wow.... now i wonder if anyone at all will see this one how long since last?
the longest ever gap in my blogging on here ever its official... obviously its been that long I had to check to see when the last one was and its literally been 17 months since I last posted anything on here, that being a mention about Poland etc. so its been a very very long time since then! Obviously!
Why am I back? whats happened since I last posted?
Again going to have a very quick skim read in my previous post... Prob should have before I started this but its not me unless I have a babble... hallé rant first right! woo remembering the old references!
Right so it was basically celebrating how great 2013 was, and it was fantastic. New York memory, Polands disaster which, like I said then I can look back on fondly, getting with Jaycie, planning for Vegas! Worlds looking great! What could possibly go wrong....
Well! Honestly... lifes been pretty shit since. Start with a positive tho, the job that I was starting to actually getting a little positive with, well I got promoted, how many times on here have I ever said that, its been me slagging off people for not doing it, well craig, my (gay) boss, kept his word I got trained an around april may last year I finished my training an been a manager for past 9 months or however long it is along with the pay rise an what not. honestly, it doesn't feel like my job has changed all that much except I have to set an example, which I prob don't do enough, and I have to be responsible for building etc, which I think im actually pretty good at! half way there right?
honestly tho, I've looked at other jobs because, the money, while better, isn't good enough for what I need, which is my own place etc. so times kinda coming up where I have to make the next big step...
Speaking of big steps... we took a very big step over to las vegas too! the holiday did indeed happen, September last year, an without a doubt it was one of only two real highlights of the year for me, it was absolutely amazing trip there, granted new York was prob the greatest trip of my life how do you compare to a trip with wrestlemania Niagara falls times square the white house Madison square garden etc, you don't ....
but vegas without doubt replaced the blackpools as the ultimate guys trip experience ...
the flight there with the drama with ryan nearly getting our plane turned around, the pure adrenaline rush we all had when we finally found our limo pick up and sat down put the music on an just bam! champagne popped as did we music on the sights of vegas right there, that arguably was the best high of the year. without a doubt. then the coyotes night, both of them lol, the grand canyon, my one an prob only ever poker tournament showing (dan beat me) gambling in ceasars palace, the passed out guitarist we all thought was a hero... drinking in style in suits... it was absolutely unbelievable trip. loved it.
the other highlight, that I referenced to above... was actually my 30th birthday! I was dreading it for ages but... kudos to everyone. cathy... who it was prob the only time I saw her that year... an the wonderful lexa for making me an absolutely amazing cake... its fascinating that cathy after all these years an the gap must have remembered my comments about the Kirov cake that I loved, as my vegas cake was very similar... an tasty too! I didn't waste it like glenn ian did on the train to London lol rip Kirov cake!
then... of course it was the Kirov that day too... ian won. again. one behind ryan im way behind both... but dads army as karl put it still running wild at the top, not letting go of it.
an speaking of mr goodland... the most touching moment of the year was without a doubt his little tribute video he made for me on that day... very very humbled nearly cried in front of everyone lol was amazing... the little messages off rohan an Caitlin got me lol. was by far the best thing a friend had done for me since terri left a picture of me with the sibs here randomly... an very appreciated. brother from another culture... always grateful even if...
I just don't see the guys anymore... this year I can count on one hand how much ive seen loz ian dan karl ryan... its heartbreaking my off days now I see mostly the people from work or im busy catching up on my boring stuff at home. I don't even play much xbox anymore (no concentration for it) I dunno... attention span has gone to pot.
so anyway! I started off by saying it was a shit year and ive gone on to write positives? makes sense oui?
I know... it doesn't. so why crap hmm. well... the obviously crappy thing was Jaycie me splitting. its happened a fair while ago, was before my birthday... and it still to this day absolutely hurts like hell ive never known anything like it. its... hard because I still like her, an she wasn't a cunt she didn't cheat on me or anything we just... didn't speak much because our job patterns clashed then she closed up, in a very big way saying she couldn't offer me what I wanted an it was for my own good...
I say it was mutual when people ask an it was when it happened... but its just. devastating to lose someone who... honestly I could have an judging by how long this feeling lasted, I prob did think I was falling in love with her. how that can happen with someone that lives hundreds of miles away.. I dunno. only cally and prob claire back in the day have come close to the amount of time ive spent thinking or talking about her an she literally did/does make every other girl seem ridiculously ordinary. I work with some pretty smoking ladies an I know in general a few too... but they just don't have ... it?
I dunno. its hard to word. just a horrible gap that's gone that cant be filled... her own space that only she could prob take back. will she... I doubt it. shes more stubborn than me. I wouldn't admit that to her... hence why its on here she prob, hopefully, doesn't remember this.
shes annoyed me with wordings an stuff on facebook... ive only lied to her once since we broke up... where I put on one of my many, many fbs that I wanted to delete certain people... she was one of them at one point because it hurts to see her so oblivious to it...
shes stressed to me shes not... but. its hard to tell. 'shrugs distance thing again right if we were a more day to day in person job then I guess I could tell more.
I dunno lol. I can only say on here that's she prob the first person I been official with that I have nothing negative to say about in hindsight except... that she gave up on something amazing. I hope she doesn't regret it one day. Ive done essentially all I can do to... say how I feel. I never mentioned the love bit because it scared the absolute hell out of me just writing it on here an honestly... it terrifys me thinking it but its so close to matching my mindset on it... all of course the whole one little world that goes with it.
mutual. was it. one point maybe...
I dunno.
anyway!!! so yeah me Jaycie split... it sucked... it put a dampener on a lot for me. the not seeing friends thing growing up thing. sucked. vegas hangover... worst ever feeling...
this year! into march now an I think ive been out of Newport twice, always exciting oui? I did actually have a fab tastic time going to west midland safari park, last time I went there was prob before I started writing this way back when! went with laura sammy kayla from work, three girls I love working with for their own reasons. laura in particular I very close with she always telling me bits an pieces... she can do so much better than her present scenario. sammy... female image of me extremely stubborn controlling angry eyed but prettier than me. kayla... me her both love animals and cake. enough said :P
so yeah, the next big project on the horizon is for me to go on a little trip to Amsterdam, once that's done an I enjoy it im going to look at a big eurotrip or a sunny getaway depending on the whos whens whys. some of the girls said a logcabin long weekend as well which I loved the sound of but us all getting time off at the same time is nigh on impossible lol...
I sorted my provisional out so I can do lessons now, finally that I have the cash to do it (the whole cut down of social life... I next to never drink now only been drunk once/twice this year? hate it now...) the cash being there I just need time off to do it an to sort the 15 year plus sleeping plan issue that might actually be a bit of problem now...
you think?!
hahaha...
well. im babbling... I guess this has helped. its so weird to be writing on here again, but its good to know that Im writing on here and its going to look like its meant to. quizzes could start coming back up on here that would be top decision! facebook... snapchat... twitter. I hate updating them now I barely do. instagram even...
lol if I ever read this back how many social things have come an gone? myspace? myyearbook (now meet me) faceparty? bebo? msn messenger (ah the good old days, they should do an app) Skype!? too many...
anyway... as I put on my quizzes thanks for reading...
thank you Nicholas for actually updating, its been far too long an hopefully wont be in the future. if you do somehow read this, im extremely impressed people. very.
stay safe peeps x
Why am I back? whats happened since I last posted?
Again going to have a very quick skim read in my previous post... Prob should have before I started this but its not me unless I have a babble... hallé rant first right! woo remembering the old references!
Right so it was basically celebrating how great 2013 was, and it was fantastic. New York memory, Polands disaster which, like I said then I can look back on fondly, getting with Jaycie, planning for Vegas! Worlds looking great! What could possibly go wrong....
Well! Honestly... lifes been pretty shit since. Start with a positive tho, the job that I was starting to actually getting a little positive with, well I got promoted, how many times on here have I ever said that, its been me slagging off people for not doing it, well craig, my (gay) boss, kept his word I got trained an around april may last year I finished my training an been a manager for past 9 months or however long it is along with the pay rise an what not. honestly, it doesn't feel like my job has changed all that much except I have to set an example, which I prob don't do enough, and I have to be responsible for building etc, which I think im actually pretty good at! half way there right?
honestly tho, I've looked at other jobs because, the money, while better, isn't good enough for what I need, which is my own place etc. so times kinda coming up where I have to make the next big step...
Speaking of big steps... we took a very big step over to las vegas too! the holiday did indeed happen, September last year, an without a doubt it was one of only two real highlights of the year for me, it was absolutely amazing trip there, granted new York was prob the greatest trip of my life how do you compare to a trip with wrestlemania Niagara falls times square the white house Madison square garden etc, you don't ....
but vegas without doubt replaced the blackpools as the ultimate guys trip experience ...
the flight there with the drama with ryan nearly getting our plane turned around, the pure adrenaline rush we all had when we finally found our limo pick up and sat down put the music on an just bam! champagne popped as did we music on the sights of vegas right there, that arguably was the best high of the year. without a doubt. then the coyotes night, both of them lol, the grand canyon, my one an prob only ever poker tournament showing (dan beat me) gambling in ceasars palace, the passed out guitarist we all thought was a hero... drinking in style in suits... it was absolutely unbelievable trip. loved it.
the other highlight, that I referenced to above... was actually my 30th birthday! I was dreading it for ages but... kudos to everyone. cathy... who it was prob the only time I saw her that year... an the wonderful lexa for making me an absolutely amazing cake... its fascinating that cathy after all these years an the gap must have remembered my comments about the Kirov cake that I loved, as my vegas cake was very similar... an tasty too! I didn't waste it like glenn ian did on the train to London lol rip Kirov cake!
then... of course it was the Kirov that day too... ian won. again. one behind ryan im way behind both... but dads army as karl put it still running wild at the top, not letting go of it.
an speaking of mr goodland... the most touching moment of the year was without a doubt his little tribute video he made for me on that day... very very humbled nearly cried in front of everyone lol was amazing... the little messages off rohan an Caitlin got me lol. was by far the best thing a friend had done for me since terri left a picture of me with the sibs here randomly... an very appreciated. brother from another culture... always grateful even if...
I just don't see the guys anymore... this year I can count on one hand how much ive seen loz ian dan karl ryan... its heartbreaking my off days now I see mostly the people from work or im busy catching up on my boring stuff at home. I don't even play much xbox anymore (no concentration for it) I dunno... attention span has gone to pot.
so anyway! I started off by saying it was a shit year and ive gone on to write positives? makes sense oui?
I know... it doesn't. so why crap hmm. well... the obviously crappy thing was Jaycie me splitting. its happened a fair while ago, was before my birthday... and it still to this day absolutely hurts like hell ive never known anything like it. its... hard because I still like her, an she wasn't a cunt she didn't cheat on me or anything we just... didn't speak much because our job patterns clashed then she closed up, in a very big way saying she couldn't offer me what I wanted an it was for my own good...
I say it was mutual when people ask an it was when it happened... but its just. devastating to lose someone who... honestly I could have an judging by how long this feeling lasted, I prob did think I was falling in love with her. how that can happen with someone that lives hundreds of miles away.. I dunno. only cally and prob claire back in the day have come close to the amount of time ive spent thinking or talking about her an she literally did/does make every other girl seem ridiculously ordinary. I work with some pretty smoking ladies an I know in general a few too... but they just don't have ... it?
I dunno. its hard to word. just a horrible gap that's gone that cant be filled... her own space that only she could prob take back. will she... I doubt it. shes more stubborn than me. I wouldn't admit that to her... hence why its on here she prob, hopefully, doesn't remember this.
shes annoyed me with wordings an stuff on facebook... ive only lied to her once since we broke up... where I put on one of my many, many fbs that I wanted to delete certain people... she was one of them at one point because it hurts to see her so oblivious to it...
shes stressed to me shes not... but. its hard to tell. 'shrugs distance thing again right if we were a more day to day in person job then I guess I could tell more.
I dunno lol. I can only say on here that's she prob the first person I been official with that I have nothing negative to say about in hindsight except... that she gave up on something amazing. I hope she doesn't regret it one day. Ive done essentially all I can do to... say how I feel. I never mentioned the love bit because it scared the absolute hell out of me just writing it on here an honestly... it terrifys me thinking it but its so close to matching my mindset on it... all of course the whole one little world that goes with it.
mutual. was it. one point maybe...
I dunno.
anyway!!! so yeah me Jaycie split... it sucked... it put a dampener on a lot for me. the not seeing friends thing growing up thing. sucked. vegas hangover... worst ever feeling...
this year! into march now an I think ive been out of Newport twice, always exciting oui? I did actually have a fab tastic time going to west midland safari park, last time I went there was prob before I started writing this way back when! went with laura sammy kayla from work, three girls I love working with for their own reasons. laura in particular I very close with she always telling me bits an pieces... she can do so much better than her present scenario. sammy... female image of me extremely stubborn controlling angry eyed but prettier than me. kayla... me her both love animals and cake. enough said :P
so yeah, the next big project on the horizon is for me to go on a little trip to Amsterdam, once that's done an I enjoy it im going to look at a big eurotrip or a sunny getaway depending on the whos whens whys. some of the girls said a logcabin long weekend as well which I loved the sound of but us all getting time off at the same time is nigh on impossible lol...
I sorted my provisional out so I can do lessons now, finally that I have the cash to do it (the whole cut down of social life... I next to never drink now only been drunk once/twice this year? hate it now...) the cash being there I just need time off to do it an to sort the 15 year plus sleeping plan issue that might actually be a bit of problem now...
you think?!
hahaha...
well. im babbling... I guess this has helped. its so weird to be writing on here again, but its good to know that Im writing on here and its going to look like its meant to. quizzes could start coming back up on here that would be top decision! facebook... snapchat... twitter. I hate updating them now I barely do. instagram even...
lol if I ever read this back how many social things have come an gone? myspace? myyearbook (now meet me) faceparty? bebo? msn messenger (ah the good old days, they should do an app) Skype!? too many...
anyway... as I put on my quizzes thanks for reading...
thank you Nicholas for actually updating, its been far too long an hopefully wont be in the future. if you do somehow read this, im extremely impressed people. very.
stay safe peeps x