An update on my life.
So, it's time for an actual update. I think that Dan and I are over. I dedicated a year and a half(roughly) to him. And he's still being an ass. I told him I'd give him one more chance, but he pissed it away. Though in some ways, I can't blame him. His mother was diagnosed with lung cancer today. But for the past two months he's been pushing me away and being an ass, but then he'll turn around and tell me he loves me and doesn't want me to leave. Like Dr Jekyll, and Mr Hyde. While we were on our break, I did some rearranging. He was the center of my world, but having him at the center was like having a lit bomb tied to my heart. He trampled on everything I offered him too many times. He told me that me hanging onto him, and me focusing on him entirely was the only thing that kept us together. I can't do that anymore. I don't have the energy. I feel bad because he's so stressed right now, but I just can't do it anymore.
In addition to this, I'm moving to Chicago. Well, a western suburb of Chicago. One of my brother's roommates decided to bail, so I'm moving in. I jumped on the chance to get out of the house. Dan did not like this at all, and told me that it wouldn't be worth it to drive down to see me once in a while. That hurt more than anything else he's ever said to me. And when we fight, he's said some pretty cruel things so that's saying something. I just think it's time to move on. I love him very much, but I can't trust what he says. When he says he loves me, I believe him. But I can't believe him when he says he wants to be with me forever, or he can handle our relationship and etc. I can't trust any of that, and I need more than what he's been giving me.
I'm nervous about the move, and starting a new job. I'll be driving back and forth to Milwaukee once a week to go to school, and work my current job. I'll be working at Dick's Sporting Goods full time down in Bloomingdale. I can't wait to get out of the house though. I met a guy I think I'd like to eventually date; he's already told me he's willing to drive to see me even if it means he only gets to see me for five minutes. But words are only words. Actions will prove everything. And I think I'm going to stay single for a while, recuperate. I don't know. Other than that, life is ok. It's been busy, and crazy. I guess that's all. Take care, and be loved.
In addition to this, I'm moving to Chicago. Well, a western suburb of Chicago. One of my brother's roommates decided to bail, so I'm moving in. I jumped on the chance to get out of the house. Dan did not like this at all, and told me that it wouldn't be worth it to drive down to see me once in a while. That hurt more than anything else he's ever said to me. And when we fight, he's said some pretty cruel things so that's saying something. I just think it's time to move on. I love him very much, but I can't trust what he says. When he says he loves me, I believe him. But I can't believe him when he says he wants to be with me forever, or he can handle our relationship and etc. I can't trust any of that, and I need more than what he's been giving me.
I'm nervous about the move, and starting a new job. I'll be driving back and forth to Milwaukee once a week to go to school, and work my current job. I'll be working at Dick's Sporting Goods full time down in Bloomingdale. I can't wait to get out of the house though. I met a guy I think I'd like to eventually date; he's already told me he's willing to drive to see me even if it means he only gets to see me for five minutes. But words are only words. Actions will prove everything. And I think I'm going to stay single for a while, recuperate. I don't know. Other than that, life is ok. It's been busy, and crazy. I guess that's all. Take care, and be loved.