New Fic: Once More: Consequences Pt. 1 wip (Star Trek Reboot fandom)
This is a sequel to Once More. I need to edit 'Once More' a bit better so I may delete those previous posts soon and replace them, but only after I've finished going over the whole story again and then I'll repost all at once so they aren't jumbled. Anyway, I can't stop thinking about the sequel so I am writing that instead of editing, bad Nikita. But I've gone over this one a little more careful so it should be readable. I also think the sequel will be better than the first story, personally, because I think Nu!Spock needed tweeking and getting into his mindset and he's very intense and there's no way the bond will be a secret and then the consequences are going to come out and future missions - well, I just am really excited as you can probably tell. Anyhow - here's part one. Spoiler alert: Kirk finds out! hee hee!!
Title: Once More: Consequences
Author: Nikita
Pairing: TOS Spock/AOS McCoy, ? for now.
Author's notes: I know I'm wordy and I'm no pwp gal, so if that's your cup of tea only, might as well move on. But, for this I'm exploring McCoy's new bond away from his Spock (old!Spock) and nu!Spock finding out so I think it might be fun. Please note that sometimes there are flashbacks to McCoy's time with old Spock at the colony and that since he thinks of both Spocks as simply Spock - it can get confusing. Well, the whole situation is confusing so it kind of fits. I try my best to clue you in on which Spock is which, but if you are really confused let me know and I'll try to reword things. From what feedback I got from the first part my grammar sucks. Thanks, I'll be sure to turn in my English minor in disgrace. Flying without a beta, heavy pain meds and rewriting scenes, often sentences within the scene, and changes in universes, time, flashbacks, telepathy, etc.- it all has my head spinning anyway. You are forewarned: grammar be damned I just like telling a story. And the story won't wait for my poor brain to catch up.
Pt. 1
Leonard H. McCoy sat back in his seat on the shuttle back to the Enterprise and tried to calm the whirling thoughts within himself as they were approaching the Enterprise soon and he wanted his mind to be as clear and focused as possible.
He'd never thought he'd get married again, that's for damned sure. After what his wife put him through - he'd sworn off it. Never again would he let someone into his life that deeply - never again would he promise to love and cherish another only to be betrayed and then ripped to pieces. And yet here he was married - or the Vulcan equivalent - an even stronger bond than a human marriage to a 155-year old Vulcan male from the future - or an alternative version of the future, whatever.
It wasn't exactly how he'd seen things going when he'd first agreed to go to New Vulcan and help the survivors with their 'medical situation.' 'Situation' - that had been putting it mildly - as only Vulcans could do best. He'd assisted in more than fifty births, trained his staff to handle the rest and - oh yes, experienced the Pon Farr first hand. That first encounter with Spock in the shuttle had been just the tip of the iceberg, compared to what had happened afterwards.
***
It had taken a little more convincing to get Spock to formally bond with him, but in the end it wasn't Sarek or T'Pau who had convinced the recalcitrant Vulcan - McCoy had laid it out logically - what would McCoy's counterpart have wanted? Would he have wanted Spock to commit suicide? Would he have wanted him to abandon the newly founded colony - a colony that needed his vast knowledge and wisdom to guide it? And then, once convincing Sarek and T'Pau to give them a moment alone, he did what he'd seen in his mind during their time on the shuttle together when Spock had shared his memories with him. He'd taken Spock's hand in his own and traced his two forefingers against Spock's, sliding them up and down as he'd seen in Spock's mind.
The sensation they had both felt had been indescribable for McCoy, but he'd laid himself out vulnerable to Spock, showing the love he felt for him. He knew there was a huge age difference, he knew they were from different universes; he knew he wasn't Spock's T'hyla from that universe that would not be anymore. He knew all this, but he had experienced the deep love, affection, desire, and passion through the meld - and he'd fallen in love with him - it was no illusion, though perhaps part echo, but also real feelings within the short time he'd known him.
Did Spock not feel the same way? He had seen McCoy's past in the meld - it was not much different than the McCoy of the other universe - it was true - he didn't have the years they had spent together on the Enterprise and after, but did he feel no love for the man standing before him? He demanded Spock answer him and Spock had nodded with a sob, his fingers trembling as they traced Leonard's in return. It wouldn't be the same relationship Spock had had with the other McCoy, but that didn't mean they couldn't forge a new one.
After a formal ceremony with T'Pau presiding, they spent the next few days alone together in Spock's room. It wasn't exactly the kind of honeymoon a human could wish for, but they'd made do. Refreshments of fruit, some type of porridge substance, water, and vitamin supplements were left discretely outside their door at regular intervals. McCoy would snake a hand out the door and drag it in, towel wrapped around his waist. Spock was insatiable - 'who would have thought the old man had it in him?' he had thought, as the Pon Farr fires had finally seemed to cool.
//Is that a compliment, T'hyla, or an insult?//
McCoy had laughed and set the latest tray down on the table. "Not an insult, that's for sure, it's just surprising is all. I would have thought your human half would have slowed you down a tad."
Spock gave him a rare smile, small, but still a genuine smile. "It is the Pon Farr - under regular conditions, though, I believe I would have the sexual drive of a man around 50 earth years. Not as virile as you, but still quite capable."
McCoy smiled at that. "And will we get to test out that theory of yours?"
Spock sat up from his position in bed and pulled a robe on. "The Pon Farr has abated by now. My mind is clear and I feel no more affects of the burning. We could test it now, but I think you would most likely appreciate eating and resting for now."
McCoy winced as he sat down to eat. "Yes, I could do with a rest. Actually, I need to check you over after we've eaten and make sure you really are through the Pon Farr before releasing you back to your duties...and then I'm afraid I must return to mine at the medical facilities."
Spock reached for a slice of fruit and remained sitting on the bed. McCoy looked around the small dismal room and though if he was going to visit him on New Vulcan more, he was going to have to talk to Spock about getting a bigger room - and some more furniture.
//As a bonded couple we will of course have larger accommodations - they will be far more comfortable on your next visit.//
Which only reminded McCoy of his short time on the colony. He had one more week and then there would be a shuttle taking him back to the Enterprise. He stretched a hand out and stroked the back of Spock's hand. The tension and stoicism was gone from his face, and he seemed so much more different than when McCoy had met him - not to mention his counterpart on the Enterprise - this Spock seemed content and almost...happy. McCoy was thrilled to think he had a small part in that.
//You do - a large part - I have not felt this way in many years...and I am content to think I have some part in your happy emotions I feel right now.//
McCoy decided to practice his own telepathic speech that Spock had been teaching him through the bond, //You have and more - I feel...I don't know exactly, perhaps, complete, whole. Like there was something missing and I didn't even realize it. After Jocelyn...I never thought I'd love again. I never thought I'd want to risk my emotional well being by depending on another.//
//I felt the same way.//
And realizing Spock meant the other McCoy, Leonard fell silent, irrationally jealous at his other counterpart - a silly emotion to have, really.
Spock stroked his two fingers against McCoy's, //I do not fool myself that you are the same person, you are different and yet not. I love you and I do not expect you to behave or act in the same manner - you are your own person for all your similarities and differences. And our relationship will be very different. No one can know what will happen for sure - especially between us - I know all these things and accept them. Do you? You will be returning to the Enterprise soon - I will not see you again for an indeterminate amount of time, yet I will look forward to your return. I hope you will as well.//
McCoy had nodded and traced their fingers back and forth, enjoying the tingling sensation and the mental intimacy. He was so content he could almost think of changing his mind and staying. How could he leave such happiness behind?
//No, T'hyla, you have your duties and I have mine. You belong on the Enterprise - and Jim and my counterpart will need you just as you will need them.//
"Damned know-it-all Vulcan," McCoy hissed pulling his hand free - "just because things happened one way in one universe doesn't mean they have to be the same in this one. You just said so yourself. And they can't be the same. Just look around you - your people are endangered, living on a strange land, the Klingon Empire is nearly decimated, Jim's captain years ahead of his time and your counterpart...well, I saw you in that other universe in my mind - you two are not much alike. How can you tell me that my going back is necessary? I can make my own decisions, thank you very much."
Spock nodded. "I know. But I also know that Jim needs you - and so do the rest of the bridge crew and the ship itself - and your arguments were always a counterbalance to my own - my counterpart is no different in that respect - he has much to learn - all of you do. You three together strike a balance - one you were just finding when I called for you. //I did not make the decision lightly, but I needed you then and now I must release you, no matter how much I will miss you.//
McCoy was choked up, far more upset than he'd expected. //Say that again, out loud.//
"I will miss you," Spock said softly. "But you and I both know your duty lies on the Enterprise and thanks to you I realize now that I still am needed here. //And that I am still wanted and loved...// But we will make time for one another, I hope." //Leonard, parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched....// Spock's deep voice resonated in his head, reassuring.
Leonard stood and went over to the bed, wrapping his arms around the older man and kissing him passionately. It was not a Vulcan custom to kiss, but a human one - one that the other McCoy had taught Spock well over the years.
They held one another for what seemed like an eternity, slowly merging their minds and making love - no burning or rituals involved. Simply exploring each other's bodies again, this time without urgency.
McCoy marveled in beholding the green-tinted member rising at his touch. He'd never had sex with an alien before and the experience had been thankfully not too different to ruin the mood. Vulcans were quite similar in many respects - especially those that mattered right now. He gave the cock a long lick and enjoyed Spock's gasp. Their previous encounters had all been about penetration and the Vulcan need to plant his seed deep in his lover's body. 'Now,' McCoy, thought, 'there are a few other things we can do since it seems the Pon Farr is indeed over. McCoy licked again and then began to swirl his tongue when - '
"Excuse me, Doctor McCoy? We're docking with the Enterprise in approximately 5 minutes, you asked me to let you know," the Ensign called over his shoulder.
McCoy was shocked out of his memory with an unpleasant reminder of where he was and scowled at the back of the man's head, he quickly made sure his bag was still on his lap and thanked the pilot tersely. Damn it, was he going to start behaving like a horny teenager now? He'd had more sex in those few weeks than he could remember having in too many years to count. Surely he should be tired by now.
He excused himself to the 'fresher, bag still strategically placed, and locked himself in. Looking at his flushed face he hoped the Ensign hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary while McCoy was so deep into his own memories. He splashed cold water on his face and thought of ice cold showers and his great Aunt Fannie's underpants flapping in the breeze on the clothesline he'd seen once as a boy while visiting her.
There, problem solved. For now. However was he going to face months without his husband? The loneliness he usually dealt with just fine on his own suddenly seemed magnified and he wasn't quite sure he'd be able to handle it as well. He'd have to find a way to rein it in and content himself with communicating with Spock through subspace messages like other couples did. He'd find a way, he reassured himself. He could make do with what he little he had, he always had in the past.
***
Walking aboard the Enterprise he did feel he was in the right place again - home. Not that he'd admit it to Spock willingly. He'd missed the ship, missed the wonderful brand new sickbay, which he'd personally overseen the refitting when they'd docked for repairs after the whole Nero episode. And he relished the thought that he was CMO of the best ship in the 'fleet.
Okay, okay, maybe he'd admit to Spock he'd been right. He was a doctor and while he could have been one on New Vulcan, it seemed the colonists were determined to return to having Vulcan healers only as soon as possible so any job there wouldn't have been permanent, much less welcome. His volunteers would remain there for the next cycle of births and then the Vulcans had told them they had trained enough new people that they could handle the situation after that. So much for gratitude - the Vulcans had been positively frostbitten about accepting help from aliens and he was quite sure they'd make sure never to need outside help again if they could possibly manage it. Perhaps that was a good attitude, though, self-sufficiency and getting things back to normal. He wondered what would have happened if they hadn't bowed to the Older Spock's experience and wisdom. He was the sole reason they'd allowed offworlders to know of the Pon Farr at all - and it was still classified information.
Here, well, on the Enterprise there was never a dull day - birthing babies was of course a rewarding experience and seeing the colonists thriving had been a very positive experience, but the repetitious work had left him a little bored after a while. Spock was right, he needed the Enterprise. But did it still need him? He certainly hoped so - especially once he told his best friend and superior just what he'd been up to during his stay on New Vulcan.
He decided to seek out Jim now since the Captain was coming off duty in twenty minutes. Best to get it over with, though maybe he'd rustle up a few drinks to let the telling go a little easier. He left an invitation for Jim to meet him in his quarters. He worried how his friend would take it. His hands trembled slightly as he put his clothes away in the drawers of his room. This was going to be one hell of a confession.
****
Spock sat down in the command chair as Kirk left for the turbolift. He heard Uhura in the background getting ready for her own shift change and felt a twinge of regret. At one time she might have stayed late after her shift change and do some outside research or switch duty times to be on the bridge with him without Captain Kirk as a buffer, but ever since their break up she'd done her best to do her job efficiently and no more, avoiding personal contact as much as possible.
She left as her relief came in and he knew without turning to look that she had glanced at the back of his head and then quickly away. She would always be professional, he knew, but he also had a better understanding now just why inter-personnel relationships were discouraged.
On Earth he had not felt the danger of the consequences of engaging in a relationship with her, after all, he'd never intended they serve aboard the same ship. She, of course, had other ideas. and when he thought back to how often he had leaned on Uhura for emotional support or when he had displayed such undignified emotional display of affection in front of other crewmembers, he was ashamed. He had compromised his position on board the Enterprise, not to mention how he had attacked Jim Kirk - giving into his most base nature in a way he hadn't since childhood.
Spock had ruminated on the situation during their time on base for the re-outfitting of the ship before breaking off the relationship with Nyota, she had been upset, but he had reminded her that, while he would always feel the same for her, he could not allow a personal relationship influence his actions again. His father had counseled him not to try and bury his feelings during the Nero episode, but once Nero and the threat were gone, he'd felt that he'd strayed from the Vulcan way too much - both before the episode and during.
He would always miss his mother, but she was gone and with her, he felt a severing with his more emotional human side. He had told Kirk Earth was his only home left, but that was not quite true - there was also a Vulcan colony and the survivors there who were rebuilding what they could of their civilization. How could he abandon his own part in those rituals and in keeping the civilization alive? His counterpart had assured him he would take care of that side of his responsibilities on the colony and Spock was grateful. He did not wish to leave the Enterprise. He felt a yearning to see his own people still alive and thriving in their own colony one day soon. Though when that day would come, he did not know. The Enterprise was warping towards their latest mission and he needed to focus on that for now.
Putting Uhura and New Vulcan out of his mind he went over Jim's latest notes on his log to be sure and be up to date. McCoy had returned from his 'top secret medical mission' an hour ago. Spock was still unsure why the captain did not trust him with the knowledge of what the mission was, but he was bound by regulations to obey and not ask any questions for now. He only hoped the mission had been successful. Perhaps Kirk was meeting with the man now for a debriefing. He checked their portable comms and saw they were indeed in McCoy's room alone.
A thought struck Spock for an instant, but then just as quickly he discounted it, surely the two were not lovers. Jim Kirk had made his preference for women obvious. Especially his flirting with Uhura, which thankfully the captain had not done since Spock's revelation of their 'break up.' He'd actually been very understanding.
"After all," Kirk had said in a rare compassionate voice, "you've been through a lot lately. You two may well patch things up as time goes by. If you need someone to speak to - well, I don't have a whole lot of experience with long-term relationships actually...maybe Bones would be a better idea. He was married - even if it did end badly. That might make him a perfect person to talk to, though - he knows the pain and the consequences of a bad break up. And I can speak from personal experience that he can be an easy person to talk to - he has psychiatric experience, but that's not why I unload on him sometimes, he's just a damn good listener."
Spock had known that it was yet another hint by his captain to try and 'get along' better with the CMO, but he found the idea of speaking to McCoy on such a personal topic distasteful, not to mention unnecessary. He and Uhura had not been married and their dissolution of their relationship (after Nyota's brief angry response and emotional pleas), had been in every other way amicable unlike McCoy's marriage. It would be illogical to bring up such a topic. He would no longer allow his emotions to compromise his performance on board the ship.
****
"You did WHAT?!" Kirk spit out his drink and actually dropped the glass at McCoy's revelation of his bond to the Other Spock. McCoy tossed him a towel and crossed his arms, glaring down at his captain from across the room.
"I got married - in a way - bonded is how they put it. I fell in love, Jim. Something you might want to consider trying sometime - one night stands your whole life aren't exactly fulfilling when you're old and alone. And you better clean that mess up yourself, I'm a doctor, not a butler."
Jim stared at the towel in his hands his mind spinning and ignored the mess until McCoy growled and came to snatch it out of his hands.
"No, no - wait, let me clean it - I'm sorry, okay? I just...married?! You? You swore to me you'd rather be stranded on the surface of Rura Pentha naked than marry another woman. Once was more than enough you said." He picked up the shards of glass and cut a finger, it began to bleed and sting like hell with the alcohol, "Ouch!"
McCoy sighed deeply and pulled out his ever-ready med kit open and sealed the wound and then pushed Kirk back onto the bunk and started on the job himself while talking. "I did say all that and I meant it. And I didn't marry - I mean - bond with a woman so I didn't break that vow, now did I?"
Kirk stared at him, mouth agape. He blinked several times and if his thumb hadn’t still been throbbing he'd think it was a dream. "You married a MAN?!"
McCoy threw the towel down, the mess still on the floor, he was getting rather angry at the way this conversation was going already and he hadn't even gotten to the most important part of the story. What was Jim going to say then?
//T'hyla, I could really use some help now.// he said desperately in his mind, though he knew there would be no answer this far away from the colony.
"Yes, Jim, there are more sexual combinations available to humans and other alien races than just a man and a woman," he said in his most snide voice, "I know full well you've had ménage a trois a few times - never once with another guy as the third party?"
"NO!" Jim said, flushing bright red, then realized he was probably insulting his friend. "Not that - that - there's anything wrong with...well...but...I never knew - is that why your marriage broke up?" he suddenly asked - it all made sense suddenly, why McCoy's wife would be so hell bent on getting even if she'd felt betrayed that way.
Leonard sat down on his chair by the computer. "No - I'm not gay, bisexual maybe is the way to put it, and I never thought the details of my divorce were any of your business, but if you must know...I caught her. Cheating. With another man - a friend of mine, in fact. Tell you the truth I could have gotten a lot more in the divorce if I'd been as cold hearted as her and gotten a damn good divorce attorney, as it is I went on a bit of a drinking binge and she used that against me as well as abandonment - as if going to medical school and having to study my ass off and support a wife and child was abandonment - I warned her when we married it would be tough, but I'd make it up to her." McCoy sighed and rubbed his eyes, he was so tired - part of it was physical and part of it was the mental memories of those days.
"It's not like I didn't want to see my wife and daughter every chance I could, but I - I was just so busy and so stressed out and...I was working on the side as an orderly and stealing every minute I could to study. Damn it! Maybe I did neglect her - I must've considering how long the affair went on, I found out later she'd been screwing him for a year. Joanna called him daddy last time I saw them all together in court." A tear ran down McCoy's face as he said this and he turned away from his friend quickly to hide it.
He heard Jim get up and put hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Bones, I'm acting like an ass - I'm just trying to understand. Please, let's stop talking about her. Tell me about him - the guy - he's Vulcan? Because I'm having an even harder time wrapping my mind around that fact, I tell you. You don't even get along with Spock and he's half human," Jim joked, trying to lighten up the mood.
McCoy pulled himself together and turned back to face his friend, taking a deep breath he said it straight out loud. "Jim - I did marry Spock - the Other Spock."
Whether it was the still slippery floor or Jim's knees buckling, one way or another Kirk ended up on the floor with a nasty cut on his head and a concussion from the edge of McCoy's bunk.
McCoy quickly commed sickbay for a stretcher and help and muttered to himself, "Well, that could have gone better..."
***
Spock was on the bridge feeling very odd when he got the call from sickbay that the captain was injured, but stable and in staying overnight for observation only. He'd be back on duty in the morning, most likely.
A pointed eyebrow rose at that - what could possibly have happened in McCoy's quarters? Finally unable to let the matter rest without investigating it himself, he left Sulu at the conn and went to sickbay himself rather than ask for more details.
The lights in sickbay were dimmed for the comfort of the sleeping patient. McCoy was just finishing the sealant on Jim's forehead when he entered. The captain's clothes had a distinct odor of alcohol and blood. McCoy's did as well. Humans' fascination with poisonous substances like alcohol were indeed a frequent component to accidents of such nature, but surely the two had not been alone long enough to become that drunk - and should the doctor be treating him at all if he was inebriated?
McCoy glanced up at him and away quickly, almost guiltily, but his voice was the same strong professional tone he always had on duty. "I'm not drunk or under the influence, Spock. In fact I didn't have a drop. Kirk didn't either, he spat his out and dropped his glass, he then slipped in the puddle and cut himself and banged his head a good one on the corner of my bed. I helped him up on the stretcher and we may smell like a couple of drunken sots, but we're not so you can get that smug look off your face."
Spock raised his eyebrows at the tirade, but nodded, thankful his conclusions were wrong. "I see, what, may I ask, caused the captain to become so accident prone so quickly?"
"You may ask," McCoy said smugly and turned his back on him to speak to Nurse Chapel.
"Get him cleaned up before any more crewmembers see him and keep an eye on him. Wake him every half hour just in case and perform a neural exam. If he asks for me comm me, but I'm sure he’ll be just fine - I’m going to clean up myself and take a nap. I'm exhausted."
"Of course, Doctor. And we're glad to have you back. I hope everything went well on your mission," she said quietly.
Both were ignoring Spock's presense still in the room, well McCoy was, Christine kept glancing at him when she thought the Vulcan wasn't looking. 'Great,' McCoy thought, 'all the straight women either have a crush on Kirk or Spock on this ship. McCoy might be bonded, but it didn't mean he didn't have a little bit of an ego - ‘how come they never fall for me?’ he wondered sullenly. It was a jealous thought and one he quickly crushed. He was happy with the Other Spock, actually, he didn't need the complications of a crush to deal with.
Speaking of complications...McCoy moved to pass Spock, when the Vulcan put a hand on his arm. Leonard froze, quickly making sure his own shields were firmly in place just as his own Spock had shown him.
Spock's eyes, so familiar, looked deeply into McCoy’s own, demanding the truth. "I asked you a question, Doctor. What happened to the captain in your room?"
McCoy tugged his arm out of Spock's grip, Spock released him quickly, thankfully, for McCoy would never have been able to win an arm wrestling fight with the Vulcan anyway.
"No, you asked if you could ask what happened - I said you may." Seeing Spock's face, however, made him continue, reluctantly. "He had surprising news, dropped his drink and then when he stood up he slipped and hit his head, okay? And before you ask - the news is private - between the Captain and myself at the moment and I'm really not in the mood to share right now."
With that he hurried back to his quarters. He knew he could not avoid Spock's question forever - he'd have to tell him of the bond - he'd spoken about it in great length with his own Spock, but they had neither of them concrete answers on how the other Spock would react and McCoy was just too tired to deal with it right now. He truly was...the work on New Vulcan and his journey back to the Enterprise and dealing with Jim...he was glad to see a yeoman had cleaned up the mess on his floor after the med team had come through, so he just stripped and stepped into the sonic shower stall for a quick cleaning and then fell, naked onto his bed.
****
Spock found himself pacing his room that night. He was off duty and required little sleep. Normally he'd work on one of his many research projects or meditate if he was having difficulty doing either as he was at the moment, but he found even that refuge impossible.
Something was wrong. Something had changed aboard the ship and he could pinpoint it to the moment McCoy had returned to the ship. Perhaps even earlier, but the....feeling was the only word he could think of to describe it - the feeling of wrongness had become far more sharpened and focused upon the return of the Doctor to the Enterprise. It must have something to do with the secret mission - with Jim's sudden accident in McCoy's rooms. And whatever had happened was causing Spock's telepathic and mental equilibrium to be off-balance. He tried to calm himself, calling on all the techniques he'd learned as a child to build shields within his own mind - and was reminded of the shields he'd felt in McCoy's mind when he'd touched him in Sickbay. McCoy had learned how to build shields the same way - he had blocked any attempt Spock might have made to read his emotions or surface thoughts - this revelation stopped him in his tracks.
Not just that the doctor suddenly knew how to make mental shields, but that the way he did it was as a Vulcan would. Using the very same imagery and techniques that Spock himself used. Every Vulcan learned the basics of shielding the same way as a class, but each individual learned more advanced techniques on their own and Spock, being half human had perhaps the most unique techniques in order to settle the more impulsive human side of his mind. McCoy had those techniques...
Suddenly Spock knew exactly where McCoy had been - he'd been on New Vulcan or wherever Spock's counterpoint from the other universe was...and he'd learned Vulcan shielding techniques from him - but why?
Spock turned on his heel and headed towards McCoy’s quarters. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.
****