i can't sleep.
i've been feeling more upset than anything else lately. I've been sitting outside and just looking at the stars and thinking. It was nice to have company today though. Dat just sat there with me and we talked about life. Life is strange. Its funny how some people can breeze by life without a care, while i sit there worrying about every little detail that surfaces.
At times i feel like i'm stuck in one place even though i know it can all be changed with one any decision that i do make. I feel like i can't trust people either. When you get screwed as much as i do, you lose trust in people and in the end, you just want to hurt others. I'm not saying that i'm gonna go out of my way to hurt someone, i've just been more susceptible to entertaining those thoughts.
But the biggest part of me wishes i could just drop my life right now and start completely over. I feel like i've screwed up on so many levels. But a big part of me can't help but think that I didn't manage my time the way i should have because i was constantly putting time and effort into someone that i loved dearly. In short, i didn't do things that would have helped me now... i was stupid and did things that consumed my time and energy with a return rate of 2%. Well except maybe for the fond memories that i still carry with me. which isn't much. They just serve as a painful reminder of what use to be.
But tomorrow is a new day, right?
At times i feel like i'm stuck in one place even though i know it can all be changed with one any decision that i do make. I feel like i can't trust people either. When you get screwed as much as i do, you lose trust in people and in the end, you just want to hurt others. I'm not saying that i'm gonna go out of my way to hurt someone, i've just been more susceptible to entertaining those thoughts.
But the biggest part of me wishes i could just drop my life right now and start completely over. I feel like i've screwed up on so many levels. But a big part of me can't help but think that I didn't manage my time the way i should have because i was constantly putting time and effort into someone that i loved dearly. In short, i didn't do things that would have helped me now... i was stupid and did things that consumed my time and energy with a return rate of 2%. Well except maybe for the fond memories that i still carry with me. which isn't much. They just serve as a painful reminder of what use to be.
But tomorrow is a new day, right?