and that's what you get for falling again, you can never get him out of your head <3
Every Wednesday I now have a 2 hour lunch. It's pretty intense. I don't really know what to do with myself actually.
I went and watched a suprisingly exciting basketball game on Monday. Lots of Bellevue Romanians. They're very friendly, nice kidsss. Not hard on the eyes, either. I can't really decide if I'm wasting my time or not though. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I shouldn't feel quite so bad for having a superficial attraction that outweighs the personality attraction...by quite a fair amount?
The first thing I notice is how someone dresses and their confidence.
Their body type.
Their fingernails and teeth.
Then everything else mushes together in a big pot of...looking?
Excepttttt before you think I'm THAT big of a bitch, be assured that personality has to be there the whole time. As well as some chemistry.
Does that mean that I look for personality WHILE being superficial? Or is it bad that I constantly find myself LOOKING before actually SEEING?
I'm not sure it matters, I guess I'll just kinda go with the flow since senior year is officially halfway over and wrapping up more and more each day. You can't have anything serious now, so you just have to hope the best is yet to come?
I'm kinda pessimistic I suppose, but that's perfectly fine with me. This could be round two, and I'm gona hop into this round with a little more self respect. I figure if someone really wants to see you, you have to test it out by being "busy" and see if they actually pursue spending time with you--when it's not just convenient for them. So far the saying, "if they want to see you, they'll make time" has worked out decently. I would bet I'm too stubborn, but it's bound to get me somewhere?
So...game on, we shall see what the motives really are.
TRISTAN AND ISOLDE ISN'T PLAYING ANYMORE. I THINK I'M PROBABLY DYING. RIGHT NOW. how depressing :(
Time for some green&jasmine tea, a rousing game of tetris, andddd bed.
I went and watched a suprisingly exciting basketball game on Monday. Lots of Bellevue Romanians. They're very friendly, nice kidsss. Not hard on the eyes, either. I can't really decide if I'm wasting my time or not though. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I shouldn't feel quite so bad for having a superficial attraction that outweighs the personality attraction...by quite a fair amount?
The first thing I notice is how someone dresses and their confidence.
Their body type.
Their fingernails and teeth.
Then everything else mushes together in a big pot of...looking?
Excepttttt before you think I'm THAT big of a bitch, be assured that personality has to be there the whole time. As well as some chemistry.
Does that mean that I look for personality WHILE being superficial? Or is it bad that I constantly find myself LOOKING before actually SEEING?
I'm not sure it matters, I guess I'll just kinda go with the flow since senior year is officially halfway over and wrapping up more and more each day. You can't have anything serious now, so you just have to hope the best is yet to come?
I'm kinda pessimistic I suppose, but that's perfectly fine with me. This could be round two, and I'm gona hop into this round with a little more self respect. I figure if someone really wants to see you, you have to test it out by being "busy" and see if they actually pursue spending time with you--when it's not just convenient for them. So far the saying, "if they want to see you, they'll make time" has worked out decently. I would bet I'm too stubborn, but it's bound to get me somewhere?
So...game on, we shall see what the motives really are.
TRISTAN AND ISOLDE ISN'T PLAYING ANYMORE. I THINK I'M PROBABLY DYING. RIGHT NOW. how depressing :(
Time for some green&jasmine tea, a rousing game of tetris, andddd bed.