If I was...

[nikko_tegonyan]

stricter,
  I would be skinnier
smarter,
  I'd have something going for me
prettier,
  I would have a back up plan (called operation: become a model)
richer, 
  My dream would've lived
like everyone else,
  I would be happier
not lazy,
  I would be more secure
more involved (in volunteering, group discussions, social settings,)
  I would have a life
not a coward, 
 I would have died a long time ago
stronger,
  I wouldn't use excuses or crutches

as much as i want to be these things and as much as someone says it's easy and to just do it
as much as i work for it, something always stops meo

and i try again
and again
and again

and I'm tired
and should accept that I can't be these things
and should start living with these things
than live against it