If i had one wish i'd wish that Mike DeWolfe would fall off the face of this earth

[nickool]

God, where do i start? first off he is the worst person i ever met in MY LIFE, and i've met some pretty bad people. When he talks to me it's like knives jabbing into my brain. Everytime he even looks at me my body starts to feel as if it is bursting into blisters. He tells these horrid jokes, and sometimes i just laugh to pity him, maybe i

Comments

[f_injoemotional]

If I hated mik dewolfe any more it would take physical form. And he braggs about being friends with carrot top. For one why woud you want to be friends with carrot top, two why does he friggin tell everyone! He's so weird HES SUCH A CHOWDA HEAD!!!!

Da Top just don't Stop!

[carrottop8675]

I would just like to go on the record RIGHT NOW and state that I AM NOT nor EVER HAVE BEEN friends with Mike DeWolfe. I hear he eats salads with his dinner. I fucking hate that pimple popper.

***Be sure to check me out this NEWS YEAR on the ABC UP ALL NIGHT NEW YEARS BASH!***

Re: Da Top just don't Stop!

[reworded]

One time, Mike and I went out to dinner (Some fuckbucket gave him my number to try and be funny) I figured ... "I need community service credits and an hour spent with Mike is the equivalent of spending 20 years in the Peace Corps" ... We're at this restaurant and Mike unfolds his napkin, put it on his lap and orders a salad. Did Mike use a knife and fork? No... Not in a conventional manner, he stunk the knife in his purse and combed his hair with the fork and told me after seeing the Little Mermaid he's able to look at traditional items in a new light. After dumping an entire bottle of salad dressing onto his meal creating some type of cold stew he dipped his dirty ill-manicured fingers in and ate the lettuce leaves on by one. He made the most disgusting slurping sound as he did it and the greasy dressing ran down his fore-arms and he'd lick it off before it reached his shirt.

Re: Da Top just don't Stop!

[carrottop8675]

First of all, he won't SHUT UP about the Little Mermaid. In fact, one day, during one of his endless rants, he said something like, "I wish the Little Mermaid was real... I'd marry her." So we were all like, "What the fuck did you just say? Are you hot for the little mermaid?" But before we could get a response, he pooped himself and the smell was so overbearing we all had to leave the room.

Secondly, you should just consider yourself lucky he licked the salad dressing off BEFORE it reached his shirt. What a cretin.

I didn't eat for a week.

[reworded]

I know. Once, Mike was had an obsession with "Girls Gone Wild!" and he thought that he could make millions by making a tape called "Boys Gone Wild!" A copy ended up in my mailbox (Once again, Mike is freak and labeled it "Golden Girls Complete DVD Set" so I wouldn't suspect and when I popped the tape it consisted of Mike in a thin white T-shirt pouring canola oil all down his front and sporting a mean pair of headlights. I threw-up and blanked out on the rest, and woke the following morning with no desire to live another day.

Re: Da Top just don't Stop!

[carrottop8675]

I almost forgot to mention:

***Carrot Top DVD OUT NOW! Check it out:***

http://www.carrottop.com/newcarrot/index2.html

Seriously.