Yay Depression!
Today my Mom called me to let me know they're going to have to put my dog down pretty soon. It's one of those things we've talked about kind of recently, but it always seemed more like a distant-ish future thing. Now it's a we're talking to the vet tomorrow kind of thing. I guess he's having some serious trouble walking and standing and his mind is going. He almost attacked my Mom a few days ago, which is definitely not a good thing from a 112lb German Shepherd. I did a good job keeping it together when talking to my Mom, even when discussing what to do with him after he's dead. I suggested getting him cremated, but I think they may just bury him somewhere. For the past hour and a half I've been sobbing, which is so much fun, really. I feel kind of like a moron because it's not like I didn't see it coming and couldn't have prepared myself for it. My stupid brain keeps replaying him as a puppy and replaying the terrible time we had with him and vets who treated him like shit for the pure fact he's a German shepherd owned by lower middle class white southerners with a pick up truck. Apparently that automatically made us inbred rednecks wanting a big mean dog. One vet beat him when we were in the same room. Thankfully, his last vet is a very nice woman who treats him very well. But it's all very depressing. Very, very depressing. The crying is making my head hurt like crazy. My wonderful husband walked over to Target to get me some Excedrin and sinus stuffs. Hopefully that will help. I'm kind of hoping the caffeine in the Excedrin will give my spirits a pseudo lift. That or make me cry with more vigor....As long as my head stops hurting, I don't really care. If it gets too bad, I'll just take some Benadryl and hope to mercifully pass out. Might not be the best thing to do, but at this point I kind of don't care.