(no subject)
I'm having a really rough semester. So much has changed, so much needs to change. so much has changed without me knowing it. I havent posted on here in forever, but I don't think anyone really reads this anymore, so I came to a common place where I can just vent. I dont know whats going on today. I'm having a really sad day. The holidays are really hard this year. I'm sick of being the odd one out. It's always 5. Though when I think about it, I like having my freedom, I like going out on dates, but not having to report to someone. Though I have someone whom I could date, I choose not to. It's no one fault I'm single. It's the way it's supossed to be, I guess. I have so much else going on, though I feel like I am losing a grasp on that as well. I don't know how to regain control. I feel like I'm about to have a minor meltdown....and there's no time for that. Maybe that's the problem. I don't give myself time for the minor meltdowns needed in life. Plus I love someone who will never love me back. It's terrible. Okay maybe not love. those are really strong words. But I havent let myself care about someone in a long time. Not like this. Someday I'll look back and read this and know I was being silly. It's just that I feel lonely sometimes, and today is one of those days.