Such a sad time..
The past couple of days have been emotional for me. Not because of Estrella prep stuff.. but something else. A co-worker at the school has a little girl that has just turned a year old. 3 days ago she was rushed to a hospital after her heart stopped. She had not been well. Doctors discovered a blood clot near her heart and a high level of toxins in her blood. They suspect what the toxins are and it's not related to anything the parents have done. Last night, she took a turn for the worse and had a stroke. They say she is now paralyzed and blind. At this moment they are flying her to UMC for emergency heart surgery. She is dying. A couple of co-workers got upset with me for not wanting to go to the hospital. I've been through having a child in ICU before and I've been through the loss of a child. I can not bring myself to go and will not force myself to go because others think I'm being selfless and uncaring. That is so far from the truth. A good friend of mine is going over after she gets off of work. She is taking with her the note I wrote letting her parents know that I am thinking of them and I am with them in spirit. This is hard for me to not be there only because I know and remember the hurt clearly of watching your child linger at deaths door. I know the many emotions that a family goes through. Should she not make it, I'd much rather remember this precious, beautiful little girl the way I last saw her.....barely walking, holding on to her Mommy's hand as she came into class with a big smile and babbling away. The tears I have are of sadness for what is happening, but then there are tears for the last happy time I saw her.