NVC: Meeting Our Need for Trust
Meeting Our Need for Trust
I once dated someone whose stories changed frequently. He always had an explanation if I asked him about them. Other times, he told me things that I simply didn’t believe. Still, I questioned my own reality throughout the year we dated.
I didn’t focus on whether my need for trust was being met. I focused on whether he was telling the truth. In a sense, I tried to meet my need for trust by listening to someone else’s reality. I learned a valuable lesson in this relationship. It doesn’t matter what the truth is. What matters is whether my need for trust is met.
I don’t have to blame other people and think of them as liars. I only have to focus on whether my needs are met. If they aren’t, I make specific requests to meet my needs, while also respecting the other person’s needs. This shift in focus has dramatically improved my relationships.