(no subject)
I don't know whats wrong with me tonight. work was alright in the begining, it was kind of sad cuz its mine and debbie's last NIGHT working together, so we went on our last break together :( and it was jsut sad. but then it got so worse cuz the people didnt stop comming in, it was so busy adn crazy and everyone was so bitchy. and i was tired, and my stomach hurt, and i just wanted to go to sleep forever.
then on the way home i was listening to the backstreet boys new cd and i kep replaying "safest place to hide" over and over agai nand it reminded me of ryland and morgan.. they are my world, and i see them ALLL the time and for me to just not see them, its going to be hard. and yesterday i went up to laconia with my brother and he was like, are u going to be in cali forever, and i sad i wasnt sure. and we both kind of got sad. and right now i just cant stop crying. i dont know what to do. i REAAAALY want to go to san diego ,i mean i AM going, i need this more than anyone could ever even begin to understand, but its just hard right now. i have to say goodbye, and normally i dont really let stuff like this bother me. but i am now. i cant just go home for the weekend when i miss my neice and nephew, or parents, or CAT. :( poor tabbiy, he waits for me everynight when i come home from work and he sleeps with me and cuddles with me, and now i have to leave him :( hopefully in liek a year if i stya out there we'll get a bigger place that allows cats and i will come get him. but ryland and morgan are going to be the hardest to leave. i didnt realize it would be this emotional. tomorrow is my cousin Kristy's bday so im taking her out to lunch adn a movie then watching the kids for the night so mari can so visit jay up in laconia. but it will really be my last weekend with the kids, :( and next week im work mon, tues, thurs, fri, sat sun and mon. only off on wed and im taking ryland to the beach and if its too cold then we'll go to canobie or something. something he will remember, the beach is something we do every year but i hope its not too cold to go. then on the 28th bethany comes homeeee and then danny comes up :) i cant wait. im really excited for that and i have a pretrty busy 2 weeks left but im stressing out now because i want to spend as much time with people as i possibly can and i still need to pack and send stuff out and sign up for school so my ins company can stop sending fucking letters to the house saying im not a full time student, CUZ I AM AND THEY CAN FUCK OFFFFF!! im just not in the mood, and i havent seen my brother rick in forever and he works ALL the time so im not even sure if i';ll get to spend any real time with him besides at my party but there are going to be like 45830495 people there anyway so it wont be that personal. ughhh im stressing outtttttt.
then on the way home i was listening to the backstreet boys new cd and i kep replaying "safest place to hide" over and over agai nand it reminded me of ryland and morgan.. they are my world, and i see them ALLL the time and for me to just not see them, its going to be hard. and yesterday i went up to laconia with my brother and he was like, are u going to be in cali forever, and i sad i wasnt sure. and we both kind of got sad. and right now i just cant stop crying. i dont know what to do. i REAAAALY want to go to san diego ,i mean i AM going, i need this more than anyone could ever even begin to understand, but its just hard right now. i have to say goodbye, and normally i dont really let stuff like this bother me. but i am now. i cant just go home for the weekend when i miss my neice and nephew, or parents, or CAT. :( poor tabbiy, he waits for me everynight when i come home from work and he sleeps with me and cuddles with me, and now i have to leave him :( hopefully in liek a year if i stya out there we'll get a bigger place that allows cats and i will come get him. but ryland and morgan are going to be the hardest to leave. i didnt realize it would be this emotional. tomorrow is my cousin Kristy's bday so im taking her out to lunch adn a movie then watching the kids for the night so mari can so visit jay up in laconia. but it will really be my last weekend with the kids, :( and next week im work mon, tues, thurs, fri, sat sun and mon. only off on wed and im taking ryland to the beach and if its too cold then we'll go to canobie or something. something he will remember, the beach is something we do every year but i hope its not too cold to go. then on the 28th bethany comes homeeee and then danny comes up :) i cant wait. im really excited for that and i have a pretrty busy 2 weeks left but im stressing out now because i want to spend as much time with people as i possibly can and i still need to pack and send stuff out and sign up for school so my ins company can stop sending fucking letters to the house saying im not a full time student, CUZ I AM AND THEY CAN FUCK OFFFFF!! im just not in the mood, and i havent seen my brother rick in forever and he works ALL the time so im not even sure if i';ll get to spend any real time with him besides at my party but there are going to be like 45830495 people there anyway so it wont be that personal. ughhh im stressing outtttttt.