[Fic] Beginners! Drama Part 1
Titel: Beginners! Drama Part 1
Pairing: HiroSuke
Disclamer: Sadly I don't own any of them... the story is mine! For once I thought about it myself :) For denkira because she finished her work!
A very big Thank you to Ronja (still wihout livejournal) for correcting my mistakes :)
Summary: What happened after Kitayama has to punch Fujigaya on the set of Beginners!
Warnings: English isn't my mother tongue so forgive me some mistakes. If there are any grammatical faults, please tell me!! It's corrected!!! If you there's still something wrong, please tell me!!
A/N: Italics = thoughts
I actually didn't really thought I would ever write HiroSuke myself... Anyone who feels responsible that I did, yes, you are also one of the reasons I wrot this!!!!
Kitayama was grabbing Fujigaya’s collar, a scary look on his face. “Don’t say that again!” Fujigaya seemed a bit surprised at first, but soon a bright smile spread on his face. Seconds later there was a hand slapping his cheek in a light manner. He barely felt anything. That will never look convincing enough.
“Cut!” Just as he thought the director wasn’t satisfied with their fighting sceene.
“Kitayama! I can understand if you don’t want to hit your group mate… but now the two of you are no longer Kis-My’s Kitayama and Fujigaya, you are Tachibana Danji and Shimura Teppei! Your character is very pissed off by Shimura’s behavior. You don’t have to use real force, just make it look real! Now again!”
Seven takes later their director wasn’t the only one who was at the end of his patience. The whole team was quite pissed off. “And cut! That’s enough for today! We’ll try again tomorrow… Kitayama!” The small guy seemed smaller than he already was. “Yes?” - “You better find a way until tomorrow how to manage this scene! You can’t fail already in the first episode!”
Fujigaya was already sitting in their dressing room. He thought about how he could make things easier for the other. He could imagine how hard it must be for the other to slap him. It was also difficult for him getting hit that many times by his boyfriend. It hurt his heart. Even thought he knew it wasn’t Kitayama slapping him. It was Danji slapping Teppei.
There was one thing he could do… But he didn’t like thinking about it. It would be too cruel. While he changed out of his drama clothes he thought about what other possibilities there were. When hi was fully clothed in his street clothes again, he made his mind up. There really was no other way…
It would get hard, for both of them; most probably there would also be many awkward situations. But in the end they would have it easier acting, wouldn’t get distracted that easily and there were many other people there anyway.
Fujigaya sat on the sofa and waited. When Kitayama got back he looked really tired, and Fujigaya wavered in his decision. Am I really doing the right thing?
“Taipi～” Kitayama was snuggling up to Fujigaya, wrapping his arms around the younger, not recognizing how stiff the other sat there.
“Why does the script have to be like that? I don’t want to hit you! They can’t make me slap my boyfriend with all my might! That's just not fair!”
He looked at Fujigaya who didn’t react at all until now. “Ne～ Taipi, I’m really sorry.” Just when he leaned up to kiss Fujigaya and he didn’t lean down like he usually does, it came to Kitayama that something was different.
“Taisuke, what’s wrong?” Fujigaya was all stiff, Kitayama pulled back, and took the others hand instead. He waited for the other to speak. But Fujigaya stayed silent, eyes not looking somewhere in particular. “Taisuke talk to me… please… don’t stay all silent! Tell me what’s bothering you.” Kitayama tried to get his boyfriend to talk.
"Hiro… I…" Fujigaya closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It's now or never! "I want us to… to… break up…" He quickly glanced at the older, but soon looked away again, not being able to stand the hurt look Kitayama had on his face.
"W… wh… why?"
"I'm no longer sure about my feelings." Fujigaya still wasn't able to look at Kitayama, afraid that the other would see through his lies immediately. His heart felt like it was ripped in to thousand piece. Falling apart as he continued talking. "I still… I think I still like you… but maybe more like a friend? There is also a feeling I can't define yet for Ayame-chan. She's a very cute and bright person, I like to be with… so… please."
He took of his necklace, the one he got from Kitayama when they started dating. "I'm no longer going to wear it." He intended to give it back, but when it was in his hands he couldn't do it. He just kept in there. With his heart in pieces it was the only thing he could hold onto.
Inside of his head there was a voice screaming NOOOO! But now there’s no going back anymore. No longer. He ruined his own life. It was all his fault.
Fujigaya stood up, bowed slightly and walked out of the room. As soon as the door fell close behind him, tears started to build inside his eyes. He let them run free, now that he was no longer in one room with Kitayama. He took his phone and dialed his mother’s number. "Okaa-san can you please pick me up?"
He was sure she heard his tears, he was also sure she would be there as soon as possible. He couldn't stay that close to Kitayama for now. If the older would come out of their dressing room he was sure he would apologize immediately and beg the other for forgiveness. That wasn't what he planned. How much it hurt, it was his own decision and he needed to hold onto it.
He left the building through the back exit, the one he knew Kitayama would never use. There he waited for his mother to pick him up.
***
He didn't know how he got home, tears streaming down his cheeks, blurring his view. When the door closed behind him Kitayama broke down. His legs didn't carry him to his bedroom. Knowing that his mother wouldn't be home until late he curled up beside the door until his sobbing got better a bit.
After hours his sobs got slightly lighter. His body felt kind of numb. Like it didn't belong to him. He tried to coordinate his limbs and crawled into the living room. When he reached the sofa, he was exhausted. His tears started to flow again and he cried until he fell asleep.
When the morning came and Kitayama woke up his tears were dried. His body was no longer feeling numb like the evening before. The pain still sitting somewhere in his upper left half, burning him alive.
He kind of was afraid of entering his own room, very well aware of the fact that on his table there was the matching necklace to the one Fujigaya's no longer going to wear.
But he needed to change and get ready for work, with Kis-My and… Fujigaya… there was no chance in avoiding the younger.
New tears dwelling up in his eyes. He tried to surpass them knowing that they wouldn't stop too soon if they started rolling for real.
He only glance at the mirror, knowing he looked like shit. He hoped the others wouldn't ask too many questions. He wouldn't be able to answer them without tearing up…
***
Fujigaya was also crying until late that night. After his mother brought him home, he told her everything. She held him gentle and told him it was alright. She would be there for him. Without eating dinner he tried to sleep afterwards, but his tears didn't dry until then, and he buried his head in his cushions.
When the tears started to lessen, his thoughts started to be active. He wasn't able to sleep. Accusing himself during the night, he asked questions like Why, why did I do this? The longer he lied there in his bed, his motive seemed less convincing. When his alarm clock started ringing he was still thinking about Why?
He couldn't show his real mental condition at work, so he started to act like normal when he ate breakfast with his family. He knew he could fool his father and his brothers quite well. He didn't recognize that something was wrong with him. But he was just as sure, that he couldn't fool his mother.
She saw his tears the day before and heard his story. He didn't know how much sense he made when he told her, but at least she knew how broken hearted he was. He knew he was right, when she offered to drop him of in the morning.
Arriving at the Jimusho, she asked if he really was ok. He nodded and promised to call her if he wasn't feeling good.
To enter the building and pretending that nothing was wrong was the hardest thing to do. In front of the Kis-My-Ft2 dressing room he paused for a second and took a deep breath. Then he entered and greeted the others.
Kitayama was already there only spearing him a glare for a second and excusing himself to go to the toilet. Tamamori was eying them suspicious. But it seemed the others didn't recognize that they were not like usual.
Tamamori sent Fujigaya another look, asking for permission, before following Kitayama out of the room. Something surely was not alright. He would make sure their group was not going to fall apart.
***
Seeing Fujigaya enter their dressing room, acting like nothing was wrong, felt like a punch in the face. Like the punch he should give the other later that day. He wasn't sure if he could keep up his mask around the others. What should I do? Will I turn to ashes if this burning doesn't stop? He knew he was being unreasonable, silly.
Where should I go? Despite having said, he would go to the toilet, he headed to the roof top. Maybe I can put out the fire with the wind there… Most probably not… But then I could end it with… no, I can't do that… Not to my mum and the other members… and he wouldn't cry for me…
When he recognized his surroundings again he was already standing on the roof top. looking down to the street. The people walking past the building looked like puppets. No one of them could stop him if he really wanted to jump. Powerless they would have to watch his falling body. Maybe they would try to catch him. If they recognized he was falling.
He took a step closer to the edge. Why could he be free from giddiness. Tamamori was. Why can't I? he thought as cold sweat started forming on his forehead. He took another step. There are still three meters to go. And he was already shaking from fear. Could he really do it?
Would the other members understand? Would they hate him for being so weak? I'm the oldest. I have to bring the group together! I can't just give up. That's not like me!! He took a second step back. But how can I survive with this burning hole in me? The wind's not helping at all!! One step, two step… he was closer to the edge than before.
"NOO, HIROMITSU NOT!"
Who's that? Is there someone who still cares about me? And he took a step back again. Who is it? And then he felt arms around his waist, holding him, preventing him from falling, from falling down or falling apart, he wasn't sure.
Part 2
Pairing: HiroSuke
Disclamer: Sadly I don't own any of them... the story is mine! For once I thought about it myself :) For denkira because she finished her work!
A very big Thank you to Ronja (still wihout livejournal) for correcting my mistakes :)
Summary: What happened after Kitayama has to punch Fujigaya on the set of Beginners!
Warnings: English isn't my mother tongue so forgive me some mistakes. If there are any grammatical faults, please tell me!! It's corrected!!! If you there's still something wrong, please tell me!!
A/N: Italics = thoughts
I actually didn't really thought I would ever write HiroSuke myself... Anyone who feels responsible that I did, yes, you are also one of the reasons I wrot this!!!!
Kitayama was grabbing Fujigaya’s collar, a scary look on his face. “Don’t say that again!” Fujigaya seemed a bit surprised at first, but soon a bright smile spread on his face. Seconds later there was a hand slapping his cheek in a light manner. He barely felt anything. That will never look convincing enough.
“Cut!” Just as he thought the director wasn’t satisfied with their fighting sceene.
“Kitayama! I can understand if you don’t want to hit your group mate… but now the two of you are no longer Kis-My’s Kitayama and Fujigaya, you are Tachibana Danji and Shimura Teppei! Your character is very pissed off by Shimura’s behavior. You don’t have to use real force, just make it look real! Now again!”
Seven takes later their director wasn’t the only one who was at the end of his patience. The whole team was quite pissed off. “And cut! That’s enough for today! We’ll try again tomorrow… Kitayama!” The small guy seemed smaller than he already was. “Yes?” - “You better find a way until tomorrow how to manage this scene! You can’t fail already in the first episode!”
Fujigaya was already sitting in their dressing room. He thought about how he could make things easier for the other. He could imagine how hard it must be for the other to slap him. It was also difficult for him getting hit that many times by his boyfriend. It hurt his heart. Even thought he knew it wasn’t Kitayama slapping him. It was Danji slapping Teppei.
There was one thing he could do… But he didn’t like thinking about it. It would be too cruel. While he changed out of his drama clothes he thought about what other possibilities there were. When hi was fully clothed in his street clothes again, he made his mind up. There really was no other way…
It would get hard, for both of them; most probably there would also be many awkward situations. But in the end they would have it easier acting, wouldn’t get distracted that easily and there were many other people there anyway.
Fujigaya sat on the sofa and waited. When Kitayama got back he looked really tired, and Fujigaya wavered in his decision. Am I really doing the right thing?
“Taipi～” Kitayama was snuggling up to Fujigaya, wrapping his arms around the younger, not recognizing how stiff the other sat there.
“Why does the script have to be like that? I don’t want to hit you! They can’t make me slap my boyfriend with all my might! That's just not fair!”
He looked at Fujigaya who didn’t react at all until now. “Ne～ Taipi, I’m really sorry.” Just when he leaned up to kiss Fujigaya and he didn’t lean down like he usually does, it came to Kitayama that something was different.
“Taisuke, what’s wrong?” Fujigaya was all stiff, Kitayama pulled back, and took the others hand instead. He waited for the other to speak. But Fujigaya stayed silent, eyes not looking somewhere in particular. “Taisuke talk to me… please… don’t stay all silent! Tell me what’s bothering you.” Kitayama tried to get his boyfriend to talk.
"Hiro… I…" Fujigaya closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It's now or never! "I want us to… to… break up…" He quickly glanced at the older, but soon looked away again, not being able to stand the hurt look Kitayama had on his face.
"W… wh… why?"
"I'm no longer sure about my feelings." Fujigaya still wasn't able to look at Kitayama, afraid that the other would see through his lies immediately. His heart felt like it was ripped in to thousand piece. Falling apart as he continued talking. "I still… I think I still like you… but maybe more like a friend? There is also a feeling I can't define yet for Ayame-chan. She's a very cute and bright person, I like to be with… so… please."
He took of his necklace, the one he got from Kitayama when they started dating. "I'm no longer going to wear it." He intended to give it back, but when it was in his hands he couldn't do it. He just kept in there. With his heart in pieces it was the only thing he could hold onto.
Inside of his head there was a voice screaming NOOOO! But now there’s no going back anymore. No longer. He ruined his own life. It was all his fault.
Fujigaya stood up, bowed slightly and walked out of the room. As soon as the door fell close behind him, tears started to build inside his eyes. He let them run free, now that he was no longer in one room with Kitayama. He took his phone and dialed his mother’s number. "Okaa-san can you please pick me up?"
He was sure she heard his tears, he was also sure she would be there as soon as possible. He couldn't stay that close to Kitayama for now. If the older would come out of their dressing room he was sure he would apologize immediately and beg the other for forgiveness. That wasn't what he planned. How much it hurt, it was his own decision and he needed to hold onto it.
He left the building through the back exit, the one he knew Kitayama would never use. There he waited for his mother to pick him up.
***
He didn't know how he got home, tears streaming down his cheeks, blurring his view. When the door closed behind him Kitayama broke down. His legs didn't carry him to his bedroom. Knowing that his mother wouldn't be home until late he curled up beside the door until his sobbing got better a bit.
After hours his sobs got slightly lighter. His body felt kind of numb. Like it didn't belong to him. He tried to coordinate his limbs and crawled into the living room. When he reached the sofa, he was exhausted. His tears started to flow again and he cried until he fell asleep.
When the morning came and Kitayama woke up his tears were dried. His body was no longer feeling numb like the evening before. The pain still sitting somewhere in his upper left half, burning him alive.
He kind of was afraid of entering his own room, very well aware of the fact that on his table there was the matching necklace to the one Fujigaya's no longer going to wear.
But he needed to change and get ready for work, with Kis-My and… Fujigaya… there was no chance in avoiding the younger.
New tears dwelling up in his eyes. He tried to surpass them knowing that they wouldn't stop too soon if they started rolling for real.
He only glance at the mirror, knowing he looked like shit. He hoped the others wouldn't ask too many questions. He wouldn't be able to answer them without tearing up…
***
Fujigaya was also crying until late that night. After his mother brought him home, he told her everything. She held him gentle and told him it was alright. She would be there for him. Without eating dinner he tried to sleep afterwards, but his tears didn't dry until then, and he buried his head in his cushions.
When the tears started to lessen, his thoughts started to be active. He wasn't able to sleep. Accusing himself during the night, he asked questions like Why, why did I do this? The longer he lied there in his bed, his motive seemed less convincing. When his alarm clock started ringing he was still thinking about Why?
He couldn't show his real mental condition at work, so he started to act like normal when he ate breakfast with his family. He knew he could fool his father and his brothers quite well. He didn't recognize that something was wrong with him. But he was just as sure, that he couldn't fool his mother.
She saw his tears the day before and heard his story. He didn't know how much sense he made when he told her, but at least she knew how broken hearted he was. He knew he was right, when she offered to drop him of in the morning.
Arriving at the Jimusho, she asked if he really was ok. He nodded and promised to call her if he wasn't feeling good.
To enter the building and pretending that nothing was wrong was the hardest thing to do. In front of the Kis-My-Ft2 dressing room he paused for a second and took a deep breath. Then he entered and greeted the others.
Kitayama was already there only spearing him a glare for a second and excusing himself to go to the toilet. Tamamori was eying them suspicious. But it seemed the others didn't recognize that they were not like usual.
Tamamori sent Fujigaya another look, asking for permission, before following Kitayama out of the room. Something surely was not alright. He would make sure their group was not going to fall apart.
***
Seeing Fujigaya enter their dressing room, acting like nothing was wrong, felt like a punch in the face. Like the punch he should give the other later that day. He wasn't sure if he could keep up his mask around the others. What should I do? Will I turn to ashes if this burning doesn't stop? He knew he was being unreasonable, silly.
Where should I go? Despite having said, he would go to the toilet, he headed to the roof top. Maybe I can put out the fire with the wind there… Most probably not… But then I could end it with… no, I can't do that… Not to my mum and the other members… and he wouldn't cry for me…
When he recognized his surroundings again he was already standing on the roof top. looking down to the street. The people walking past the building looked like puppets. No one of them could stop him if he really wanted to jump. Powerless they would have to watch his falling body. Maybe they would try to catch him. If they recognized he was falling.
He took a step closer to the edge. Why could he be free from giddiness. Tamamori was. Why can't I? he thought as cold sweat started forming on his forehead. He took another step. There are still three meters to go. And he was already shaking from fear. Could he really do it?
Would the other members understand? Would they hate him for being so weak? I'm the oldest. I have to bring the group together! I can't just give up. That's not like me!! He took a second step back. But how can I survive with this burning hole in me? The wind's not helping at all!! One step, two step… he was closer to the edge than before.
"NOO, HIROMITSU NOT!"
Who's that? Is there someone who still cares about me? And he took a step back again. Who is it? And then he felt arms around his waist, holding him, preventing him from falling, from falling down or falling apart, he wasn't sure.
Part 2