a rush of alcohol to my head.
im trying to build castles of sand around myself in which to hide. i want to hide. from everyone.
the bar. tuesday.
this is where it all had started. a year ago?
now were all here. and the circle closes.
i had a similar fetish dream once that i would manage to *threesome* the three of us in some sort of random situation/conversation. and actually i did do that once, by accident, it happened during an improvised party that took place in my last years room.
but now. im a pussy.
i got tremendously drunk and wasted. just in order to avoid it.
such a pussy teenager.
with even worse hormonal attacks of the kind.
J-boy.
of course we didnt kiss. we just danced. and bootied each other. and smoked up together. and all of that shit.
it would have been so easy i know. to kiss him. but then what. i freakin cant. cause he is my freakin GOD and i should get close to the divinity. read: should screw it up. he has to remain PERFECT, INTACT.
but. he was my way out last nite.
to runnaway and hide in one of my sand castles.
[i must stop doing that. never again]
the bar. tuesday.
this is where it all had started. a year ago?
now were all here. and the circle closes.
i had a similar fetish dream once that i would manage to *threesome* the three of us in some sort of random situation/conversation. and actually i did do that once, by accident, it happened during an improvised party that took place in my last years room.
but now. im a pussy.
i got tremendously drunk and wasted. just in order to avoid it.
such a pussy teenager.
with even worse hormonal attacks of the kind.
J-boy.
of course we didnt kiss. we just danced. and bootied each other. and smoked up together. and all of that shit.
it would have been so easy i know. to kiss him. but then what. i freakin cant. cause he is my freakin GOD and i should get close to the divinity. read: should screw it up. he has to remain PERFECT, INTACT.
but. he was my way out last nite.
to runnaway and hide in one of my sand castles.
[i must stop doing that. never again]