NO CAVITIES!!
yea!! i got a clean bill of health for my teethies today...they also had to do xrays since i was due for those to be done... im so glad that i only have to go to the dentist twice a year - i HATE the dentist... im just not a fan of anyone who is pokin and proding in my mouth with various dentist instruments...
then i got my "happy pills" - which dont necessarily make me happy - but less irritable and edgy...definitely less stressed out and more relaxed and able to think a little clearer and without having a minor incident make me think that its the end of the world or that my life is ruined and horrible... i wish they would work a little better at making me happy, but i guess they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, and i should help contribute as well - i know im not gonna wake up one day and be "Hey - I'm HAPPY and nothing bothers me and all is right in my life - im cured!" i wish...
if someone finds something that does that or creates a pill that can, i wanna be the first in line to shake that persons hand and then ask them for some PRONTO.
anyway - my session went well today too. i told dennis (my therapist) about those two wierd dreams i had like a week or so ago... not really expecting anything to come from it - but i really didnt have anything else to say... i dont really have anything interesting to say, although he always says "your life is very interesting and not boring at all - you have much to discuss" well not at the moment, its not interesting but rather boring... i just dont see why talking about random stuff that happened like 15 years ago seriously helps me out now... i understand to look back at it and try to relate it or something , but its not really relevant all the time - but he seems to think so... oh well... im opening up, slowly but surely... i just dont have anything really to talk about when i go there that i feel comfortable talking about...
im going to start being more diligent at working more on my demo and practicing using the board by myself and using different equipment. im hoping that by the spring, ill have something worth while to send out to stations and see what sort of work i can get - since i know i cant stay at plj as a the night djs producer forever... not like i would want to stay in this position forever... its nice but not long term... i just am not motivated and sort of intimidated and embarassed to practice and do my demo - i feel dumb since im still new at it - but everyone says that everyone goes through that and you just have to keep practicing and practicing and doing it over and over so that you get comfortable with it...
so thats my obstacle -- i need motivation... motivation to perservere over my embarassment and laziness and excuses and just DO IT. JUST DOOOO IT!
well i thought that this was fitting - especially since ive been thinking about where i am now as opposed to even 6 to 8 weeks ago and where i want to conitue you go and what i want to do personally and with work :
Horoscope for: Leo (July 23-August 22)
You may come to a realization today that changes your life forever, but only if you get out of your own way and let it happen naturally. Clinging to something (or someone) you really want only defeats your efforts. But if you open your big heart to the world and make room for the unexpected, you may get exactly what you wanted - and then some! Just being yourself is enough. True love will triumph over all.
Well - Besides the love part at the end, this truly applies to me. It's not someone, but definitely SOMETHING (more like thing"s") that are pulling me back from going forward with my life.
I truly am my own worst enemy.
I guess I just gotta take a stand and go against what I'm used to.
I need to change me.
It's still a work in progress, but at least its in a rebuilding and restructing stage.
then i got my "happy pills" - which dont necessarily make me happy - but less irritable and edgy...definitely less stressed out and more relaxed and able to think a little clearer and without having a minor incident make me think that its the end of the world or that my life is ruined and horrible... i wish they would work a little better at making me happy, but i guess they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, and i should help contribute as well - i know im not gonna wake up one day and be "Hey - I'm HAPPY and nothing bothers me and all is right in my life - im cured!" i wish...
if someone finds something that does that or creates a pill that can, i wanna be the first in line to shake that persons hand and then ask them for some PRONTO.
anyway - my session went well today too. i told dennis (my therapist) about those two wierd dreams i had like a week or so ago... not really expecting anything to come from it - but i really didnt have anything else to say... i dont really have anything interesting to say, although he always says "your life is very interesting and not boring at all - you have much to discuss" well not at the moment, its not interesting but rather boring... i just dont see why talking about random stuff that happened like 15 years ago seriously helps me out now... i understand to look back at it and try to relate it or something , but its not really relevant all the time - but he seems to think so... oh well... im opening up, slowly but surely... i just dont have anything really to talk about when i go there that i feel comfortable talking about...
im going to start being more diligent at working more on my demo and practicing using the board by myself and using different equipment. im hoping that by the spring, ill have something worth while to send out to stations and see what sort of work i can get - since i know i cant stay at plj as a the night djs producer forever... not like i would want to stay in this position forever... its nice but not long term... i just am not motivated and sort of intimidated and embarassed to practice and do my demo - i feel dumb since im still new at it - but everyone says that everyone goes through that and you just have to keep practicing and practicing and doing it over and over so that you get comfortable with it...
so thats my obstacle -- i need motivation... motivation to perservere over my embarassment and laziness and excuses and just DO IT. JUST DOOOO IT!
well i thought that this was fitting - especially since ive been thinking about where i am now as opposed to even 6 to 8 weeks ago and where i want to conitue you go and what i want to do personally and with work :
Horoscope for: Leo (July 23-August 22)
You may come to a realization today that changes your life forever, but only if you get out of your own way and let it happen naturally. Clinging to something (or someone) you really want only defeats your efforts. But if you open your big heart to the world and make room for the unexpected, you may get exactly what you wanted - and then some! Just being yourself is enough. True love will triumph over all.
Well - Besides the love part at the end, this truly applies to me. It's not someone, but definitely SOMETHING (more like thing"s") that are pulling me back from going forward with my life.
I truly am my own worst enemy.
I guess I just gotta take a stand and go against what I'm used to.
I need to change me.
It's still a work in progress, but at least its in a rebuilding and restructing stage.