hugs and stuff :-)
hmmmmmmmmmm...I think I'm starting to really like Lars :-s....I went over to his last night to watch a film and eat...it was really cozy and comfy we were both lying down and just hugged during the film...we talked quite a lot...kinda sizing each other up about relationships, past conquests, love ect. I know I don't want a relationship as I am still on the rebound but it's nice that he is there...he played the guitar for me too :-) I haven't had someone play the guitar for me in sooo long...and while he was playing he looked up at me and smile and I almost...almost melted...FUCK. I stayed over at his too, borrowed his pj's...we talked until late. Deep down maybe I want soemthing to happen but i'm really scared of getting hurt again...and he said last night that he had his heart broken by someone too, he really really liked his best friend for 5 years and one day found the courage to tell her but she said even though she would marry him in a second, she saw him more like a brother than anything else, it crushed him and he couldn't even talk to her for 4 months...now he says they are ok but he's given up all hope of love...I kinda feel the same way like i couldn't fully love someone, or at that I wouldn't allow myself to love someone for a very very long time unless I was sure.
He said that I was really tender and affectionate which I do like being a lot! It just feels nice...there is no sex just a little bit of tenderness. I think my confidence levels dropped loads after PAtri...although the confidence started going from january and it's definitely made me feel good...BUT I don't want to like him too much.
Now...I need to study!!!
oooo...and P did figure out :-s...and deleted all the photo's from London or maybe he just made them private I don't know...again it is just a tad bit harsh but i think he probably would have reacted like this whether i had said anything or not, after all he did last time. I did send him an email just saying why...I don't think he cares but it's just to let him know that I'm not being a bitch...I'm just sick of feeling so bad all the time and I've tried just leaving it...letting it sit there in the background but I know he's chatting with others on skype and on facebook and he's within his rights to do so but it makes me feel like shit and it will do until I get over him...only thing it the worse i feel the harder it seems to get over him :-s but at least ...well, thank fuck, i kinda have a distraction now should speed up the process hopefully!
xxxx
He said that I was really tender and affectionate which I do like being a lot! It just feels nice...there is no sex just a little bit of tenderness. I think my confidence levels dropped loads after PAtri...although the confidence started going from january and it's definitely made me feel good...BUT I don't want to like him too much.
Now...I need to study!!!
oooo...and P did figure out :-s...and deleted all the photo's from London or maybe he just made them private I don't know...again it is just a tad bit harsh but i think he probably would have reacted like this whether i had said anything or not, after all he did last time. I did send him an email just saying why...I don't think he cares but it's just to let him know that I'm not being a bitch...I'm just sick of feeling so bad all the time and I've tried just leaving it...letting it sit there in the background but I know he's chatting with others on skype and on facebook and he's within his rights to do so but it makes me feel like shit and it will do until I get over him...only thing it the worse i feel the harder it seems to get over him :-s but at least ...well, thank fuck, i kinda have a distraction now should speed up the process hopefully!
xxxx