Just a post...
Apparantly I promised a post, but I don't feel like I have much to write about. Well, I guess that's not true. I found out last Friday that I'm going to be an honorary Aunt. It's not a huge surprise. I actually didn't take it all that well at the time. Even with school ending and us moving away and CutyPi getting married, I didn't feel like anything changed. This, at the time anyway, felt like I was losing my best friend. It's like she joined a cult that I have no interest in being involved in. I know a big part of the problem is me, or I think it is. In my mind, having children = your life is over. Your life now belongs to this little person whose main concern is their own wants and needs. So, understandably, as I feel I've just recently gotten MY life, I'm not in any big hurry to hand it over to some self-centered little creature.
That sounds awful... I don't hate kids. I actually like kids... I just don't want any of my own. When I say they're selfish I don't mean that in a negative way necessarily... but they are, if only because they are unable to have any concept of anyone's wants and needs beyond their own.
Oh, I told my mother about the medication. She didn't seem to happy about it. Oh well. I asked her for any other ideas she had. She said she just didn't understand what I had to be depressed about. I can't get her to see that that is the point of the whole thing. It probably didn't help that, in the same week, my brother apparantly went on Rozaram. So, now she thinks I'm just all gung ho to have pills solve all my problems. How soon we forget the many MANY fights we had over my refusing to take my anti-convulsant.
I'm also working out LOTS. I go every morning, and this week I've been exploring classes. I like the step class, but I want to see what else is out there. Cardio Kickboxing left a lot to be desired. Cardio Jam would have been fun if I hadn't eaten before and if it weren't so crowded. This one woman seemed bound and determined to be in my space. I have personal space issues anyway, but when I'm throwing my arms around it graduates to my own safety and not wanting to be sued.
Tonight I'm going to try Pilates and I think A. is going to come along. I really think Pilates/Yoga would be good for both of us. I know I hold on to stress and could stand to use it... I'd also like the muscle and posture work of Pilates. A. has lots of stress to, plus she's a runner, which makes everything tight. I think she's really liking the variety we're getting into since she adopted me as her partner. She's looking forward to getting outside again... and I kind of am too, but at the same time I'm worried. I like walking, but it hurts. My knee is worse than ever (need to get it looked at) and my hip will really bother me in a short amount of time. The machines at the gym limit my impact a LOT and don't allow me overextend my strides. We'll see. I know she doesn't want the expense when you can walk outside for free, and I could certainly stand to save the money as well, but I feel like I won't be able to do as much.
My motivation has gone down a bit at work too. I think it's the weather, honestly. It's SO nice out, even if it's turned a little chilly again. I can't wait to be able to go to the beach. I should plan a trip to OBX with CutyPi before she gets too far along. I guess most of the stuff at Busch Gardens is out now too. Oh well....