FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY…courtesy of Lady E
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
2. A day without sunshine is, like, night
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
6. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
7. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
8. Remember half the people you know are below average.
9. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
10. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
11. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
12. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
13. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
14. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
15. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
16. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
17. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
18. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
19. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
20. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
21. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
23. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
24. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
25. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
26. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
27. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
28. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
29. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
30. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
31. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
32. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
33. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
34. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
35. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
36. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
37. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
38. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
2. A day without sunshine is, like, night
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
6. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
7. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
8. Remember half the people you know are below average.
9. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
10. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
11. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
12. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
13. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
14. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
15. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
16. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
17. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
18. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
19. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
20. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
21. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
23. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
24. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
25. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
26. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
27. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
28. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
29. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
30. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
31. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
32. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
33. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
34. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
35. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
36. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
37. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
38. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.