(no subject)
Ray called me twice already...i think he's worried. We went out to the tennis court for the 2nd time to talk...he's telling me that he wants me in his life...and he wishes he could be in the childs life and still have me at the same time...well you know...that would be fine... as much as i love him...but its this girl...i dont know her...i mean what if i give it the benefit of the doubt and then later on this girl comes in between us...wouldnt it hurt me even more???? I'm so confused. He kept his arms around me the whole time...stared me in the eyes...which made me tear up...i really do love him. Very Much. *sighhhh* Complicated. When you think things cant get any worse...they do....i mean ray is my life...giving him up would be almost impossible. But i want him to be happy too. Plus there's an innocent child involved. Just sucks that it had to happen now. And i feel guilty for saying that. I guess its in Gods hands. I'll find out if this girl will be coming back or not tomorrow...ray said she was speaking with her probation officer today...she went to prison for a year for selling coke....so she's on probation for another year. I dont want to be mean...but i hope she stays put. Ray said in order to keep me he would send her child support....well....he dated her a little over 9 monthes....i hope she doesnt have some hold on him. I guess I'll pray and pray hard for whats best.
Always
Nikki
Always
Nikki