Fic: Kisses kept are wasted
Title: Kisses kept are wasted
Betas: selinamoonfire and 7ofEleven
Word Count: 6,192
Rating: R
Pairings, Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Spock/Uhura
Disclaimer: Not mine, dammit!
Summary: As the Enterprise slowly makes it way back toward Earth, an epiphany comes to Jim Kirk about his relationship with his best friend.
A/N: This is a birthday fic for my lovely aquila_star. Normally I write her porn for her birthday as what more could a girl want? But instead this year she wanted some UST and a first kiss between the boys as she is with child and due to drop the sprog in early December. Pregnant women, I don’t know... ;) Love you, honey and I hope you like it.
Jim sat in the mess, chin in his hands as he stared down at the food in front of him. He didn’t see the food; his mind was running through all the various lists and jobs that needed doing still. Nero might have been dealt with but their problems were far from over.
Amongst all the numbers, names, faces and myriad small details that came with running a ship that were flashing before his eyes, one item stood out, something he had forgotten to deal with earlier. Scotty would need an answer and had probably been waiting on it all afternoon. He pushed back from the table, the chair scraping along the floor quietly. As he started to rise a hand gripped his shoulder and stopped his momentum upwards.
“Sit back down, Jim,” Bones said quietly to him. “Whatever it is can wait.”
“Bones -” Jim started to explain.
“Sit!” Bones glared at him, his eyebrows attempting to meet in the space above his nose.
“But...”
“Don’t make me pull out that CMO bullshit, Captain,” Bones threatened, or was it a promise?
“Fine,” Jim grumbled. “But as long as you do too.”
“I don’t come to the mess just to hang around, Jim,” Bones was looking at him with one of his many looks of disapproval.
Jim had previously considered for his dissertation that a paper explaining the many and varied facial expressions of Bones might be helpful for future Starfleet medical personnel, and possibly those that have to deal with him now, but he’d dismissed it as taking up too much time in order to research and prepare it thoroughly. That and the fact that they assigned you a topic for your dissertation. Jim still worked on a version in his head. It was likely to be a work in progress for the rest of his life.
“God damn it, Jim, can you actually stop thinking for a while?” Bones grumbled as he pulled the chair out next to Jim’s and sat down. He pulled the tray of barely eaten food over towards him and started eating some of it.
“You right there, Bones?” Jim asked with a smile as he sat back down in his chair.
“Just dandy,” Bones replied with a little look out of the side of his eyes. He just kept eating off Jim’s tray unrepentantly.
Jim shrugged and made his own selection and started eating too.
In companionable silence they ate from Jim’s tray. Any time Jim’s mind would start to wander off and start thinking of jobs still to do, Bones seemed to instinctively know and with a poke on his arm, Jim would turn, smile at him and go back to watching his tired crew.
At one stage, Jim caught a crew member yawning and, just like that, he had to yawn himself.
“That’s it! If you don’t head back to the room after this, I will sedate you,” Bones told him quietly.
“He started it,” Jim said as he pointed towards the crew member who was to blame.
“I don’t care if Spock started it, you keep pushing yourself, and you won’t be of any use to anyone. Now, you will get your ass to our room and you will attempt to sleep.” Bones had turned sideways in the chair to deliver his little speech.
“You gonna tuck me in too?” Jim asked, as there was just something in the way Bones was speaking to him that made him feel like a kid being sent to bed without any supper.
“I’ll God damn read you a bed time story if I thought it would help you stay in the damn bed,” Bones was refusing to look at Jim as he threatened Jim with the prospect of a bed time story.
Jim took the time to look at his friend, really look at him. There was tiredness in Bones’ face if you knew where to look. The little pinch in the bridge of his nose. The lines etched deeper around the corners of his mouth. The stubble, that no matter how he tried, would be coming back each evening, that helped to hide the signs from others, but not from Jim.
“Okay, I’ll go on one condition,” Jim told Bones.
Bones turned his head quickly back towards him, a wary look in the eyes. “This ain’t no compromise, you need sleep. We’ve all been running on adrenaline these past few days. Finally catching up with everyone.”
“Precisely,” Jim agreed.
“What?” There was the look of shock. It was a rare look that most others saw, but it was one Jim knew well. He did manage to get that look to appear almost as much as one of the versions of the ‘angry face’.
“It’s finally catching up on everyone, you included.”
“Now wait a cotton picking minute,” Bones started to protest.
Jim reached across to rest a hand on Bones’ shoulder and grip gently. “See, you get even more Southern when you are tired. I’m tired. You’re tired. We need sleep. So, I’ll go back to the room and attempt to sleep on one condition. You do it too.”
Bones was calculating the compromise that Jim offered. It was probably best for him to attempt to sleep, even though there was still so much to do, Jim thought, but he was going to try and get Bones to do it as well. It was like the pot calling the kettle black.
Bones opened his mouth and Jim just knew he was going to try and get out of it. Jim just tilted his head slightly to the side mockingly. That shut up Bones.
“Fine,” he agreed with all the politeness of a feral cat caught in a trap.
Jim picked up the tray and stood up.
“Huh?” Bones looked up at him, totally confused by Jim’s quick actions it seemed.
“C’mon then,” Jim told him as he turned and walked over towards the disposal unit. He knew that getting Bones to finally agree to something he didn’t want to do was a major achievement but that he had to act swiftly before Bones came up with alternative ideas or ways out of it.
Once Jim had disposed of the tray he turned around to find that Bones had followed him, his expression had now changed to one of slight confusion. As if he wasn’t sure how on earth he had ended up following Jim. Bones wasn’t the only one to use that expression on a regular basis around Jim.
Jim slapped Bones on the shoulder again, and leaving his hand on the breadth of it, directed Bones to walk with him out of the mess and towards their room. Like at dinner they didn’t need to talk. Jim could feel the heat radiating off Bones through his palm. As various crew passed them and nodded or saluted as required, Jim still kept his hand on Bones’ shoulder. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to let go.
When they reached their room, Bones keyed in their code and the door swished open almost silently.
“Lights,” Bones started to order them, as the room was cloaked in darkness.
“Fifteen percent,” Jim finished the order.
As the lights slowly faded on and bathed the room in just enough light that they could see, they stepped inside, the door closing behind them and taking the bright lights of the corridor with it.
Jim blinked once to help his eyes adjust to the light and the outline that he saw when the door opened was now revealed to be truth.
Spock was sitting on the floor, one hand resting on the bed, but the rest of him leaning up against the bed. His hand was lying on the mattress. Next to his hand was a smaller, darker one. Curled up on Spock’s bed was Uhura, fast asleep.
“I’ll get that bedtime story some other time,” Jim whispered at Bones. He didn’t want to disturb either Spock or Uhura.
Bones nodded.
“Mind you I reckon I’ll need a kiss goodnight to go along with it too,” Jim continued to whisper.
As suspected, a glare was the next option he received from Bones.
Jim grinned as he patted Bones once on the shoulder before he moved over towards his bed, pulling his shirt over his head. He reached down to pull off his boots and then as quietly as he could manage he slipped under his sheet and settled down into his bed.
He could hear Bones moving about attempting to keep noise to a minimum as well as he readied himself for bed.
Jim knew that the more that you tried to minimise noise the louder everything became. Bones, it seemed, knew the same trick. Don’t try and be too quiet, you end up make even more noise.
Jim lay facing Spock and Uhura. There were so many questions he had about where it had all started for the pair of them, in the first instance, but they appeared so content laying there. It couldn’t be comfortable for Spock but there was just something about Uhura’s presence that seemed to settle him. The presence of his father seemed to disturb his equilibrium, well as much as most Vulcan’s showed that sort of thing anyway.
So many questions Jim had, even more for the older version of Spock that he couldn’t explain.
“Lights, off,” Bones ordered and the room plunged unto darkness.
Jim took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to think of restful things. Iowa didn’t help, too many questions about his past and his mother. Where was Sam, will he be able to find him when he got back to Earth? The Academy just had memories of lives lost, never to be heard from again. Space was not the great adventure they told you. There was danger out here, more than was expected. Those first words from Bones really were right, darkness and disease wrapped up in what again? Silence. That’s what it was. What did calm him though was the deep breathing of Bones he could hear coming from the bed behind his own. Jim wondered if Bones was like Uhura. Intelligent, witty, forthright and just as she had seemed to get Spock to settle and rest. Bones had done the same for him, also Bones hadn’t left him like she hadn’t left Spock. Calmed, settled, cared for in ways he never expected is what Jim realised about Bones. Something new to ponder and add to the list.
Thoughts, ideas, things to do finally managed to recede for a time from Jim’s mind. They were still there, but they had retreated to the back stalls where they belonged for the time being, quietly making comments to annoy most other people, but Jim was used to the white noise of it. His eyes felt heavy and he finally drifted off to sleep.
***
Jim wasn’t one to wake up slowly, taking time for him orientate himself to where he was, for him he became wide awake and thoughts started to fly through his mind immediately. He blinked once to adjust to the low light in the room. As he focused he realised that he was lying on his side and he was facing Bones’ bed.
Bones asleep was vastly different than when he was awake. His face relaxed and he looked considerably younger than the grumpy old man he liked to act. Jim remembered what he realised last night. Just how much he relied on Bones. And there was what he had been trying not to think about. The time on the bridge where Bones didn’t speak.
Such a rare occurrence most would have thought and yet now that Jim could think about it, he probably owed Bones twice over. His trust in Bones had been dented when Bones hadn’t really said anything on the Bridge when Spock made the decision to throw him off the ship. Mostly when he was trekking across that ice planet, his thoughts kept flicking back to Bones. Well, they did until the big red thing started chasing him, then he didn’t think too much about anything apart from getting away. His thoughts though, had been flicking back and forth about his only real friend who didn’t back him up. He understood Spock’s reasoning and if it hadn’t of happened, then he would never have found Scotty or the knowledge to defeat Nero. It was Bones who bent Starfleet regulations to get him on this ship that had seen them through a trial by fire. Then it was Bones not helping him out that had helped get him on Delta Vega.
Bones might not be fully forgiven, Jim mused, but he understood why Bones didn’t or couldn’t show the dissent on the Bridge after Jim had attacked his fellow crew mates. All of this Jim thought as he watched the gentle rise and fall of Bones’ chest under his black undershirt. Like all Starfleet cadets, Bones had to take part in all the physical tests as well as mental. The man was fit and Jim knew it well. Running was Bones’ favorite form of exercise, probably because conversation was a little difficult while doing so. Although Jim did love to talk to him to annoy him.
Jim frowned as a realization came to him. One he sort of knew academically but looking at Bones as he slept became clear. Bones was a very attractive man. And one who Jim hoped would always be in his life. It wasn’t just one thing about Bones, it was all of him, from his seemingly caustic take on all aspects of life, to his loyalty and his sly sense of humor. Not many saw it, but Jim did after sharing a room with the man for three years.
The Academy showed Jim all the variety that was available in the Universe and as such he didn’t notice what he really should have. What was closest to him. Bones.
Jim got up, needing to get out of the room. As he did so he noticed Bones’ shirt hanging neatly over the end of his bed, the arm draped casually over the side and the Lieutenant Commander stripes. He gave a quiet snort as he remembered the day that Bones’ received his commission to that rank, the little raise of the chin as he looked over towards Jim. Bones outranked him from that moment on until just a few days ago. Jim walked slowly towards the shirt and lifted up the arm, fingering the braid slowly between his fingertips. He was sure that one day he would be Captain and outrank Bones again, then he would move the Heavens to make sure that Bones was his CMO. Things seemed to have moved quicker than any of them anticipated.
As he huffed out another breath he couldn’t help but drag his eyeline up the long, lean body of Bones. All the way up to his face, his lips just parted to allow him to breathe out and in. There was darkened stubble already making it’s presence felt on his face, such a contrast to the pale colour of his lips.
Jim closed his eyes and turned his head away as he dropped the sleeve. If he kept staring Bones would wake up and make some comment or other. He opened his and found he was looking over towards Spock’s bunk. Spock had made it back into his bed, but it was now sans Uhura. Jim noted that there was an indentation and from the way Spock was lying down, that she had recently been sharing it with him. Jim smiled slightly, as he turned and walked out of the room and headed towards the shared bathroom facilities on that level.
***
Jim frowned as he looked down at the PADD in front of him. The latest suggestions from Scotty about areas where power conservation could be considered. Off to his right stood the waiting Yeoman who had brought the information to him. To his left, now there was a conundrum. There was a man he was trying hard to not watch, but the viewscreen would provide him with a perfect reflection of the man every time he glanced up.
He couldn’t escape from Bones. He didn’t really want to but at the same time he wasn’t sure what his next move should or shouldn’t be. They shared a room still, with Spock as the awkward go between in a way. Lunch and dinner in the mess; he couldn’t avoid him. It was like back at the Academy but with one difference.
Before, he had looked forward to seeing Bones and hearing his grumbles and pithy comments about all the idiots that he had to deal with for that day. Although most of those might have been a reference to Jim at some stage. But now it was more an odd, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it didn’t matter if he had seen Bones or not. He was hyper aware of the man and he did wonder if it might be just the realization that they were alive. They had survived and Jim wanted to make sure of that by Bones being his touchstone.
Jim knew he was conflicted and had tried to keep things as normal as possible. He checked off on Scotty’s list, knowing that the Engineer was the best person really to make the call about what was and wasn’t required. Nothing stood out for him as being missing or needing a change. He held out the PADD for the Yeoman to take back to Scotty.
Jim hoped that no one noticed that he nearly jumped a mile in the air as he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder and a deep voice speak quietly in his ear, “walk with me, Jim.”
“Um,” Jim started to try and think of a reason why he needed to stay seated in the chair to do captainly things.
“Jim,” Bones repeated his name and his tone told Jim that it wasn’t a question, it was an order. He wanted to talk to him and not in front of everyone else on the bridge.
Jim got up from the chair, “Sulu, you have the conn,” he advised before he turned to follow Bones and the Yeoman into the turbolift.
When they got to Deck Eight, Bones got off the lift and turned towards Jim who was still lurking in the lift.
“Whatever,” Jim muttered as he got out and stood next to Bones.
The doors closed shut on the unfortunate Yeoman who had had to deal with their silence. Strangely there was no one walking around the corridors. Just the two of them.
“Walk with me,” Bones ordered and headed off door the corridor that ran parallel to the lift.
Jim had no option, apart from standing next to the lift like a lonely idiot, but to follow. He jogged the couple of steps that brought him next to Bones, he didn’t want any crew wandering around to think that he was following Bones like a lost puppy.
They walked for a while, Jim just following the path that Bones was leading him on. Occasionally there would be a crew member walking past but Deck Eight wasn’t that busy and obviously why Bones had chosen it.
All of a sudden Bones stopped and turned towards him. Jim stopped too and looked at Bones, still waiting to see why Bones was doing this.
“Sometimes I don’t get you, kid,” Bones said as he narrowed his eyes and contemplated Jim.
“I’m not that complicated,” Jim smiled back at him.
“Patience is most definitely not one of your virtues, well out of the few you do have, it ain’t one of them!” Bones had crossed his arms over his chest, pulling his shirt tight and putting on display the muscles that Jim had seen not long ago in their naked glory. The idea of a naked Bones chest had Jim fidgeting a little on his feet.
“See, that’s more like it. You can’t sit still, you can’t keep quiet and yet you managed to for nearly five minutes. Somethings up, so spill.” Bones pointed at Jim’s feet.
“Nothing’s up, just probably a little bit of cabin fever like everyone else,” Jim offered as an explanation. Telling your best friend that the problem was that you spent most of your waking hours thinking about them naked was very likely not to go down too well.
There went the eyebrow. Damn Bones and Spock for being able to do that so well. He could only hope that Spock never taught it to Uhura; girl was talented enough already at shooting him down.
“You know you can talk to me, Jim. I’m your friend, you can tell me anything but I’m also your CMO and it’s part of my job,” Bones explained calmly.
“Yeah, I know. It’s cool. Just got itchy feet is all. I mean, its taking us how long to get back? Most of us just want to see that friends and family are alright.” Jim had turned to look down the long corridor, still thankfully empty of crew. The mention of friends and family had Jim almost drawing a breath in as he realized something. He knew that Bones was his best friend, but he now realized that he was his family too, but he would always be second in Bones’ life.
“True. You know you ain’t half dumb at times,” Bones told him.
“Gee thanks there, Bones! Any time I need an ego boost I’ll make sure to call on you.” Jim made sure that his face was composed before he turned back to face Bones and smile as nonchalantly as possible.
“You don’t need any help in that department,” Bones grumbled which just made Jim smile wider. “Jim, you’ve been taking care of things, right?” Bones continued.
“Huh?” Jim asked, a little confused about the direction the conversation was now taking.
“You know, taking care of things.” Bones was waving one of his hands down towards his groin and Jim got the hint as to what Bones was alluding too. To add to Jim’s amusement was the faintest of blushes on Bones’ cheeks.
Jim’s grin got wider and he knew there must have been an answering twinkle in his eyes because Bones threw his hands up in the air and stomped off down the corridor again.
Jim laughed as he heard Bones’ grumbling away under his breath. “For my physician you sure are touchy about talking about my sex life,” Jim told Bones as he followed him down the corridor.
“I’ve had enough of an indoctrination into your sex life over the past three years, really don’t want to hear anymore about it. But I know the drive is high for you, so, if you aren’t getting any, then you need to take steps,” Bones snarled at him as he stopped and turned around to face Jim.
Bones eyes were a darker green when he was angry or annoyed at something Jim noted as he tilted his head to the side, all the better to observe Bones. When Jim noted the pursing of Bones’ mouth, readying itself to deliver another tirade, he couldn’t seem to help himself.
“Well, as my physician are you offering to ‘help me out’?” he smirked at Bones.
“Unbelievable,”’ Bones muttered as he stepped even closer to Jim.
Close enough that Jim kept his hands clasped tight behind his back to stop himself from grabbing at Bones. He tried to keep his facial expressions as neutral as possible, which was hard considering that all he had to do to kiss the man was lean just a little bit forward.
Obviously it wasn’t good enough considering Bones’ next words.
“See, you can’t hide things from me. Something is up and you need to not avoid it, Jim.”
“I’m fine. It’s like I said before, just a little stir crazy like everyone else,” Jim said as he shook his head.
“Jim...”
“What? Are you seriously offering to help me out, Bones? Man, you work hard, I work hard, Spock works hard and when I get back to the room there are the two of you there, so how do you want me to deal with it?” Jim’s patience was wearing a little thin, he knew, but Bones kept pushing and the man was right there, in his face and smelling... Oh God, I’m turning into a teenage girl, Jim thought.
Bones blinked at him in surprise and Jim wanted to turn and bash his head against the wall. He hadn’t thought that thought, he’d said it.
“You are many things Jim, of which we could be here all afternoon listing them out. Teenage girl is not one of them.”
“Right, okay, so maybe you might be onto something with the stir craziness going on,” Jim mumbled.
A hand reached up to cradle his cheek and Jim tried desperately not to jump but failed.
“Shit, Bones! Warn a guy!” Jim exclaimed.
“Look, sorry,” Bones said as he slid his hand back off Jim’s cheek.
Jim took a deep breath in as he tried desperately to memorize the feeling of those long fingers sliding slowly down his face. Soft to the touch on the pads of his fingers but there was a callus or two here and there. Bones wasn’t afraid of getting his hands dirty.
As the touch finally left him Jim couldn’t help but look at Bones. The corridor was in silence apart from the breaths that he could hear from just the two of them. Bones’ eyes were looking down as his hand was still in the air, not moving from where it had just left his skin. His lips were slightly parted and all Jim could do was stare at them. Fixating on the pinkness of them, the rough, dry skin on the outer edges, the full bottom lip with the cupid’s bow above, that Jim knew disappeared into a straight thin line when Bones’ smiled. There was a darkness in the small gap between his lips, calling to Jim, making him want to explore and see what he could find within.
“Aw, fuck it!” Jim breathed out as he finally stopped resisting. Bones’ lips were as soft as he had thought they would be. His hair a little spikey to the touch of his palms. Bones had breathed in as Jim pressed a kiss to his lips and appeared to be holding it in. It took but a moment for Jim to realize that Bones wasn’t responding, just standing there and letting Jim kiss him.
Jim broke the kiss and without looking once at Bones, turned and headed back towards the safety of the turbo lift.
“Thanks, Bones. I think you might be onto something,” Jim waved his hand in the air as he walked swiftly away and refused to look backwards.
As he entered the lift, that mercifully arrived almost as soon as he called it, he sank back onto the wall when the doors shut themselves.
“Well that answered that,” Jim mused to himself.
He had an answer to his question. That yes, as he suspected, Bones wasn’t interested in him. Many people said many things about James T. Kirk but one thing he knew about himself; if someone wasn’t interested, he didn’t force the issue. Uhura was proof of that. She had shot him down enough that it became a game between them as to who could get as inventive. She became a challenge for him to get her to tell him her name. He still hadn’t heard it, and until he did, he wouldn’t call her Nyota. Bones’ non-response told him that he didn’t think of Jim in that way, so all he could hope for now was that his mind would clue into that and stop it’s fantasizing.
***
Jim knew that he should have have known better.
His mind didn’t stop and in fact things might possibly been a little more uncomfortable for himself as he now knew exactly what Bones smelled like up close, how his lips tasted, how his hair felt under his palms and didn’t that just make it work overtime. It thought about all the other parts of him that he could taste, the other areas that he could feel.
He thought he did an excellent job of things going back to normal. He still teased and if there was a hint of something a little more to it, he was sure he did a pretty good job of hiding it. Touching Bones was fraught with danger, so he tried to keep it within acceptable and friendly limits.
Days passed and they settled into a comfortable routine and Jim was happy. He still had Bones, any way he could get him and they were nearly home. Only a couple more days and they would all be back on Terra Firma.
Jim smiled to himself as he walked down the corridors of Deck Eight again. He trailed a hand along the wall. Touching and making a connection with this lovely lady that had been his to protect and look after for a short period. Soon she would be gone from him but he was taking his time to say thank you to her for protecting them all as best she could.
He stopped dead in his tracks as he rounded a corner. There, leaning up against the wall was Bones, eyes narrowed slightly as he watched Jim. Arms were crossed across his chest and one foot was crossed over the other and resting gently on the floor. He was the picture of a relaxed and at ease man, but there was something about the set of his shoulders that had Jim a little wary.
“You know kid, you really do have all the subtlety of a fish!” Bones said in a normal conversational tone.
“What? That doesn’t make any sense. There are lots of species of fish that have exceptional subtle defenses, like...”
“Shut up, Jim,” Bones said as he pushed away from the wall and prowled, yes that move could only be considered a prowl, Jim decided.
Jim also decided to obey Bones and shut up. Bones was moving with such intent that Jim had never seen him like this before.
“You kissed me,” Bones told him as he placed both hands on either side of Jim’s head on the wall, effectively holding him in place without touch.
“Right, about that...” Jim began to attempt to speak again.
“I done told you to shut up and you will shut up. My turn to speak a piece,” Bones leaned in a little closer, eyes narrowed and intent. So green amongst the hazel.
“Kissed me and ran and if that wasn’t pure James T. Kirk, I don’t know what is,” Bones told him conversationally. “Didn’t give me a chance, did you, kid?”
Jim opened his mouth to speak and protest but all that meant was the Bones leaned forward again until their lips were almost touching.
“Surprised me you did, and then you tried to pretend that everything was normal. Normal, my ass. You watch me and God knows how I missed it earlier. How long you been watching me, Jim? How long was it before you decided that you wouldn’t hold back anymore? Isn’t that so unlike you, no leap but waiting. You flirted, but you flirt with everything, including this damn ship. Don’t tell me that you aren’t walking along feeling her up right this moment. How could I miss it? And then you stopped touching me.” Bones leaned back, moving a little away from Jim and he couldn’t be having that. Jim followed him with his body.
“God, Jim. You took that away from me. I missed it, Lord how I missed it. So if you won’t touch me, I’m just gonna have to do it myself, aren’t I?”
Jim had seconds, maybe not even that, before he was being touched. Touched from head to toe with Bones all along his front and his back was pressed hard into the wall. Jim groaned as Bones deepened the kiss, flicking his tongue out to lick between his lips and then Jim had enough of being passive and resorted to his own tactics. Namely getting his hands on as much of Bones as he could.
Later Jim laughed at the idea of the eyeful any of his crew might have gotten as they themselves rounded the corner to see him and Bones trying to get as close to each other as humanly possible. but, right in that moment he couldn’t give a stuff about being captain and responsibilities. Bones was kissing him, kissing him with a fair amount of talent, he admitted. Jim ran his hands up to grasp at Bones’ shoulders, wide, strong shoulders. That pressure caused Jim to tilt his hips and one or both of them groaned as they rubbed up against each other. Bones used what strength he had to push Jim further back into the wall. Trapping him between the two creatures that had held his attention for the past week.
Panting they finally broke apart.
“Whuh?” Jim managed to get out.
Bones smiled, a sly smile at him. “You’re an idiot, Jim.”
“Am not!” Jim protested which just made Bones smile even more.
“Didn’t give me a chance, you just ran. Cocooned yourself back into your normal patterns of protection.”
“You weren’t interested. I don’t force myself on people if they aren’t interested,” Jim explained.
“I was right. Idiot,” Bones announced.
Jim pushed at his chest, “Hey!”
Bones laughed as he leaned back in so that their noses were touching.
“You kissed me for seconds, didn’t give me a chance to, I was that shocked,” Bones told him. “Kept kisses from me, wasted them.”
“Wasn’t seconds and it was long enough,” Jim wanted to cross his arms across his chest in protest but there was no room, Bones was pressing him back into the wall again.
“Never be long enough,” Bones mouthed into his lips and then he was kissing him again.
A deep and dirty kiss, just the way Jim liked them. Well, if he was true to himself then he would admit that whatever Bones did it would end up being what Jim liked.
Jim got his hands onto Bones’ ass and the resultant growl he made deep in his throat had Jim chuckling into the kiss.
“Spock’s gonna be tied up all shift. So nice of him to volunteer for Beta, don’tcha think?” Bones asked as he used his nose to tilt up Jim’s head so he could then press kisses to the underside of Jim’s chin.
“Uh huh,” Jim agreed.
“I think we need to head back to our room to celebrate that you didn’t die. Agree?” Bones asked.
“God, yes. Neither did you. If you weren’t on the Bridge,” Jim said as he shook his head at how close he had come to losing Bones on that first day.
“I don’t know how thankful you are about my being on the Bridge. I’m sorry, Jim, I should have...” Bones said before Jim clamped a hand over his mouth.
“Don’t you fucking dare apologize. I was stupid to do what I did. Yeah, you should have stuck up for me if I wasn’t being a completely insubordinate prick. I gave Spock no choice but to act and you did try and warn me, but I didn’t listen. To make up for it, I’m listening now and wasn’t there something about going back to our room?” Jim leaned forward to press another kiss to Bones’ lips. He didn’t think he was ever gonna get enough of them, but tonight might be nice to start an experiment and see if he could.
Bones was the one to break the kiss this time and the little sideways look he gave Jim was enough to make Jim push him back away from the wall, grab his hand and head for the turbo lift as fast as he could without looking too suspicious to any of his crew that might be around.
Bones’ deep rumbling laugh surrounded him and as he walked into the lift, he turned back to smile at the man who was his touchstone, his best friend and his family. All he could hope was that sometime soon they would be back on ship together, maybe even this one and head out to explore the universe, but first he wanted to explore something a little closer to home, so he tugged on Bones hand and pulled him towards him so that he could continue with the kisses.
Sometimes good things do come to those who wait.
“Or are too stupid to get a clue,” Bones replied and Jim mentally smacked himself for speaking thoughts out loud again. Bones had some magic spell to make him forget his brain to mouth filter.
Jim smiled. One thing was for sure, they would never be normal.
***
Kisses
Kisses kept are wasted;
Love is to be tasted.
There are some you love, I know;
Be not loathe to tell them so.
Lips go dry and eyes grow wet
Waiting to be warmly met.
Keep them not in waiting yet;
Kisses kept are wasted.
Edmund Vance Cooke
Betas: selinamoonfire and 7ofEleven
Word Count: 6,192
Rating: R
Pairings, Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Spock/Uhura
Disclaimer: Not mine, dammit!
Summary: As the Enterprise slowly makes it way back toward Earth, an epiphany comes to Jim Kirk about his relationship with his best friend.
A/N: This is a birthday fic for my lovely aquila_star. Normally I write her porn for her birthday as what more could a girl want? But instead this year she wanted some UST and a first kiss between the boys as she is with child and due to drop the sprog in early December. Pregnant women, I don’t know... ;) Love you, honey and I hope you like it.
Jim sat in the mess, chin in his hands as he stared down at the food in front of him. He didn’t see the food; his mind was running through all the various lists and jobs that needed doing still. Nero might have been dealt with but their problems were far from over.
Amongst all the numbers, names, faces and myriad small details that came with running a ship that were flashing before his eyes, one item stood out, something he had forgotten to deal with earlier. Scotty would need an answer and had probably been waiting on it all afternoon. He pushed back from the table, the chair scraping along the floor quietly. As he started to rise a hand gripped his shoulder and stopped his momentum upwards.
“Sit back down, Jim,” Bones said quietly to him. “Whatever it is can wait.”
“Bones -” Jim started to explain.
“Sit!” Bones glared at him, his eyebrows attempting to meet in the space above his nose.
“But...”
“Don’t make me pull out that CMO bullshit, Captain,” Bones threatened, or was it a promise?
“Fine,” Jim grumbled. “But as long as you do too.”
“I don’t come to the mess just to hang around, Jim,” Bones was looking at him with one of his many looks of disapproval.
Jim had previously considered for his dissertation that a paper explaining the many and varied facial expressions of Bones might be helpful for future Starfleet medical personnel, and possibly those that have to deal with him now, but he’d dismissed it as taking up too much time in order to research and prepare it thoroughly. That and the fact that they assigned you a topic for your dissertation. Jim still worked on a version in his head. It was likely to be a work in progress for the rest of his life.
“God damn it, Jim, can you actually stop thinking for a while?” Bones grumbled as he pulled the chair out next to Jim’s and sat down. He pulled the tray of barely eaten food over towards him and started eating some of it.
“You right there, Bones?” Jim asked with a smile as he sat back down in his chair.
“Just dandy,” Bones replied with a little look out of the side of his eyes. He just kept eating off Jim’s tray unrepentantly.
Jim shrugged and made his own selection and started eating too.
In companionable silence they ate from Jim’s tray. Any time Jim’s mind would start to wander off and start thinking of jobs still to do, Bones seemed to instinctively know and with a poke on his arm, Jim would turn, smile at him and go back to watching his tired crew.
At one stage, Jim caught a crew member yawning and, just like that, he had to yawn himself.
“That’s it! If you don’t head back to the room after this, I will sedate you,” Bones told him quietly.
“He started it,” Jim said as he pointed towards the crew member who was to blame.
“I don’t care if Spock started it, you keep pushing yourself, and you won’t be of any use to anyone. Now, you will get your ass to our room and you will attempt to sleep.” Bones had turned sideways in the chair to deliver his little speech.
“You gonna tuck me in too?” Jim asked, as there was just something in the way Bones was speaking to him that made him feel like a kid being sent to bed without any supper.
“I’ll God damn read you a bed time story if I thought it would help you stay in the damn bed,” Bones was refusing to look at Jim as he threatened Jim with the prospect of a bed time story.
Jim took the time to look at his friend, really look at him. There was tiredness in Bones’ face if you knew where to look. The little pinch in the bridge of his nose. The lines etched deeper around the corners of his mouth. The stubble, that no matter how he tried, would be coming back each evening, that helped to hide the signs from others, but not from Jim.
“Okay, I’ll go on one condition,” Jim told Bones.
Bones turned his head quickly back towards him, a wary look in the eyes. “This ain’t no compromise, you need sleep. We’ve all been running on adrenaline these past few days. Finally catching up with everyone.”
“Precisely,” Jim agreed.
“What?” There was the look of shock. It was a rare look that most others saw, but it was one Jim knew well. He did manage to get that look to appear almost as much as one of the versions of the ‘angry face’.
“It’s finally catching up on everyone, you included.”
“Now wait a cotton picking minute,” Bones started to protest.
Jim reached across to rest a hand on Bones’ shoulder and grip gently. “See, you get even more Southern when you are tired. I’m tired. You’re tired. We need sleep. So, I’ll go back to the room and attempt to sleep on one condition. You do it too.”
Bones was calculating the compromise that Jim offered. It was probably best for him to attempt to sleep, even though there was still so much to do, Jim thought, but he was going to try and get Bones to do it as well. It was like the pot calling the kettle black.
Bones opened his mouth and Jim just knew he was going to try and get out of it. Jim just tilted his head slightly to the side mockingly. That shut up Bones.
“Fine,” he agreed with all the politeness of a feral cat caught in a trap.
Jim picked up the tray and stood up.
“Huh?” Bones looked up at him, totally confused by Jim’s quick actions it seemed.
“C’mon then,” Jim told him as he turned and walked over towards the disposal unit. He knew that getting Bones to finally agree to something he didn’t want to do was a major achievement but that he had to act swiftly before Bones came up with alternative ideas or ways out of it.
Once Jim had disposed of the tray he turned around to find that Bones had followed him, his expression had now changed to one of slight confusion. As if he wasn’t sure how on earth he had ended up following Jim. Bones wasn’t the only one to use that expression on a regular basis around Jim.
Jim slapped Bones on the shoulder again, and leaving his hand on the breadth of it, directed Bones to walk with him out of the mess and towards their room. Like at dinner they didn’t need to talk. Jim could feel the heat radiating off Bones through his palm. As various crew passed them and nodded or saluted as required, Jim still kept his hand on Bones’ shoulder. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to let go.
When they reached their room, Bones keyed in their code and the door swished open almost silently.
“Lights,” Bones started to order them, as the room was cloaked in darkness.
“Fifteen percent,” Jim finished the order.
As the lights slowly faded on and bathed the room in just enough light that they could see, they stepped inside, the door closing behind them and taking the bright lights of the corridor with it.
Jim blinked once to help his eyes adjust to the light and the outline that he saw when the door opened was now revealed to be truth.
Spock was sitting on the floor, one hand resting on the bed, but the rest of him leaning up against the bed. His hand was lying on the mattress. Next to his hand was a smaller, darker one. Curled up on Spock’s bed was Uhura, fast asleep.
“I’ll get that bedtime story some other time,” Jim whispered at Bones. He didn’t want to disturb either Spock or Uhura.
Bones nodded.
“Mind you I reckon I’ll need a kiss goodnight to go along with it too,” Jim continued to whisper.
As suspected, a glare was the next option he received from Bones.
Jim grinned as he patted Bones once on the shoulder before he moved over towards his bed, pulling his shirt over his head. He reached down to pull off his boots and then as quietly as he could manage he slipped under his sheet and settled down into his bed.
He could hear Bones moving about attempting to keep noise to a minimum as well as he readied himself for bed.
Jim knew that the more that you tried to minimise noise the louder everything became. Bones, it seemed, knew the same trick. Don’t try and be too quiet, you end up make even more noise.
Jim lay facing Spock and Uhura. There were so many questions he had about where it had all started for the pair of them, in the first instance, but they appeared so content laying there. It couldn’t be comfortable for Spock but there was just something about Uhura’s presence that seemed to settle him. The presence of his father seemed to disturb his equilibrium, well as much as most Vulcan’s showed that sort of thing anyway.
So many questions Jim had, even more for the older version of Spock that he couldn’t explain.
“Lights, off,” Bones ordered and the room plunged unto darkness.
Jim took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to think of restful things. Iowa didn’t help, too many questions about his past and his mother. Where was Sam, will he be able to find him when he got back to Earth? The Academy just had memories of lives lost, never to be heard from again. Space was not the great adventure they told you. There was danger out here, more than was expected. Those first words from Bones really were right, darkness and disease wrapped up in what again? Silence. That’s what it was. What did calm him though was the deep breathing of Bones he could hear coming from the bed behind his own. Jim wondered if Bones was like Uhura. Intelligent, witty, forthright and just as she had seemed to get Spock to settle and rest. Bones had done the same for him, also Bones hadn’t left him like she hadn’t left Spock. Calmed, settled, cared for in ways he never expected is what Jim realised about Bones. Something new to ponder and add to the list.
Thoughts, ideas, things to do finally managed to recede for a time from Jim’s mind. They were still there, but they had retreated to the back stalls where they belonged for the time being, quietly making comments to annoy most other people, but Jim was used to the white noise of it. His eyes felt heavy and he finally drifted off to sleep.
***
Jim wasn’t one to wake up slowly, taking time for him orientate himself to where he was, for him he became wide awake and thoughts started to fly through his mind immediately. He blinked once to adjust to the low light in the room. As he focused he realised that he was lying on his side and he was facing Bones’ bed.
Bones asleep was vastly different than when he was awake. His face relaxed and he looked considerably younger than the grumpy old man he liked to act. Jim remembered what he realised last night. Just how much he relied on Bones. And there was what he had been trying not to think about. The time on the bridge where Bones didn’t speak.
Such a rare occurrence most would have thought and yet now that Jim could think about it, he probably owed Bones twice over. His trust in Bones had been dented when Bones hadn’t really said anything on the Bridge when Spock made the decision to throw him off the ship. Mostly when he was trekking across that ice planet, his thoughts kept flicking back to Bones. Well, they did until the big red thing started chasing him, then he didn’t think too much about anything apart from getting away. His thoughts though, had been flicking back and forth about his only real friend who didn’t back him up. He understood Spock’s reasoning and if it hadn’t of happened, then he would never have found Scotty or the knowledge to defeat Nero. It was Bones who bent Starfleet regulations to get him on this ship that had seen them through a trial by fire. Then it was Bones not helping him out that had helped get him on Delta Vega.
Bones might not be fully forgiven, Jim mused, but he understood why Bones didn’t or couldn’t show the dissent on the Bridge after Jim had attacked his fellow crew mates. All of this Jim thought as he watched the gentle rise and fall of Bones’ chest under his black undershirt. Like all Starfleet cadets, Bones had to take part in all the physical tests as well as mental. The man was fit and Jim knew it well. Running was Bones’ favorite form of exercise, probably because conversation was a little difficult while doing so. Although Jim did love to talk to him to annoy him.
Jim frowned as a realization came to him. One he sort of knew academically but looking at Bones as he slept became clear. Bones was a very attractive man. And one who Jim hoped would always be in his life. It wasn’t just one thing about Bones, it was all of him, from his seemingly caustic take on all aspects of life, to his loyalty and his sly sense of humor. Not many saw it, but Jim did after sharing a room with the man for three years.
The Academy showed Jim all the variety that was available in the Universe and as such he didn’t notice what he really should have. What was closest to him. Bones.
Jim got up, needing to get out of the room. As he did so he noticed Bones’ shirt hanging neatly over the end of his bed, the arm draped casually over the side and the Lieutenant Commander stripes. He gave a quiet snort as he remembered the day that Bones’ received his commission to that rank, the little raise of the chin as he looked over towards Jim. Bones outranked him from that moment on until just a few days ago. Jim walked slowly towards the shirt and lifted up the arm, fingering the braid slowly between his fingertips. He was sure that one day he would be Captain and outrank Bones again, then he would move the Heavens to make sure that Bones was his CMO. Things seemed to have moved quicker than any of them anticipated.
As he huffed out another breath he couldn’t help but drag his eyeline up the long, lean body of Bones. All the way up to his face, his lips just parted to allow him to breathe out and in. There was darkened stubble already making it’s presence felt on his face, such a contrast to the pale colour of his lips.
Jim closed his eyes and turned his head away as he dropped the sleeve. If he kept staring Bones would wake up and make some comment or other. He opened his and found he was looking over towards Spock’s bunk. Spock had made it back into his bed, but it was now sans Uhura. Jim noted that there was an indentation and from the way Spock was lying down, that she had recently been sharing it with him. Jim smiled slightly, as he turned and walked out of the room and headed towards the shared bathroom facilities on that level.
***
Jim frowned as he looked down at the PADD in front of him. The latest suggestions from Scotty about areas where power conservation could be considered. Off to his right stood the waiting Yeoman who had brought the information to him. To his left, now there was a conundrum. There was a man he was trying hard to not watch, but the viewscreen would provide him with a perfect reflection of the man every time he glanced up.
He couldn’t escape from Bones. He didn’t really want to but at the same time he wasn’t sure what his next move should or shouldn’t be. They shared a room still, with Spock as the awkward go between in a way. Lunch and dinner in the mess; he couldn’t avoid him. It was like back at the Academy but with one difference.
Before, he had looked forward to seeing Bones and hearing his grumbles and pithy comments about all the idiots that he had to deal with for that day. Although most of those might have been a reference to Jim at some stage. But now it was more an odd, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it didn’t matter if he had seen Bones or not. He was hyper aware of the man and he did wonder if it might be just the realization that they were alive. They had survived and Jim wanted to make sure of that by Bones being his touchstone.
Jim knew he was conflicted and had tried to keep things as normal as possible. He checked off on Scotty’s list, knowing that the Engineer was the best person really to make the call about what was and wasn’t required. Nothing stood out for him as being missing or needing a change. He held out the PADD for the Yeoman to take back to Scotty.
Jim hoped that no one noticed that he nearly jumped a mile in the air as he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder and a deep voice speak quietly in his ear, “walk with me, Jim.”
“Um,” Jim started to try and think of a reason why he needed to stay seated in the chair to do captainly things.
“Jim,” Bones repeated his name and his tone told Jim that it wasn’t a question, it was an order. He wanted to talk to him and not in front of everyone else on the bridge.
Jim got up from the chair, “Sulu, you have the conn,” he advised before he turned to follow Bones and the Yeoman into the turbolift.
When they got to Deck Eight, Bones got off the lift and turned towards Jim who was still lurking in the lift.
“Whatever,” Jim muttered as he got out and stood next to Bones.
The doors closed shut on the unfortunate Yeoman who had had to deal with their silence. Strangely there was no one walking around the corridors. Just the two of them.
“Walk with me,” Bones ordered and headed off door the corridor that ran parallel to the lift.
Jim had no option, apart from standing next to the lift like a lonely idiot, but to follow. He jogged the couple of steps that brought him next to Bones, he didn’t want any crew wandering around to think that he was following Bones like a lost puppy.
They walked for a while, Jim just following the path that Bones was leading him on. Occasionally there would be a crew member walking past but Deck Eight wasn’t that busy and obviously why Bones had chosen it.
All of a sudden Bones stopped and turned towards him. Jim stopped too and looked at Bones, still waiting to see why Bones was doing this.
“Sometimes I don’t get you, kid,” Bones said as he narrowed his eyes and contemplated Jim.
“I’m not that complicated,” Jim smiled back at him.
“Patience is most definitely not one of your virtues, well out of the few you do have, it ain’t one of them!” Bones had crossed his arms over his chest, pulling his shirt tight and putting on display the muscles that Jim had seen not long ago in their naked glory. The idea of a naked Bones chest had Jim fidgeting a little on his feet.
“See, that’s more like it. You can’t sit still, you can’t keep quiet and yet you managed to for nearly five minutes. Somethings up, so spill.” Bones pointed at Jim’s feet.
“Nothing’s up, just probably a little bit of cabin fever like everyone else,” Jim offered as an explanation. Telling your best friend that the problem was that you spent most of your waking hours thinking about them naked was very likely not to go down too well.
There went the eyebrow. Damn Bones and Spock for being able to do that so well. He could only hope that Spock never taught it to Uhura; girl was talented enough already at shooting him down.
“You know you can talk to me, Jim. I’m your friend, you can tell me anything but I’m also your CMO and it’s part of my job,” Bones explained calmly.
“Yeah, I know. It’s cool. Just got itchy feet is all. I mean, its taking us how long to get back? Most of us just want to see that friends and family are alright.” Jim had turned to look down the long corridor, still thankfully empty of crew. The mention of friends and family had Jim almost drawing a breath in as he realized something. He knew that Bones was his best friend, but he now realized that he was his family too, but he would always be second in Bones’ life.
“True. You know you ain’t half dumb at times,” Bones told him.
“Gee thanks there, Bones! Any time I need an ego boost I’ll make sure to call on you.” Jim made sure that his face was composed before he turned back to face Bones and smile as nonchalantly as possible.
“You don’t need any help in that department,” Bones grumbled which just made Jim smile wider. “Jim, you’ve been taking care of things, right?” Bones continued.
“Huh?” Jim asked, a little confused about the direction the conversation was now taking.
“You know, taking care of things.” Bones was waving one of his hands down towards his groin and Jim got the hint as to what Bones was alluding too. To add to Jim’s amusement was the faintest of blushes on Bones’ cheeks.
Jim’s grin got wider and he knew there must have been an answering twinkle in his eyes because Bones threw his hands up in the air and stomped off down the corridor again.
Jim laughed as he heard Bones’ grumbling away under his breath. “For my physician you sure are touchy about talking about my sex life,” Jim told Bones as he followed him down the corridor.
“I’ve had enough of an indoctrination into your sex life over the past three years, really don’t want to hear anymore about it. But I know the drive is high for you, so, if you aren’t getting any, then you need to take steps,” Bones snarled at him as he stopped and turned around to face Jim.
Bones eyes were a darker green when he was angry or annoyed at something Jim noted as he tilted his head to the side, all the better to observe Bones. When Jim noted the pursing of Bones’ mouth, readying itself to deliver another tirade, he couldn’t seem to help himself.
“Well, as my physician are you offering to ‘help me out’?” he smirked at Bones.
“Unbelievable,”’ Bones muttered as he stepped even closer to Jim.
Close enough that Jim kept his hands clasped tight behind his back to stop himself from grabbing at Bones. He tried to keep his facial expressions as neutral as possible, which was hard considering that all he had to do to kiss the man was lean just a little bit forward.
Obviously it wasn’t good enough considering Bones’ next words.
“See, you can’t hide things from me. Something is up and you need to not avoid it, Jim.”
“I’m fine. It’s like I said before, just a little stir crazy like everyone else,” Jim said as he shook his head.
“Jim...”
“What? Are you seriously offering to help me out, Bones? Man, you work hard, I work hard, Spock works hard and when I get back to the room there are the two of you there, so how do you want me to deal with it?” Jim’s patience was wearing a little thin, he knew, but Bones kept pushing and the man was right there, in his face and smelling... Oh God, I’m turning into a teenage girl, Jim thought.
Bones blinked at him in surprise and Jim wanted to turn and bash his head against the wall. He hadn’t thought that thought, he’d said it.
“You are many things Jim, of which we could be here all afternoon listing them out. Teenage girl is not one of them.”
“Right, okay, so maybe you might be onto something with the stir craziness going on,” Jim mumbled.
A hand reached up to cradle his cheek and Jim tried desperately not to jump but failed.
“Shit, Bones! Warn a guy!” Jim exclaimed.
“Look, sorry,” Bones said as he slid his hand back off Jim’s cheek.
Jim took a deep breath in as he tried desperately to memorize the feeling of those long fingers sliding slowly down his face. Soft to the touch on the pads of his fingers but there was a callus or two here and there. Bones wasn’t afraid of getting his hands dirty.
As the touch finally left him Jim couldn’t help but look at Bones. The corridor was in silence apart from the breaths that he could hear from just the two of them. Bones’ eyes were looking down as his hand was still in the air, not moving from where it had just left his skin. His lips were slightly parted and all Jim could do was stare at them. Fixating on the pinkness of them, the rough, dry skin on the outer edges, the full bottom lip with the cupid’s bow above, that Jim knew disappeared into a straight thin line when Bones’ smiled. There was a darkness in the small gap between his lips, calling to Jim, making him want to explore and see what he could find within.
“Aw, fuck it!” Jim breathed out as he finally stopped resisting. Bones’ lips were as soft as he had thought they would be. His hair a little spikey to the touch of his palms. Bones had breathed in as Jim pressed a kiss to his lips and appeared to be holding it in. It took but a moment for Jim to realize that Bones wasn’t responding, just standing there and letting Jim kiss him.
Jim broke the kiss and without looking once at Bones, turned and headed back towards the safety of the turbo lift.
“Thanks, Bones. I think you might be onto something,” Jim waved his hand in the air as he walked swiftly away and refused to look backwards.
As he entered the lift, that mercifully arrived almost as soon as he called it, he sank back onto the wall when the doors shut themselves.
“Well that answered that,” Jim mused to himself.
He had an answer to his question. That yes, as he suspected, Bones wasn’t interested in him. Many people said many things about James T. Kirk but one thing he knew about himself; if someone wasn’t interested, he didn’t force the issue. Uhura was proof of that. She had shot him down enough that it became a game between them as to who could get as inventive. She became a challenge for him to get her to tell him her name. He still hadn’t heard it, and until he did, he wouldn’t call her Nyota. Bones’ non-response told him that he didn’t think of Jim in that way, so all he could hope for now was that his mind would clue into that and stop it’s fantasizing.
***
Jim knew that he should have have known better.
His mind didn’t stop and in fact things might possibly been a little more uncomfortable for himself as he now knew exactly what Bones smelled like up close, how his lips tasted, how his hair felt under his palms and didn’t that just make it work overtime. It thought about all the other parts of him that he could taste, the other areas that he could feel.
He thought he did an excellent job of things going back to normal. He still teased and if there was a hint of something a little more to it, he was sure he did a pretty good job of hiding it. Touching Bones was fraught with danger, so he tried to keep it within acceptable and friendly limits.
Days passed and they settled into a comfortable routine and Jim was happy. He still had Bones, any way he could get him and they were nearly home. Only a couple more days and they would all be back on Terra Firma.
Jim smiled to himself as he walked down the corridors of Deck Eight again. He trailed a hand along the wall. Touching and making a connection with this lovely lady that had been his to protect and look after for a short period. Soon she would be gone from him but he was taking his time to say thank you to her for protecting them all as best she could.
He stopped dead in his tracks as he rounded a corner. There, leaning up against the wall was Bones, eyes narrowed slightly as he watched Jim. Arms were crossed across his chest and one foot was crossed over the other and resting gently on the floor. He was the picture of a relaxed and at ease man, but there was something about the set of his shoulders that had Jim a little wary.
“You know kid, you really do have all the subtlety of a fish!” Bones said in a normal conversational tone.
“What? That doesn’t make any sense. There are lots of species of fish that have exceptional subtle defenses, like...”
“Shut up, Jim,” Bones said as he pushed away from the wall and prowled, yes that move could only be considered a prowl, Jim decided.
Jim also decided to obey Bones and shut up. Bones was moving with such intent that Jim had never seen him like this before.
“You kissed me,” Bones told him as he placed both hands on either side of Jim’s head on the wall, effectively holding him in place without touch.
“Right, about that...” Jim began to attempt to speak again.
“I done told you to shut up and you will shut up. My turn to speak a piece,” Bones leaned in a little closer, eyes narrowed and intent. So green amongst the hazel.
“Kissed me and ran and if that wasn’t pure James T. Kirk, I don’t know what is,” Bones told him conversationally. “Didn’t give me a chance, did you, kid?”
Jim opened his mouth to speak and protest but all that meant was the Bones leaned forward again until their lips were almost touching.
“Surprised me you did, and then you tried to pretend that everything was normal. Normal, my ass. You watch me and God knows how I missed it earlier. How long you been watching me, Jim? How long was it before you decided that you wouldn’t hold back anymore? Isn’t that so unlike you, no leap but waiting. You flirted, but you flirt with everything, including this damn ship. Don’t tell me that you aren’t walking along feeling her up right this moment. How could I miss it? And then you stopped touching me.” Bones leaned back, moving a little away from Jim and he couldn’t be having that. Jim followed him with his body.
“God, Jim. You took that away from me. I missed it, Lord how I missed it. So if you won’t touch me, I’m just gonna have to do it myself, aren’t I?”
Jim had seconds, maybe not even that, before he was being touched. Touched from head to toe with Bones all along his front and his back was pressed hard into the wall. Jim groaned as Bones deepened the kiss, flicking his tongue out to lick between his lips and then Jim had enough of being passive and resorted to his own tactics. Namely getting his hands on as much of Bones as he could.
Later Jim laughed at the idea of the eyeful any of his crew might have gotten as they themselves rounded the corner to see him and Bones trying to get as close to each other as humanly possible. but, right in that moment he couldn’t give a stuff about being captain and responsibilities. Bones was kissing him, kissing him with a fair amount of talent, he admitted. Jim ran his hands up to grasp at Bones’ shoulders, wide, strong shoulders. That pressure caused Jim to tilt his hips and one or both of them groaned as they rubbed up against each other. Bones used what strength he had to push Jim further back into the wall. Trapping him between the two creatures that had held his attention for the past week.
Panting they finally broke apart.
“Whuh?” Jim managed to get out.
Bones smiled, a sly smile at him. “You’re an idiot, Jim.”
“Am not!” Jim protested which just made Bones smile even more.
“Didn’t give me a chance, you just ran. Cocooned yourself back into your normal patterns of protection.”
“You weren’t interested. I don’t force myself on people if they aren’t interested,” Jim explained.
“I was right. Idiot,” Bones announced.
Jim pushed at his chest, “Hey!”
Bones laughed as he leaned back in so that their noses were touching.
“You kissed me for seconds, didn’t give me a chance to, I was that shocked,” Bones told him. “Kept kisses from me, wasted them.”
“Wasn’t seconds and it was long enough,” Jim wanted to cross his arms across his chest in protest but there was no room, Bones was pressing him back into the wall again.
“Never be long enough,” Bones mouthed into his lips and then he was kissing him again.
A deep and dirty kiss, just the way Jim liked them. Well, if he was true to himself then he would admit that whatever Bones did it would end up being what Jim liked.
Jim got his hands onto Bones’ ass and the resultant growl he made deep in his throat had Jim chuckling into the kiss.
“Spock’s gonna be tied up all shift. So nice of him to volunteer for Beta, don’tcha think?” Bones asked as he used his nose to tilt up Jim’s head so he could then press kisses to the underside of Jim’s chin.
“Uh huh,” Jim agreed.
“I think we need to head back to our room to celebrate that you didn’t die. Agree?” Bones asked.
“God, yes. Neither did you. If you weren’t on the Bridge,” Jim said as he shook his head at how close he had come to losing Bones on that first day.
“I don’t know how thankful you are about my being on the Bridge. I’m sorry, Jim, I should have...” Bones said before Jim clamped a hand over his mouth.
“Don’t you fucking dare apologize. I was stupid to do what I did. Yeah, you should have stuck up for me if I wasn’t being a completely insubordinate prick. I gave Spock no choice but to act and you did try and warn me, but I didn’t listen. To make up for it, I’m listening now and wasn’t there something about going back to our room?” Jim leaned forward to press another kiss to Bones’ lips. He didn’t think he was ever gonna get enough of them, but tonight might be nice to start an experiment and see if he could.
Bones was the one to break the kiss this time and the little sideways look he gave Jim was enough to make Jim push him back away from the wall, grab his hand and head for the turbo lift as fast as he could without looking too suspicious to any of his crew that might be around.
Bones’ deep rumbling laugh surrounded him and as he walked into the lift, he turned back to smile at the man who was his touchstone, his best friend and his family. All he could hope was that sometime soon they would be back on ship together, maybe even this one and head out to explore the universe, but first he wanted to explore something a little closer to home, so he tugged on Bones hand and pulled him towards him so that he could continue with the kisses.
Sometimes good things do come to those who wait.
“Or are too stupid to get a clue,” Bones replied and Jim mentally smacked himself for speaking thoughts out loud again. Bones had some magic spell to make him forget his brain to mouth filter.
Jim smiled. One thing was for sure, they would never be normal.
***
Kisses
Kisses kept are wasted;
Love is to be tasted.
There are some you love, I know;
Be not loathe to tell them so.
Lips go dry and eyes grow wet
Waiting to be warmly met.
Keep them not in waiting yet;
Kisses kept are wasted.
Edmund Vance Cooke