VF-Fic: Taking a Risk - Chapter 4
Happy Birthday, tweety_ich! *hugs*
And I finally managed to update...
Title: Taking a Risk - Chapter 4
Author: ninnive
Fandom: 'Viewfinder'-series by Yamane Ayano
Pairing: Asami x Takaba
Rating: PG
Warnings: vague spoilers for the entire series
Summary: an important conversation
Disclaimer: The whole 'Viewfinder'-universe is Yamane Ayano's.
chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3
*
The hours until eight o'clock seemed to crawl by very slowly. There was nothing to distract Asami from thinking about the upcoming conversation and he found that he had to exercise a remarkable amount of self-control to avoid going over the endless possibilities how this could go wrong, again and again. When he was finally getting sick of roaming his apartment or trying to sit still enough to go through some yoga exercises, he decided to have a sparring round with a few of his men. Aside from a fuck, there was nothing like a good hands-on fight to clear one's head, after all.
*
At three minutes to eight, Asami was the picture of calmness. He was sitting in his favourite armchair, his entire body relaxed and in a pose that was as unthreatening as he could possibly manage. The glass in his hands held a dark brand of apple juice (which could be easily mistaken for whisky or something similar if one didn't look too closely) and his freshly acquired bruises were all hidden behind one of his better suits (none of them were anywhere near his face - his men knew what was good for them).
When the door to his apartment finally opened, Asami didn't bother to move but just leaned back and waited. And sure enough, after the sounds of someone taking off their shoes and jacket had faded, the soft footsteps of Takaba came slowly nearer.
"Asami?" The young man's voice was controlled, nearly without expression, but the widened eyes betrayed his uncertainty nonetheless.
"Akihito. Please, have a seat. Do you want something to drink?"
"Umm, no, thanks. Asami, what is it you wanted to talk about?"
"Aah, going right for the artery, aren't you?"
"Well, you sounded bloody serious," Takaba said defiantly.
"And I am. I just wanted to be polite." The only answer Asami got for that last statement was a loud snort. "Fine. Right for the artery we go, then. I definitely didn't like how your last visit here ended."
At that, Takaba clenched his hands to fists so tightly that the knuckles stood out white. "You didn't like how…" he began incredulously.
"Akihito, let me finish," Asami interrupted him, not unkindly, but in a determined way. "I'm not very good at saying this - and I sure as hell don't like saying it - but I don't think I've got a choice anymore. I've thought about what you've said when I asked you why you had stayed with me. You remember?"
"Yes, of course. I said I don't know."
"Exactly. And that answer is simply unacceptable for me."
It was quite obvious that Takaba would have liked to say something to that, and if the disbelieving anger that was written all over his face was anything to go by, probably at full volume, but something in Asami's expression seemed to hold him back. Barely, but still. After staring in the other man's face for quite a while, Takaba finally pressed out a deep breath. "What do you mean by that, exactly? What would be an acceptable answer?"
"What would be the point in just telling you? I haven't asked you here to play games. You may find it hard to believe, but I do care about you." That simple sentence seemed to get to Takaba like a direct blow to the stomach. Seeing the disbelieving and utterly bewildered expression on Takaba's face, Asami just smiled bitterly. "What we're doing right now isn't healthy. Not for either of us."
"Since when do you care about healthy?" Takaba asked, not understanding where this was headed. "You smoke and drink all the time like there's no tomorrow! And let's not get started about your line of 'work' - that's also hardly healthy!"
"That's exactly what I mean. I'm not doing this because of me."
"So, what you're saying is…"
"That I don't want you to be with me because you're scared or confused. We should end this affair."
"Fine, I've got no problems with that! After all, I didn't want it in the first place!" Takaba shouted while crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"That's settled then," Asami said in a tone of closure.
Takaba just nodded weakly. He got up and got his shoes and jacket, dressing slowly. Reaching for the door handle, he suddenly asked: "So, that's it?"
"Is that really a question?"
"No. I just… I mean… Goodbye. I wish you a happy life, I guess."
"You, too. Oh, and Akihito?"
"Yes?"
"You should know by now that lying to yourself will not be getting you very far."
"That's no longer any of your business."
chapter 5