That old thing called love (a short one-shot)
Title: That old thing called love (a short one-shot)
Author: nikki_b1
Wordcount: 897
Rating: PG
Spoiler: Post CoE and one small thing about what Miracle day is all about.
Summary: Jack is on a journey. He’s become friends with little girl who has a strange ability of making him open up to her.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters.
Unbetaed. All mistakes are mine. Bare with me please.
That old thing called love (a short one-shot)
”Talk to me about love on earth, Jack.”
Ida was twisting one of her many braids between her fingers as she tilted her head, looking at him with a curious smile. He couldn’t help but smile back at the inquisitive little girl. Jack had made several acquaintances and a few friends on his journey but none had touched his heart like this child. He’d been staying with her family for some weeks and her parents were hard working people and grateful for the chance to have someone look after their little girl during the days. Jack felt happy about the trust and responsibility they gave him and he found himself being able to open up like never before.
“What about it?”
“Come on! Don’t be silly!” she said and gave him a gentle push against the chest. It made him laugh.
“Well…” he started “…love. LOVE! That is a mighty strange thing. The humans worship and fear it in equal amount. They search for it, they strive for it, they damn near give everything they have just to get it, and when they do they hold it so hard that they almost always smother it.” He paused “Mind you, there are a wide variety of loves; the one a parent feel for a child comes to mind of course. But people can feel love for a lot of other things as well…”
“Never mind about all of that!” she interrupted him “You know what I mean!”
“Okay, you want me to talk about the kind of love that…” he hesitated, not quite sure how to phrase it. “Well, that can come in a wide variety of shapes too. Sometimes it’s warm and soft and other times it’s greedy and full of anger.”
“Have you ever been in love Jack?”
“Oh boy, have I ever! So many times. Almost more than I can count. I’ve lived a long time you know. But I will never forget anyone of them. The feeling is different every time. Just like the person you love at one moment is different from the one before.” He looked at his hands. “Once I had a love that was like a thunderstorm. We loved and fought in equal measures.”
“What was his name?”
“His name was John Hart. There was fire between us. We got to know each other so well and learned every weakness, every trigger and every little trick. I really loved him. Nobody has ever known me as well as him. He could make my heart do a double flip just by raising an eyebrow. Oh god, he was good then…” he smiled and lost himself in the memory for a second. “But it was a kind of love that took away more than it gave. And in the end it went too far. The things we had done out of desire in the beginning turned sour and began to be hateful and punishing. By then it was too late. We would definatly have killed each other if we had stayed together. In fact he really did kill me once, but that was much later…”
“The love changed?”
“Yes, love does that sometimes. The more you get to know another person, the more you start to expect from them and they from you. Sometimes you find your partner can’t measure up, or you can’t, to all the expectations. Then the love change. So many times I was left because I couldn’t share all my secrets. They never understood why I had secrets. That it was to keep them safe.”
“Did you never keep secrets just because you didn’t want them to think badly of you?”
“I guess.” A shadow of shame fell over the captains’ face. “You’re a smart one aren’t you? Yeah…I have certainly done things that I’m not very proud of. It’s hard to share such things with someone you love. Someone you want to love you back.”
“I guess…” she replied thoughtfully. “Tell me more.”
“Okay…” Jack though for a moment “Love can change the other way too. You start off by just being good friends, friends that kiss each other now and then but all of a sudden, without you even noticing it, you realise that person is just everything to you. But that can be a very scary thing to discover.”
“How so?”
“Well…what if the friend doesn’t feel the same way? Then you risk loosing the friendship if you tell him.”
“I see. Has that ever happened to you?”
“Oh yes.”
“What did you do?”
Well…I…” Jack bit his lip “I couldn’t tell him…”
“What? You never told him? What happened then?”
“He died before I got the chance.”
“Oh how horrible!” Ida threw her arms around him and he could feel the warmth from her little body. “What was his name?” she asked.
“Ianto”
“Was it long ago?” she looked up at him with her big eyes.
“No, he was the last person I loved in fact.” Jack could feel tears welling up as she hugged him hard again.
“I think dying is very stupid. I wish everyone would just never die.” Jack thought about it for a minute.
“I don’t know. Sometimes death can be a blessing. And I think things would probably get very difficult if nobody ever died.”
Little did he know that soon, very soon he would find out just how difficult.