To live a dream
Summer is here. Actually, its been here for about a week now. I feel lucky, I passed three out of my four classes. That's big for me, seeings as all of them were pretty much up in the air. It seems that every semester, one class always slips through my grasp. Usually its a science or math class. You know, the classes that teach you information that you're never going to need in your personal or professional life, but they teach it to you anyway, because it's required? Apparently, I'm just not good at mastering useless information.
Actually, I take that back. It's not all useless. I have a nagging feeling that down the road, I'm going to need to know some of that material from Biology. Nothing like the structure of a saccaride or anything, but just the basics. All that crap about protons, neutrons, electrons, ions, basically the whole "ons" family. As a writer, that stuff's probably good to know.
A writer....
This summer, I'm going to start writing again. That's my goal. I'm going to get my creative juices flowing again before I go to Eastern. I've spent most of the past few days sitting by the pool, reading my Star Wars book, which is extremely good. It's the Revenge of the Sith novelization, and much like the Attack of the Clones book, it dives into so many different areas that the movie just can't. In this book, Matthew Stover allows the reader to experience Anakin's desperation, his frustration, his jealousy, his anger. We literally follow him as he descends to the dark side. But he's gone on record saying that his favorite character is Obi-Wan Kenobi, and this book shows it. This is without a doubt the most accurate, mind wrapping portrayl of the Jedi Master that I've ever read. The most important thing that Stover does with Obi-Wan in this book, is loosen him up a little. He's not always the tight ass that he was in Clones. In Sith, we see just how much he actually cares about Anakin, and what their friendship means to him. Likewise, he does the same with Anakin in relation to Obi-Wan. And I know that's going to do wonders for the book's climax.
Thus far, I can only see one flaw in Stover's masterpiece: it's not long enough. It's a 419 page book, and currently, I'm in the upper 300s somewhere. Anakin is just now falling under Palpatine's influence. Stover's got about a hundred pages to kill of roughly 97% of the Jedi Order, establish Anakin's new sadistically twisted mindset, give birth to twins, and stage TWO lightsaber duels. I'm a little nervous that these are going to be one hundred of the most rushed pages I've ever read. But nonetheless, I'm confident in Stover's abilities. This guy has definitely has a spot amongst my favorites.
I'm sure a lot of people misread my devotion to Star Wars. They think I love it just because it offers so much visual and auditorial stimuli. You know, the WOOM WOOM of lightsabers, the HOH PER of Darth Vader's breathing, and of course, all the gi-normous explosions. But while all those things are cool, and actually ARE what originally attracted me to the saga, it has very little to do with why I'm still reading these books and watching these movies today.
Star Wars is, if nothing else, MY kind of story. It's a completely character driven masterpiece, matching the forces of good against the forces of evil, that makes us THINK about ourselves, and the way we as a society do things. That's amazing. To think that most, if not ALL of these elements came out of one man's mind simply blows me away. George Lucas actually sat down one day, got out his pen and a three ring binder, and started to write. And now, almost thirty years later, look what he's accomplished! And I'm not even speaking from a cinematic standpoint. I read Roger Ebert's review of Episode III, and he said it best: George Lucas has created and populated his own universe. Not only that, but he made it so appealing, and so incredibly exciting, that we can't help but fall in love with it.
THAT's what I want to accomplish as a writer someday. Maybe not to that same scale, but I want somebody to read my books, and just get swept away, like what Star Wars does to me. Granted, making movies and writing books are practically two different worlds. And it's not even a question as to which field is more popular. So I realize that I won't be able to touch people EXACTLY the way Lucas has. But Lord knows I'm going to try. Someday, I'm going to GET that idea I've been looking for. Like the one George Lucas got with Star Wars, of J.K. Rowling with Harry Potter, or even as far back as Tolkien with Lord of the Rings. It doesn't even have to be science fiction. I could be like John Grishm, or Scott Turow, or Thomas Harris, and write something more down to Earth, but with a nice twist that really grabs the reader. I just want to be able to create something magical, something enrapturing, something that I can just fall into, and be free to create, populate, and mess with as I see fit. I want that feeling that I get after I've written something that I know is great. Hell, it doesn't even have to be good, as long as I know its the best I can do. I want to improve my writing, and as my craft is improving, I want to improve as a person along with it.
I want to live my dream.
Is that such a crazy thing? People set out to live their dreams everyday. How many people actually accomplish it? I'd like to figure that out someday....
lol You know, this'll seem corny to anyone else who reads this, because I think I'm the only one who understands it, but professional wrestling actually inspires me to live my dream. I think I figured that out last year, when Chris Benoit won the World Heavyweight Title at Wrestlemania XX. Then Eddie Guerrero, the WWE Champion, came out to the ring with him, and they were both in tears. There they stood. Two best friends, living their dream. Accomplishing a goal that they set out to accomplish so long ago. A goal that they scratched, clawed, sweat, bled, cried, and sacrificed for. And then, there it was.
That's what I want. I want what Benoit and Guerrero had that night. I want to know that I really accomplished something during my life. I want to write something amazing, even if it never makes the shelves, I can live with that. As long as I did it.
I picked up a copy of Personal Writing today, the first time I've ever picked up such a publication actually. And in the Editor's Letter, she talks about the two kinds of people she often meets: authors and writers. An author is "someone who wants to have written and published a book. But a writer is someone who's in it for the process of writing." It got me wondering, which am I? Or rather, which do I WANT to be. Truth be told, I see a little of both in myself. I mean, yes, I do want to have a book out there. Several if possible. I want people to read what I have written.
But I mean, can you be an author and not be into the process of writing? That's excluding professional athletes and celebrities, who more often than not hire ghost writers to do all the work for them. Well, I suppose you could. I would imagine it wouldn't bring nearly the same amount of satisfaction though. I mean, to have a book out there is one thing. Hell, I could write a book about something right now and stick it on a shelf somewhere and have that be it. But if you don't thoroughly enjoy the process of writing, then....why bother writing a book? At least that's how I see it. I suppose someone could write to inform, which I would guess doesn't require the same amount of creative energy that fiction writing does. But for just about everything else, I would think you'd HAVE to be an writer in order to be an author. Or at least, a GOOD author.
Eh, I dunno. In a lot of ways, i'm still incredibly green as far as my writing talents or concerned. But you know what? This is what I want to do with my life. Here I am, at twenty years old, and I know that, without a shadow of a doubt. And that's not a good thing, that's a great thing. And even though I still have a lot to learn, I swear, I'm going to make this happen.
You know that feeling I talked about earlier? The one you get after you know you just wrote something great?
;)