BSG - The Nature of a Paradox
Title: The Nature of a Paradox
Rating: Teen
Characters: Zak Adama, Kara Thrace, Lee Adama
Genre: General
Warnings: Spoilers for 4.20 Daybreak Part 2
Word Count: 1773
Summary: Somewhere in the back of his mind, Zak knows he isn't angry. His big brother's got his girlfriend on their dining room table and he's pretty sure they're about ten seconds from actually coming undressed when the wine glass falls off and shatters, but he knows, as soon as he speaks up, sounding muddled and drunk still, that he's not actually angry with either of them. Rather, he's trying to save them from themselves.
Author's Note: This is the flashbacks from Daybreak Part 2 from Zak's POV as an unnoticed witness to everything that happens with Kara and Lee.
The Nature of a Paradox
Zak Adama is a lightweight compared to his girlfriend, but he's quite aware of that fact. He's also not as clueless as he sometimes thinks people believe him to be. He knows Kara's a bit of a playgirl; it's what attracted him to her in the first place: the catch-me-if-you-can attitude, the sparkle in her eyes when her challenge was accepted, the magnetic sort of pull she seemed to have on just about everyone, and if she pulled at him a bit stronger than most, well, at least he knew that he was the first who'd ever pulled her back. Call it Adama charm.
Which is why he'd thought long and hard before introducing her to his brother. For all intents and purposes, Kara wasn't Lee's type at all, and Lee was the sort of guy Kara wouldn't have looked twice at in the academy. But they had one thing in common: they hated to lose. And between Kara's anxiety about meeting Zak's family, even his older brother, and Lee's skepticism about Zak having finally found a steady girlfriend, this first meeting was bound to turn into a showdown.
Several hours and four glasses of wine later, and Zak's head is feeling rather light. Across the table, Lee is relating some story about his first year at the academy (the notes debacle, he thinks) and Kara is laughing beside him. They're finishing up dessert and their second bottle of wine, which is looking rather pathetic, a few measly centimeters of Tauron red still puddled at the bottom. Kara's eyes are dancing and there are two spots of colour rising on her cheeks from the wine and from laughing, and Lee's looking more relaxed than Zak's seen him in years, and Zak can't help but smiling. He knew they'd get along.
He also knew the tension would go through the roof once they'd unmasked their competitive streaks, but he was prepared for that, so the way Kara's eyes linger on his brother's shoulders for a moment before she pours herself the rest of the wine doesn't bother him as much as he thinks maybe it should. Nor does it bother him that Lee's eyes are constantly on Kara, even when she's not speaking, even when she's not looking at him, and the look in his eyes is one Zak hasn't seen in a long time. They talk about politics and the military and family and Zak has to smile at the way Kara says, "Honey, I think I'm starting to like your brother."
Kara's breaking out the third bottle and Lee's trying to say how he doesn't drink that much, but his hand is already offering up his glass and Zak watches them banter with an easy smile on his face. He's not faking the slight wobble in his legs or the way his smile stretches out and he feels his body heavy and drooping when they decide he's had enough to drink and they settle him on the couch.
He's not drunk enough, though, to pass out the way they clearly think he has when he closes his eyes and doesn't bother moving because he's as comfortable as he'll ever be. He listens as Kara teases Lee about his ability to hold his alcohol. He nearly gives up his ruse by laughing when Kara challenges his brother to shots; he hadn't thought to warn Lee about that danger. They move off, back to the table, and Zak strains his ears to hear what they're saying, but the wine fuzzes his brain a little and they're speaking a bit quieter, probably worried that they'll wake him.
He hears the chink of glass on glass and then the harder slam when they set down their shots and Lee's chuckle as Kara immediately pours out their second. Minutes tick by and Zak's brain starts to unfuzz little by little and he can pick up pieces of their conversation.
He hears the words "Viper" and "godsdamn" and thinks it's Kara speaking, and Lee's low rumble of laughter following. It's definitely Lee who says "requirements of the service", and from the tone of derision, he's talking about their father.
He hears Kara ask what he'd meant earlier about Lee being a girlfriend stealer. Lee's embarrassed laugh makes Zak smile, remembering the phone call he'd gotten from Lee at six in the morning a year ago, wanting to know why his little brother's girlfriend had shown up on his doorstep proclaiming her eternal love for him. Lee finishes the story and Zak hears the sound of another round being poured. It sounds like they've moved on from actual shots and are now just pouring out measures.
"What do you think about?" Lee asks. "When you're flying, I mean."
Kara's voice is straightforward when she answers, and Zak can picture the look she's giving Lee, measured and steady. "I think about death."
There is a pause and Zak thinks Lee must be staring. "You're serious." There is a chuckle, and Zak can almost picture the look on his brother's face: grinning and slightly incredulous.
He hears another round being poured and Zak imagines Kara shrugging, graceful shoulders up and down in that maddening way that clearly says, what's wrong with that? "Every time," she says.
They slam down their shots and Lee says, "You're tempting fate."
Kara's voice is wandering. "If I have a fate, then it is set, and thinking about it isn't gonna make it happen any faster."
"Okay,but--" Lee says, "Flying, when you're thinking about dying... bad way of doing business. You're gonna get scared and you're gonna start second-guessing yourself."
"I'm not scared." Kara sounds like she's pointing out the obvious, and Zak can easily imagine the confused look on his brother's face when he answers.
"You you you think about dying every time you get into a cockpit."
"Yeah but, it doesn't scare me, Lee, that's what you don't get."
There is a silence and Zak knows they're staring each other down; Kara's trying to make Lee understand and Lee's trying to. "What, so it's, Kara Thrace: Fearless Warrior. Right?" Kara makes a funny sound like trumpet fanfare and they laugh.
"No," Kara says, "I know fear. And I get scared, just, not of dying."
"So then what does scare you?"
Kara pours a drink before she answers, and it makes Lee laugh a little, because she's stalling for time and needs the encouragement. "Being forgotten," she says, and Zak can't help but wonder how unlikely a fate that is.
Zak knows the moment things between his brother and his girlfriend get too heavy. They're laughing like idiots, and when Kara tells Lee, "I double-dog dare you," Zak has to stifle a laugh at how childish it is. Lee laughs, but he says yes, and they're still laughing when Kara moves in front of him and Lee leans in to kiss her. Zak can hear things falling off the table, and he's sobered up enough to hear Kara's breathing high and fluttery and a low rumbling laugh he's never heard from Lee. Lee, who could never resist a challenge, and Kara, who could never resist giving them.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Zak knows he isn't angry. His big brother's got his girlfriend on their dining room table and he's pretty sure they're about ten seconds from actually coming undressed when the wine glass falls off and shatters, but he knows, as soon as he speaks up, sounding muddled and drunk still, that he's not actually angry with either of them. Rather, he's trying to save them from themselves.
Lee's voice is heavy with guilt, and Kara's voice is just as strained when she answers.
"I guess I better get going." "Yeah..."
Zak watches through his eyelashes as Kara retrieves Lee's coat for him, shakes his hand. "It was nice to meet you... Lee Adama."
"Likewise, Kara Thrace."
The sound of the door closing is soft, but it echoes slightly down the stairs, followed by Kara's footsteps. Zak hears her pause beside him on the couch, fingers trailing faintly through his hair, and her whisper is so low he can barely hear her even though she's standing right beside him. "Oh gods..." She presses a quick kiss to his forehead and turns away, footsteps heading toward their bedroom. Zak doesn't stir, letting her go on her own. He knows she's upset and confused, and he's learned from experience that the best thing he can do is to leave her alone to think.
Zak knows in his heart that, were they both sober, things wouldn't have gone this far, and he knows too that if he hadn't spoken up they would have gone farther. And he understands, because he knows them both better, sometimes, than they know themselves. He knows Lee's been lonely for too long, and that Kara's wit and friendliness and obvious sensuality have made his brother feel more awake and alive than he has been in years. And he knows Kara's habit of being disappointed by people, and that Lee is one of the few people she's met who's kept her entertained and interested, who she genuinely likes, and if there's more to the attraction, Zak thinks it's worth it to see her grin when Lee keeps up with her.
And Zak also knows that if they'd gone any farther, if they'd done what they wanted to do, it would have been great and they'd both have seen stars, until they came back down and realized what had happened and at that point, the impossibility of their situation would have killed them both. To Kara, Zak knows, it'll be another reminder of how screwed up she is, that she'd frak her boyfriend's brother, no matter how thick the tension between them was. For Lee, it'll be the shame of having gone behind his little brother's back, having taken the girl who's made his little brother's world. They both love him, he knows, and that's almost the problem, because it means he stands between them.
But it's Zak's ring on Kara's finger, and even if it's not yet official (he hasn't actually asked her, not really), he knows she'll say yes. And that's all he wants. Her name with his and her presence in his life made permanent, and if she looks too long at his brother when he's over, that doesn't mean that she doesn't love him, too, which suits Zak fine.
Because in the end, all that matters is that he loves his girlfriend and he loves his brother, and he'll do what it takes to keep that family together.
FIN
Rating: Teen
Characters: Zak Adama, Kara Thrace, Lee Adama
Genre: General
Warnings: Spoilers for 4.20 Daybreak Part 2
Word Count: 1773
Summary: Somewhere in the back of his mind, Zak knows he isn't angry. His big brother's got his girlfriend on their dining room table and he's pretty sure they're about ten seconds from actually coming undressed when the wine glass falls off and shatters, but he knows, as soon as he speaks up, sounding muddled and drunk still, that he's not actually angry with either of them. Rather, he's trying to save them from themselves.
Author's Note: This is the flashbacks from Daybreak Part 2 from Zak's POV as an unnoticed witness to everything that happens with Kara and Lee.
The Nature of a Paradox
Zak Adama is a lightweight compared to his girlfriend, but he's quite aware of that fact. He's also not as clueless as he sometimes thinks people believe him to be. He knows Kara's a bit of a playgirl; it's what attracted him to her in the first place: the catch-me-if-you-can attitude, the sparkle in her eyes when her challenge was accepted, the magnetic sort of pull she seemed to have on just about everyone, and if she pulled at him a bit stronger than most, well, at least he knew that he was the first who'd ever pulled her back. Call it Adama charm.
Which is why he'd thought long and hard before introducing her to his brother. For all intents and purposes, Kara wasn't Lee's type at all, and Lee was the sort of guy Kara wouldn't have looked twice at in the academy. But they had one thing in common: they hated to lose. And between Kara's anxiety about meeting Zak's family, even his older brother, and Lee's skepticism about Zak having finally found a steady girlfriend, this first meeting was bound to turn into a showdown.
Several hours and four glasses of wine later, and Zak's head is feeling rather light. Across the table, Lee is relating some story about his first year at the academy (the notes debacle, he thinks) and Kara is laughing beside him. They're finishing up dessert and their second bottle of wine, which is looking rather pathetic, a few measly centimeters of Tauron red still puddled at the bottom. Kara's eyes are dancing and there are two spots of colour rising on her cheeks from the wine and from laughing, and Lee's looking more relaxed than Zak's seen him in years, and Zak can't help but smiling. He knew they'd get along.
He also knew the tension would go through the roof once they'd unmasked their competitive streaks, but he was prepared for that, so the way Kara's eyes linger on his brother's shoulders for a moment before she pours herself the rest of the wine doesn't bother him as much as he thinks maybe it should. Nor does it bother him that Lee's eyes are constantly on Kara, even when she's not speaking, even when she's not looking at him, and the look in his eyes is one Zak hasn't seen in a long time. They talk about politics and the military and family and Zak has to smile at the way Kara says, "Honey, I think I'm starting to like your brother."
Kara's breaking out the third bottle and Lee's trying to say how he doesn't drink that much, but his hand is already offering up his glass and Zak watches them banter with an easy smile on his face. He's not faking the slight wobble in his legs or the way his smile stretches out and he feels his body heavy and drooping when they decide he's had enough to drink and they settle him on the couch.
He's not drunk enough, though, to pass out the way they clearly think he has when he closes his eyes and doesn't bother moving because he's as comfortable as he'll ever be. He listens as Kara teases Lee about his ability to hold his alcohol. He nearly gives up his ruse by laughing when Kara challenges his brother to shots; he hadn't thought to warn Lee about that danger. They move off, back to the table, and Zak strains his ears to hear what they're saying, but the wine fuzzes his brain a little and they're speaking a bit quieter, probably worried that they'll wake him.
He hears the chink of glass on glass and then the harder slam when they set down their shots and Lee's chuckle as Kara immediately pours out their second. Minutes tick by and Zak's brain starts to unfuzz little by little and he can pick up pieces of their conversation.
He hears the words "Viper" and "godsdamn" and thinks it's Kara speaking, and Lee's low rumble of laughter following. It's definitely Lee who says "requirements of the service", and from the tone of derision, he's talking about their father.
He hears Kara ask what he'd meant earlier about Lee being a girlfriend stealer. Lee's embarrassed laugh makes Zak smile, remembering the phone call he'd gotten from Lee at six in the morning a year ago, wanting to know why his little brother's girlfriend had shown up on his doorstep proclaiming her eternal love for him. Lee finishes the story and Zak hears the sound of another round being poured. It sounds like they've moved on from actual shots and are now just pouring out measures.
"What do you think about?" Lee asks. "When you're flying, I mean."
Kara's voice is straightforward when she answers, and Zak can picture the look she's giving Lee, measured and steady. "I think about death."
There is a pause and Zak thinks Lee must be staring. "You're serious." There is a chuckle, and Zak can almost picture the look on his brother's face: grinning and slightly incredulous.
He hears another round being poured and Zak imagines Kara shrugging, graceful shoulders up and down in that maddening way that clearly says, what's wrong with that? "Every time," she says.
They slam down their shots and Lee says, "You're tempting fate."
Kara's voice is wandering. "If I have a fate, then it is set, and thinking about it isn't gonna make it happen any faster."
"Okay,but--" Lee says, "Flying, when you're thinking about dying... bad way of doing business. You're gonna get scared and you're gonna start second-guessing yourself."
"I'm not scared." Kara sounds like she's pointing out the obvious, and Zak can easily imagine the confused look on his brother's face when he answers.
"You you you think about dying every time you get into a cockpit."
"Yeah but, it doesn't scare me, Lee, that's what you don't get."
There is a silence and Zak knows they're staring each other down; Kara's trying to make Lee understand and Lee's trying to. "What, so it's, Kara Thrace: Fearless Warrior. Right?" Kara makes a funny sound like trumpet fanfare and they laugh.
"No," Kara says, "I know fear. And I get scared, just, not of dying."
"So then what does scare you?"
Kara pours a drink before she answers, and it makes Lee laugh a little, because she's stalling for time and needs the encouragement. "Being forgotten," she says, and Zak can't help but wonder how unlikely a fate that is.
Zak knows the moment things between his brother and his girlfriend get too heavy. They're laughing like idiots, and when Kara tells Lee, "I double-dog dare you," Zak has to stifle a laugh at how childish it is. Lee laughs, but he says yes, and they're still laughing when Kara moves in front of him and Lee leans in to kiss her. Zak can hear things falling off the table, and he's sobered up enough to hear Kara's breathing high and fluttery and a low rumbling laugh he's never heard from Lee. Lee, who could never resist a challenge, and Kara, who could never resist giving them.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Zak knows he isn't angry. His big brother's got his girlfriend on their dining room table and he's pretty sure they're about ten seconds from actually coming undressed when the wine glass falls off and shatters, but he knows, as soon as he speaks up, sounding muddled and drunk still, that he's not actually angry with either of them. Rather, he's trying to save them from themselves.
Lee's voice is heavy with guilt, and Kara's voice is just as strained when she answers.
"I guess I better get going." "Yeah..."
Zak watches through his eyelashes as Kara retrieves Lee's coat for him, shakes his hand. "It was nice to meet you... Lee Adama."
"Likewise, Kara Thrace."
The sound of the door closing is soft, but it echoes slightly down the stairs, followed by Kara's footsteps. Zak hears her pause beside him on the couch, fingers trailing faintly through his hair, and her whisper is so low he can barely hear her even though she's standing right beside him. "Oh gods..." She presses a quick kiss to his forehead and turns away, footsteps heading toward their bedroom. Zak doesn't stir, letting her go on her own. He knows she's upset and confused, and he's learned from experience that the best thing he can do is to leave her alone to think.
Zak knows in his heart that, were they both sober, things wouldn't have gone this far, and he knows too that if he hadn't spoken up they would have gone farther. And he understands, because he knows them both better, sometimes, than they know themselves. He knows Lee's been lonely for too long, and that Kara's wit and friendliness and obvious sensuality have made his brother feel more awake and alive than he has been in years. And he knows Kara's habit of being disappointed by people, and that Lee is one of the few people she's met who's kept her entertained and interested, who she genuinely likes, and if there's more to the attraction, Zak thinks it's worth it to see her grin when Lee keeps up with her.
And Zak also knows that if they'd gone any farther, if they'd done what they wanted to do, it would have been great and they'd both have seen stars, until they came back down and realized what had happened and at that point, the impossibility of their situation would have killed them both. To Kara, Zak knows, it'll be another reminder of how screwed up she is, that she'd frak her boyfriend's brother, no matter how thick the tension between them was. For Lee, it'll be the shame of having gone behind his little brother's back, having taken the girl who's made his little brother's world. They both love him, he knows, and that's almost the problem, because it means he stands between them.
But it's Zak's ring on Kara's finger, and even if it's not yet official (he hasn't actually asked her, not really), he knows she'll say yes. And that's all he wants. Her name with his and her presence in his life made permanent, and if she looks too long at his brother when he's over, that doesn't mean that she doesn't love him, too, which suits Zak fine.
Because in the end, all that matters is that he loves his girlfriend and he loves his brother, and he'll do what it takes to keep that family together.
FIN