I love Christine Renfro
So I just got back from New Orleans and of course I had the best time ever. I forgot how much fun it is to have my best friend, i guess bc I've gotten so wrapped up in school and working. I needed a break tho, from everything.
Work had consumed me... 50+ hours a week at Little Angels Playhouse teaching preschool to 3 and 4 year olds... and also dealing with a 6 year old boy who had tumors on his brain, thus his behavior was more like a 1 year old. He was so sweet tho, affectionate, but also had a problem with hitting, usually me... Anyway, it wasa tremendous experience but I'm thankful it's over and I can continue actually being a 19-year-old...almost 20 tho, which I keep reminding my parents...
I'm about to start up school again at UH... not exactly where I want to be, but like i said before, if this is what I have to do to get to UT, then i'll do it. Each experience builds your character right? It just makes me feel like such a loser sometimes... like everyone else has their school that they belong to or at least identify with and I just keep bouncing around texas like a gypsy... I just want to establish myself... i feel like my identity is so fragile, like I don't even know who I am or what I want... i guess that's normal at this age.
Relationships, relationships... it's so hard to love someone so much and have to let go of them because you kno it's the best thing for him and maybe even you too. Everyone keeps telling me that it's for the best... it's just hard. You imagine yourself being with someone for the rest of your life and so you build yourself based on that future. Then one day, :::POOF::: he's gone, and you're left wandering, lost without them because you had depended on them for three years for reassurance and love. The hardest part about breaking up isnt necessarily losing the boyfriend or girlfriend... i think it's actually learning how to love yourself... and i'm learning, slowly:)
But as I keep telling myself, it's something we both have to go thru to grow...
Anyway, Louisiana was incredible... it allowed for a lot of personal healling, much needed repair... there's just something about being around christine... as gay as that sounds.. .it's like we're sitting in the living room with Joey and Jamie laughing our asses off, about absolutely nothing.. they think we're drunk even tho we're so sober we could do backflips... i just miss being around her so much, i miss living life with her there with me to laugh about it... I wish I could move back and get an apartment in Slidell or something and we could hang out all the time, but I know i have to finish school here... ah... In the next couple of days I'm going to try to put up some pictures from the trip... I had such a blast hanging out with not only christine, but Cadence and Joslyn too... it's like having nieces... and staying up late with Jamie every night even tho he was probably exhausted, watching Sports Center and True Life: I want the perfect body... and just goofing off... and Jason, who always seems to be able to turn my life upside down and make me feel fine about any crap that's going on
I feel amazing...
Work had consumed me... 50+ hours a week at Little Angels Playhouse teaching preschool to 3 and 4 year olds... and also dealing with a 6 year old boy who had tumors on his brain, thus his behavior was more like a 1 year old. He was so sweet tho, affectionate, but also had a problem with hitting, usually me... Anyway, it wasa tremendous experience but I'm thankful it's over and I can continue actually being a 19-year-old...almost 20 tho, which I keep reminding my parents...
I'm about to start up school again at UH... not exactly where I want to be, but like i said before, if this is what I have to do to get to UT, then i'll do it. Each experience builds your character right? It just makes me feel like such a loser sometimes... like everyone else has their school that they belong to or at least identify with and I just keep bouncing around texas like a gypsy... I just want to establish myself... i feel like my identity is so fragile, like I don't even know who I am or what I want... i guess that's normal at this age.
Relationships, relationships... it's so hard to love someone so much and have to let go of them because you kno it's the best thing for him and maybe even you too. Everyone keeps telling me that it's for the best... it's just hard. You imagine yourself being with someone for the rest of your life and so you build yourself based on that future. Then one day, :::POOF::: he's gone, and you're left wandering, lost without them because you had depended on them for three years for reassurance and love. The hardest part about breaking up isnt necessarily losing the boyfriend or girlfriend... i think it's actually learning how to love yourself... and i'm learning, slowly:)
But as I keep telling myself, it's something we both have to go thru to grow...
Anyway, Louisiana was incredible... it allowed for a lot of personal healling, much needed repair... there's just something about being around christine... as gay as that sounds.. .it's like we're sitting in the living room with Joey and Jamie laughing our asses off, about absolutely nothing.. they think we're drunk even tho we're so sober we could do backflips... i just miss being around her so much, i miss living life with her there with me to laugh about it... I wish I could move back and get an apartment in Slidell or something and we could hang out all the time, but I know i have to finish school here... ah... In the next couple of days I'm going to try to put up some pictures from the trip... I had such a blast hanging out with not only christine, but Cadence and Joslyn too... it's like having nieces... and staying up late with Jamie every night even tho he was probably exhausted, watching Sports Center and True Life: I want the perfect body... and just goofing off... and Jason, who always seems to be able to turn my life upside down and make me feel fine about any crap that's going on
I feel amazing...