I'm living and learning
I'm not happy with every aspect of my life right now, but I am content with where I am going. I haven't been for a long time, and to feel like I'm actually doing things right again, it's an amazing feeling.
I'm trying not to be petty and let my anger get the best of me. I really am trying to do everything on my own and I don't have to. I've never had to. Since I've been in Austin, I have had EVERY type of temptation known to man thrown at me, and have actually given in to a few. I have questioned my religion multiple times, I've wanted to quit everything, i wrestled with an eating disorder for a little while, I have made stupid stupid decisions, and I have, on more than one occasion, prayed that people forget my behavior by the next day. I have struggled through things that I couldn't avoid and struggled through things that were totally my fault.
I found myself.
I have learned so much about myself in 3 short years. I slowly became the girl I am today and I am slowly working to become the woman that I want to be tomorrow. I have learned that God really is my best friend in this world. When I feel like crying and the rest of them are nowhere to be found, He is always there. He has brought some amazing people in my life and removed the ones who weren't what I needed to be around. He taught me to judge character and to be a friend under the harshest of circumstances. When I feel that everyone has ditched me, I know that Christ is here. I think I spend more time praying than anything else now. I won't pretend to know everything about religion. I barely know anything about the Bible. I just know that when I pray, I feel like I can do anything. When I focus my energy in the right direction, my entire life seems to fall in line.
I was inspired to write this today by Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy lol. They're high profile athletes who experience ups and downs on a daily basis that I'll almost never experience. They are on a stage with spotlights on them at all times, but they deal and handle it all with great class. They are Christians and they don't hesitate to make it known. I think that's what impresses me the most. In a world where it seems like everyone chooses their religion based on what Tom Cruise and Oprah says is cool, people who are real Christians are hard to find. I love having people close to my age and experiencing (some) of the same things that I am setting this example.
This post was kinda all over the place, but it was really just for me so that doesn't matter.
<3
I'm trying not to be petty and let my anger get the best of me. I really am trying to do everything on my own and I don't have to. I've never had to. Since I've been in Austin, I have had EVERY type of temptation known to man thrown at me, and have actually given in to a few. I have questioned my religion multiple times, I've wanted to quit everything, i wrestled with an eating disorder for a little while, I have made stupid stupid decisions, and I have, on more than one occasion, prayed that people forget my behavior by the next day. I have struggled through things that I couldn't avoid and struggled through things that were totally my fault.
I found myself.
I have learned so much about myself in 3 short years. I slowly became the girl I am today and I am slowly working to become the woman that I want to be tomorrow. I have learned that God really is my best friend in this world. When I feel like crying and the rest of them are nowhere to be found, He is always there. He has brought some amazing people in my life and removed the ones who weren't what I needed to be around. He taught me to judge character and to be a friend under the harshest of circumstances. When I feel that everyone has ditched me, I know that Christ is here. I think I spend more time praying than anything else now. I won't pretend to know everything about religion. I barely know anything about the Bible. I just know that when I pray, I feel like I can do anything. When I focus my energy in the right direction, my entire life seems to fall in line.
I was inspired to write this today by Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy lol. They're high profile athletes who experience ups and downs on a daily basis that I'll almost never experience. They are on a stage with spotlights on them at all times, but they deal and handle it all with great class. They are Christians and they don't hesitate to make it known. I think that's what impresses me the most. In a world where it seems like everyone chooses their religion based on what Tom Cruise and Oprah says is cool, people who are real Christians are hard to find. I love having people close to my age and experiencing (some) of the same things that I am setting this example.
This post was kinda all over the place, but it was really just for me so that doesn't matter.
<3