(no subject)
2 days until Montreal!!!
Nat reserved a place for New Year's-- the Empire Grill. On the menu: rabbit and bison!! lol There's a bar, and a dance floor. I can't believe I'm bringing in the new year with Nat and Chant ........... 2009 is already starting awesome.
So much to do before I leave. I am cooking the Christmas dinner and still need to go buy ingredients-- it's going to be a Mexican Navidad :). I'm making Birria again, with tamales.
My Christmas shopping is still not done. Like a frightened turtle I try to stay indoors as much as possible haha All those Christmas shoppers make it difficult to shop even for things not related to christmas. A simple run to Wal-mart to rent a DVD takes twice as long, for example.
I go out more and more, even when I don't feel like it. I force myself because it's good for me-- and I am making progress, I can see it. Instead of thinking of Vic non-stop, now it's only memories once in a while. When the sadness hits me though, I kinda shut down. Saturday I left the party early, like at 10pm.
I never want to go back, that is for sure. I have more respect for myself and I can be happier, just gotta tough this break up out..... The issues Vic and I had will never go away. The past speaks for itself; I looked at my diary over the past year and as far back as March we were having problems. I am done putting up with his bullshit, I am not putting up with it anymore.
I don't want to be that girl who holds on to a guy no matter what, even as she turns into a door-mat. Believe me, I am capable of it, I care so much about Vic I've already compromised on so much. Saturday at the party I met who has been dating a guy for 3 years, but the guy has a girlfriend who he has not left for her after all this time........ you could tell she was so in love with him-- she went on and on about her guy-- but the guy clearly felt differently. I didn't say what I was really thinking, but I could see myself in that girl, choosing to ignore the clear signs, just to hold on to his love. And in that moment, as much as my heart ached for victor, I was SO glad to be free. SO proud of myself for demanding more for myself.
My new journey to starts with a good-bye. To get to that blue horizon ahead I will start by letting go of what I loved so much. I'll wait with open, empty hands, ready to be filled!
Nat reserved a place for New Year's-- the Empire Grill. On the menu: rabbit and bison!! lol There's a bar, and a dance floor. I can't believe I'm bringing in the new year with Nat and Chant ........... 2009 is already starting awesome.
So much to do before I leave. I am cooking the Christmas dinner and still need to go buy ingredients-- it's going to be a Mexican Navidad :). I'm making Birria again, with tamales.
My Christmas shopping is still not done. Like a frightened turtle I try to stay indoors as much as possible haha All those Christmas shoppers make it difficult to shop even for things not related to christmas. A simple run to Wal-mart to rent a DVD takes twice as long, for example.
I go out more and more, even when I don't feel like it. I force myself because it's good for me-- and I am making progress, I can see it. Instead of thinking of Vic non-stop, now it's only memories once in a while. When the sadness hits me though, I kinda shut down. Saturday I left the party early, like at 10pm.
I never want to go back, that is for sure. I have more respect for myself and I can be happier, just gotta tough this break up out..... The issues Vic and I had will never go away. The past speaks for itself; I looked at my diary over the past year and as far back as March we were having problems. I am done putting up with his bullshit, I am not putting up with it anymore.
I don't want to be that girl who holds on to a guy no matter what, even as she turns into a door-mat. Believe me, I am capable of it, I care so much about Vic I've already compromised on so much. Saturday at the party I met who has been dating a guy for 3 years, but the guy has a girlfriend who he has not left for her after all this time........ you could tell she was so in love with him-- she went on and on about her guy-- but the guy clearly felt differently. I didn't say what I was really thinking, but I could see myself in that girl, choosing to ignore the clear signs, just to hold on to his love. And in that moment, as much as my heart ached for victor, I was SO glad to be free. SO proud of myself for demanding more for myself.
My new journey to starts with a good-bye. To get to that blue horizon ahead I will start by letting go of what I loved so much. I'll wait with open, empty hands, ready to be filled!