fewer calories :P
Tonight, as I write my last paper of the quarter, it occurs to me that I need help. And not the kind of help that beautiful women or fast cars, or even money provide. No.
I need coffee. And I need it to be laced with additives that will keep me awake for months.
But lo! When I go to the store, my normal aid (the much-vaunted Starbucks Espresso-in-a-can) was far too expensive! So I did the next best thing. I noticed, conveniently stockpiled on the shelf below, was the Monster line of fine coffeeesque (not a word) products...
But what to buy? None of them clearly defined what their flavor was! Left with no solid recourse, I bought one of each (cheap, too!) and decided that I would try one of each. Possibly all before tonight is over, if I play my cards right.
So, we have...
"BIG BLACK" - Sounds like it should be like black coffee, no? Well, it's not. It's like a rather syrupy coffee drink, but with more junk in it. Um... yeah. Nothing really distinguishing, though we'll be able to tell more after I compare it to the others...
"MEAN BEAN" - I like this name better... but it tastes like "Big Black", though less syrupy. So a little better?
UPDATE 11:43 AM, JUNE 7:
"Nut -Up" - It seems we've entered into the realm of more than slightly different flavor (though still rather similar to the other two). Nut-Up actually has a bit of a hazel-nut-like flavor... and otherwise tastes like the other two.... which means I have low hopes for our last test subject.
UPDATE 11:18 PM, June 7:
"Lo-Ball" - like the rest but lighter and with fewer calories :P