Let it Ride
Originally published at Nika Dixon. You can comment here or there.
Sitting around the table with a group of my friends a while back the comment was made that I am ‘too mellow’. When asked for clarification two of my girlfriends tried their best to tell me that I don’t get upset at everything, and that they were shocked that I could look at most situations and not have a breakdown or ‘freak out’ as they put it.
My answer?
Why expend energy and emotion on something that will not affect the outcome?
The way I see it there are many solutions to every problem. Some paths involve taking the easy road, others more complex, and others almost impossible to navigate. Yet in the end, the destination is almost always reached. The question is: will you still have the stamina to face the ending when you get there?
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Years ago I was in a local electronics store looking for very specific audio adapters and lengths of cable. The connectors were needed for a production shoot and returning without them was not an option. There were none available on the shelf so I needed to find out if the store had any in the back as their inventory suggested. Now the first thing to note is that I was dressed for crew - jeans, sneakers, backpack filled with random supplies, hair in a ponytail tucked under a ball cap. Did I look like I was there to buy several expensive pieces of gear? No. Should it have mattered to the sales reps that ignored me? No… but apparently it did. After ten minutes of patiently waiting (and checking my watch) I began to suspect that I was not going to be helped simply because I wasn’t (a) a man or (b) dressed well. People came and went with purchases, yet I was still waiting. I excused myself to two different store employees and was told the standard “I’ll be with you in a minute”. Yet they moved on to the next customer each time-and not me.
What could I do? (a) Go find another store? I could have but it was 35 minutes away and I had already wasted 15 minutes of potential drive time, and I wasn’t about to let this go without a fight. (b) Turned loud and demanding? Pulled out the emotions? Yelled about gender bias and demand to speak to the manager? Threaten to contact their head office about their shoddy customer service? Maybe, but that’s not my style.
I went with option C.
I sat down on the floor in the middle of the store (and I mean the middle of the store - anyone walking by from the mall could see me). I opened my knapsack, took out my binder and a couple of highlighters, spread some papers out on the floor in front of me and began to review the requirements for the production - crew call times, equipment requirements… I was quite happily unpacking my lunch when a pair of feet appeared in view. I looked up to face the manager.
“Can I help you?” he asked, frowning at my PBJ.
Now I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was loud enough to be heard throughout the store, clearly spoken (not whiny or emotional), and went something like this:
“I don’t know, can you? Your staff seems quite intent on ignoring me so I figured I’d get some work done while I waited for someone to figure out I’m here to spend some money.”
And at that point I looked back down at my page and continued making notes.
Mister Manager then came back with the best answer ever: “You can’t sit here.”
I looked around at the store. “You don’t have any chairs.”
This of course made him look around the store, as if he didn’t already know he didn’t have any chairs.
Then the situation finally clicked in the poor man’s obviously addled brain. “Is there something specific that you need?”
I rattled off the list of what I needed and went back to my paperwork. Two minutes later after ordering the two store employees to run to the back and get my supplies, Mister Manager himself returned with an armload of cables and connectors. It wasn’t until he asked if he could ring up the purchases did I pack up my things. Carefully. Slowly. Taking my time. Making him stand behind the register with my purchases rung up so he couldn’t put through the other customers.
Did I get what I wanted? Yes.
Did I get angry and leave? No.
Did I have a hissy fit and cry to get it? No.
Did I have more fun doing it this way? Oh hell yea’.