Dedication to my Gabe

[niff_i_ness]

Hey Hey LG here! I'm doing something a little different for this entry. I want to introduce y'all to my boi gabe. Startin almost exactly four years ago, I met the biggest pain in my ass. lol(gabe no offence)I was with a guy at the time, and you know I never pictured me with gabe. Well I ended up cheating on my bf with gabe. While I was with my current bf I started getting feelings for gabe. Ones I never thought I'd follow thru with. Well on June 3rd 2001, adam and I broke up, and who was there to pick me up? You got it Gabe was, he was there for me and eventually me and gabe got together. I loved gabe from the beginning. I won't say that I had the best relationship in the world with him because we were together and broke up 50 million times(exaggeration) but I still loved him through the whole heartache. Gabe was my first true love. Even now 4yrs later I can say I love him to death and I always will love him. Anytime I need advice Gabe is always there for me. Last year and this is the thing I regret the most, I went out with Gabe's best friend Matt. Y'all probably remember the whole ordeal from entries in the past. Gabe told me he hated me and even tho I was with Matt, I still loved gabe. Needless to say the relationship didn't work out with Matt and Gabe told me it wouldn't, and I wished I would've listened to him. I hate the fact that I ruined so much with Gabe over a guy. What gabe and I had was special, now I know it won't ever go back to the way it was before I still wish we could be closer then we are now. This is something I hate to admit, but while Gabe was with other girls I was SO jealous, I wished it was me instead, I know it'll never happen again, but still if it ever came down to me 'n Gabe gettin back together I'd drop and hook with him immediately. Gabe still has this KILLER power over me, if he asks me or BRUTALLY tells me to do something I'll do it, no matter what. I'm stuck on him! Sometimes he is still the last person I think about before I fall asleep and the very first person I think of when I wake up, and ocassionally I have dreams of him. Recently I need a friend (MONDAY) and the only person I could goto was Gabe because I couldn't tell my mom what was going on and I best friend wasn't home from school yet. But yet Gabe was still there for me. I appriciate everything I have with Gabe and I'll never regret anything that I had with gabe. But because I know I can trust gabe I tell him everything. I wish Gabe could still trust me but I know he'll never be able to trust me again. Even still I want gabe to know that I'll always be there for him. Today April 27th I still LOVE Gabe with all my heart, and I wouldn't tell him that to his face because I don't want rejected but he is going to read this journal and know the truth, but I will feel much better knowing it's out on the table. Knowing that I'll never have a chance with gabe again, breaks my heart but I respect it all the more becuase chances are if me 'n gabe did end up back together...it'd ruin the little bit of the friendship we do have left. So now This is MY dedication to MY gabe....Gabe I'll always love u boo, no matter what...even 10yrs from now I'll still have feelings for you even we're both married. So yeah now I'm out. I love U Gabe...
~*~love niffz~*~