每六个月的闹钟 / The Six Month Alarm
晚上 （清晨） 1：41
刚突然想回亚洲， 想回身边都说中文的环境，身边都是华人的地方。我每六个月有这个“想家”的感觉；每三个月突然想听中文音乐。是一个固定的情形。虽然我讲话象美国人，我心中还算是一个在亚洲长大的孩子。
我弟弟们今晚去机场，坐飞机回新加坡过圣诞节和新年。我曾经也象他们，每年放假回家过节。可是这三年以来，跟男朋友开始交往之后，我的旅行计划有改变。他的家人每年很热心地顾我配他来佛罗里达州的那不勒斯跟大家过节。男朋友的家人是意大利人。虽然他们以前住美国东部，他们年年度假（而现在退休）在那不勒斯。（看来每个人寻找的还是自己熟悉的地方。） 他们每年都很欢迎我，也把我当成象自己家人。他们这几年那么热心的招待我，我非常感激而也没有想当然。
今天可能是因为我弟弟们正好飞回新加坡。
还是因为我今天上班的时候看到一张有两位夫妇拿着“中国日报”的相片。
或许是因为我听梁咏琪“给自己的情歌”传记。
还是因为我去发廊染了头发所以头脑感觉敏感。
还是因为现在只剩下一个星期到圣诞节。所以才想家。
我真的没有什么理由抱怨， 因为我六月才回新加坡看家人地。还好现在男朋友对我的情绪很熟悉，而知道怎么给我空间去发泄。
我的情绪象一个闹钟，每六个月大声地吼叫--不“东”，不“西”，不停地问自己“为什么？为什么？为什么？”
而我的另一半，等到我发泄完了，紧紧地搂住我在他的怀里，用中文回答： ”宝贝，我爱你，我爱你。“
。。。
1:41 AM
Just suddenly felt like going back to Asia. Want to go back to a Chinese-speaking environment. Where everyone is Chinese. Every six months, I get this "homesick" feeling; every three months, I suddenly want to listen to Chinese music. It's a fixed sort of happening. Even though I speak like an American, in my heart I'm still a kid who grew up in Asia.
My brothers went to the airport tonight, to catch a flight back to Singapore to spend Christmas and New Year's. I used to be like them and fly home every year for the holidays. But these past three years, since being meeting the boyfriend, my travel plans have changed. Every year, his family members have very warm-heartedly invited me to spend the holidays with everyone in Naples, Florida. His family is Italian. While they used to live on the East Coast, they spend every year (and have now retired to) Naples. (Looks like everyone's just looking for a familiar place to call home.) They've been very welcoming to me each year, and they've also treated me like a family member. They've been so good to me that I'm very grateful and I don't take it for granted.
Today, maybe it was because my brothers happened to fly back to Singapore.
Or maybe because today at work I came across a photo of a couple holding a copy of the "China Daily".
Or maybe it was because I put on Gigi Leung's album, "Love Songs to Myself"
Or maybe it was because I went to the hair salon and dyed my hair, so my noggin's feeling a bit sensitive.
Or maybe it's because there's only a week left between now and Christmas. So that I'm homesick.
I don't really have a reason to complain, because the last time I went home to visit my family in Singapore was in June. At least now the boyfriend is familiar with my mood swings and knows how to give me space to vent.
My moods are like an alarm clock, one that lets out loud howl every six months -- neither "Asian", nor "Western", asking myself nonstop "Why? Why? Why?"
And my other half, he waits until I'm done venting, then he tightly embraces me, and answers in Mandarin: "Baby, I love you, I love you."
刚突然想回亚洲， 想回身边都说中文的环境，身边都是华人的地方。我每六个月有这个“想家”的感觉；每三个月突然想听中文音乐。是一个固定的情形。虽然我讲话象美国人，我心中还算是一个在亚洲长大的孩子。
我弟弟们今晚去机场，坐飞机回新加坡过圣诞节和新年。我曾经也象他们，每年放假回家过节。可是这三年以来，跟男朋友开始交往之后，我的旅行计划有改变。他的家人每年很热心地顾我配他来佛罗里达州的那不勒斯跟大家过节。男朋友的家人是意大利人。虽然他们以前住美国东部，他们年年度假（而现在退休）在那不勒斯。（看来每个人寻找的还是自己熟悉的地方。） 他们每年都很欢迎我，也把我当成象自己家人。他们这几年那么热心的招待我，我非常感激而也没有想当然。
今天可能是因为我弟弟们正好飞回新加坡。
还是因为我今天上班的时候看到一张有两位夫妇拿着“中国日报”的相片。
或许是因为我听梁咏琪“给自己的情歌”传记。
还是因为我去发廊染了头发所以头脑感觉敏感。
还是因为现在只剩下一个星期到圣诞节。所以才想家。
我真的没有什么理由抱怨， 因为我六月才回新加坡看家人地。还好现在男朋友对我的情绪很熟悉，而知道怎么给我空间去发泄。
我的情绪象一个闹钟，每六个月大声地吼叫--不“东”，不“西”，不停地问自己“为什么？为什么？为什么？”
而我的另一半，等到我发泄完了，紧紧地搂住我在他的怀里，用中文回答： ”宝贝，我爱你，我爱你。“
。。。
1:41 AM
Just suddenly felt like going back to Asia. Want to go back to a Chinese-speaking environment. Where everyone is Chinese. Every six months, I get this "homesick" feeling; every three months, I suddenly want to listen to Chinese music. It's a fixed sort of happening. Even though I speak like an American, in my heart I'm still a kid who grew up in Asia.
My brothers went to the airport tonight, to catch a flight back to Singapore to spend Christmas and New Year's. I used to be like them and fly home every year for the holidays. But these past three years, since being meeting the boyfriend, my travel plans have changed. Every year, his family members have very warm-heartedly invited me to spend the holidays with everyone in Naples, Florida. His family is Italian. While they used to live on the East Coast, they spend every year (and have now retired to) Naples. (Looks like everyone's just looking for a familiar place to call home.) They've been very welcoming to me each year, and they've also treated me like a family member. They've been so good to me that I'm very grateful and I don't take it for granted.
Today, maybe it was because my brothers happened to fly back to Singapore.
Or maybe because today at work I came across a photo of a couple holding a copy of the "China Daily".
Or maybe it was because I put on Gigi Leung's album, "Love Songs to Myself"
Or maybe it was because I went to the hair salon and dyed my hair, so my noggin's feeling a bit sensitive.
Or maybe it's because there's only a week left between now and Christmas. So that I'm homesick.
I don't really have a reason to complain, because the last time I went home to visit my family in Singapore was in June. At least now the boyfriend is familiar with my mood swings and knows how to give me space to vent.
My moods are like an alarm clock, one that lets out loud howl every six months -- neither "Asian", nor "Western", asking myself nonstop "Why? Why? Why?"
And my other half, he waits until I'm done venting, then he tightly embraces me, and answers in Mandarin: "Baby, I love you, I love you."